Ryan's Life

Sorry for making ya'll wait on the rehab details. We got Mikey moved from the hospital 2 the rehab center and his first few days were ok somewhat. He was fighting them pretty hard not wanting to do the things they needed him 2 do. When he moved into his room he was the only one in there and after a few days they told us another boy would be sharing a room with Mikey with the same kinda accident that Mikey had. I thought this is good they will be able 2 talk 2 each other and maybe help each other get thru this ordeal. I wasn't there when they brought this boy in just my Mom was there and from what she told me they him and his kin were nice. When I came in the curtain between the 2 beds was open and everyone was talking things seem 2 be cool.

My Dad was gonna spend the night with Mikey coz I still not wanting him 2 b alone it was about 5 maybe and I was going home I have just been drained lately. I went up 2 Mikey gave him a kiss and told him I loved him and would see him in the morning. The father 2 the boy in the other bed said wow you and your brother must be close my boys would never kiss each other on the lips like that. I said he's not my brother he's my boyfriend. The guys face drop and said you mean 2 tell me u 2 are fags? I said excuse me? He then ape shit crazy and said there is no way we are sharing a room with a bunch of queers! Then my Dad jump in and a lot of stuff was said a lot of yelling Dad called the police and they showed up these people were getting out of control.

The rehab center tried 2 control everything but they couldn't even this kid was running his redneck mouth. Saying he wasn't gonna stay in a room with a fag and get screwed in the ass. Please first off he's 2 young another thing he's 2 ugly and another Mikey would never cheat on me! Anyway back 2 the story at hand. That kid said if he could walk he would take care of us fags! I am like wtf that is a threat! The cops heard him also and told him he better watch what he speaks his mouth was going 2 get him into trouble. Well the rehab place was gonna move the kid and his family 2 another room but my Dad said don't bother we would be taking Mikey home and 2 another center. They tried 2 talk us out of it but I was on my Dad's side and would never feel safe Mikey being there even if one of us was there with him.

So we found him a new center and it's closer 2 the house and he seems 2 like it a lot. We also got a private room no more sharing rooms. Seems like if in anit for bad luck we just wouldn't have any at all. I don't understand guess I never will why people look at what me and Mikey have as being nasty, bad, gross without him I am not me I know he feels the same. I don't go up 2 str8 people and say eww u make me sick so how come we are told that? Sorry I know the answer 2 the question I still get upset because people tell me the love I have for Mikey is wrong and I just don't see it. If 2 people love each other thru thick and thin and would die for the other how can that be wrong?

Later from Atlanta!

On this blog we don't do a lot of self pics we just didn't want this blog 2 be about posting pics of us. Over the years we have taken a lot of heat 4 it also right down 2 being called fake. But in the couple years we been here we have from time 2 time threw up a pic or 2. Well I am feeling all gooey on the inside and just so much in love with the most beautiful man in the world and even tho he don't think so he anit here 2 stop me from putting him up on a pedestal for the world 2 see. My Baby shouldn't hide his beauty from the world I think his beautiful smile and the sweetest eyes should be shared so the rest of the world can see how I just melt looking at him. I Love You Sexy!

Oh I am running a few posts behind sorry I will catch up soon just been so damn busy. I will catch you up on what happen at the rehab and why the cops were there and why Mikey we moved Mikey 2 another center.

Later from Atlanta!

One hand
Reaches out
And pulls a lost soul from harm
While a thousand more go unspoken for
They say what good have you done
By saving just this one
It's like whispering a prayer
In the fury of a storm

And I hear them saying you'll never change things
And no matter what you do it's still the same thing
But it's not the world that I am changing
I do this so this world will know
That it will not change me

This heart
Still believes
The love and mercy still exist
While all the hatred rage and so many say
That love is all but pointless in madness such as this
It's like trying to stop a fire
With the moisture from a kiss

And I hear them saying you'll never change things
And no matter what you do it's still the same thing
But it's not the world that I am changing
I do this so this world will know
That it will not change me

As long as one heart still holds on
Then hope is never really gone

I hear them saying you'll never change things
And no matter what you do it's still the same thing
But it's not the world that I am changing
I do this so this world we know
Never changes me

What I do is so
This world will know
That it will not change me



I'm think we should take the time 2 remember all those who gave there lives so we can be free. American is so close but yet so far behind when America gives all it's citizens the same rights then it will be free. I want 2 thank all the soliders that are fighting in a war that I feel is not right but they do it and many have gave there life the troops need 2 know we support them no matter what! Here at Boys are Ugly we Support the Troops!

I will have an update on Mikey soon and something that happen at rehap that we had 2 call the police in on. I will try 2 get that written and posted very soon. Hope ya'll have a nice and safe holiday weekend!

Love from Atlanta!

Some times I just let things get 2 me and when they do I want 2 run away run up 2 my room close the door and hide from the world. This use 2 work for me but I know now it won't. I hear time and time again Ryan it's time 2 grow up deep down I know I have 2 also but someday's I just don't want 2. That was the other day I just had enough I felt it was all closing in on me and I wanted my room. Today I feel much stronger and ready to face the world today. I know where my support system is and I can't turn away from that coz I need u guys more than u know. I have cried my heart on this blog and u guys told me it was ok 2 cry and held me while I did. I can't no I won't let the haters and nonbelievers run me away I need this support. I am so touched by the comments and the emails I mean I got some great emails and the support and love ya'll gave was awesome. I have said many times before I never was one 2 have a lot of friends growing up and still don't but bloggin help me say what I was always scared 2 say and when people took a look and like I was like well maybe there are good people out there that understand me and like me for me.

I will have an update on Mikey soon he's doing ok but fighting rehab real bad I had 2 rush there yesterday he was really upset. Also I want 2 do a post on Michael Holloway Perronne he is the author who emailed me and has 2 awesome books I fell in love with. If you want 2 check out his books click on his name and go 2 his website or if u want 2 buy the books just click on them and they will take u 2 amazon.com.

Again I can't say thanx enough 4 the love and support ya'll give me!

Sending out love & hugs from Atlanta!

I just wanted 2 write something while Mikey is doing his morning rehab first off I am not sure how much longer I am gonna do this I am really bummed out I am getting a lot of hate comments and emails Mikey told the password and how 2 log in 2 delete the hate comments but ya know it's getting old. Seems even some old lets call them fans that gave us shit in the past are back tryin 2 cause shit again. I just don't have the strength 2 fight them anymore. My God I been bloggin since i was 16 and from day 1 I have had haters and I knew I always would have but 2 kick me when I'm down I guess I shouldn't be surprise when they tried everything they could 2 make me and Mikey go away. Well maybe this time you won I tired I dont have it in me 2 fight u anymore so I guess it's time 4 me 2 bow out I need 2 worry about Mikey and make sure he has all my strength. I will have 1 more post I been working on about an author who I sent an email 2 and he wrote me back I want 2 finish my post on his books and then I don't know from there. Just know the love and support ya'll gave me help me so much wish I could put in words but it always takes a few asses 2 fuck it up 4 everyone. If I don't post again and u want 2 know how Mikey is drop me and email I will write u back and give u an update. On the way into the home from rehabilitation center yesterday I heard this song it kinda touch me.


In this world of mine
There was no room for weakness
I covered every crack in the wall
But there ain't no way that I can keep this secret
Cos when you go like Jerico I fall
You thought I wouldn't shatter
Would I even care?
But there's more to what I'm made of
Than this broken heart can bare

A man ain't made of stone
A man ain't made of steel
The way I feel right now
I thought I'd never feel
Sometimes all it takes
Is facing the night alone
And that's when you know
A man ain't made of stone

Sometimes all it takes
Is facing the night alone
And that's when you know
A man ain't made of stone

That's when you know
A man ain't made of stone

Randy Travis

Just wanted 2 give a quick update before people head off 2 their weekend. Today they are gonna be setting Mikeys cast and takin some of the metal braces away. There is his ankle that the needs 2 be reset they don't like the way its setting. I'm not sure what that means but I bet I don't want 2 know either. Then Monday they said more than likely we could move him to a rehab center and on the road to being Mikey again. I know that is a long road but least now I can see it. Whatever it takes is what I will do!

Oh yesterday when Mom was leaving Mikey ask her is she could bring him back a bologna burger with onions. Any of ya'll know what that is? I tell u one thing that's country right there!

Thanx 4 all the Love and Support.
Have a fun & safe weekend.
Love from Atlanta!

Just wanted 2 give ya'll an update on Mikey somedays are better than others this past weekend was kinda bad. He is becoming very angry on somethings. Like when they want 2 bath him he don't like that at all. I have done it for him a few times even my Mom has and he's ok with that but when they want 2 do it he becomes very upset. I know it kinda sounds weird that my Mom would help or bath him but you have 2 understand my family and most of u do I think from reading my blog for the last three years. My family has always been very open about our bodies. It took Mikey some time 2 get use 2 that but he finally did. He is very private when it comes 2 his body and I think it bothers him when other people touch him. He has become very angry with the people at the hospital and it's not his style and I try 2 tell them that. They say they understand I just hope they do.

The scariest thing that happened this weekend is he tried 2 get up out of bed while I was sleeping. He has a broken leg and on the other his ankle is broken but he tried and of course he fell and he pulled some iv's out and was very upset. The alarms went off and the nurses come running in he said he wanted 2 go home. He cant feed himself right now and that upsets him. He told me yesterday if I wanted 2 find a guy that wasn't broken he would understand. All I could do was cry. I finally told him that wasn't gonna happen I didn't want anyone else I wanted him and he would get better again. I told him when we started dating I found my soul mate and its 4 life and I meant it. We cried together and he just held my hand. This is very hard on me and I am being strong 4 Mikey I am glad I have u guys 2 listen 2 me and give me support I don't have a lot of friends 2 talk 2 and this is kinda my way 2 let some of it out and ya'll seem 2 know what 2 say 2 get me thru another day Thanx! I will update u more when I can.

Normally I don't take emails I get and share them but this 1 just got 2 me I had 2 share. I emailed Elise the lady that wrote it and asked if it was ok. I just feel what she had 2 say should be shared with the rest of the world. Many times over when I think this world just plain sucks and many people in it someone comes along and gives me hope that there still are good people in this world. Ya'll know the shit comments I have been getting from a group I will not name then one day I check my email and open it up 2 this wonderful letter. So I want to say thanx 2 Elise for taking the time 2 write me and Mikey and want 2 say the same thing I always say. I must sound like a broken record but thanx 2 all of u that leave comments and emails the cards I can't never say thanx enough and how it makes both of us feel that so many care.

I will have an update on Mikey later this weekend so keep checking back. Also look around the blog Keith has been working on it again. As much as I didn't want to Keith had 2 remove the missing children ad something with their ad I guess was messing up some of ya'lls computers when you tried 2 open our webpage. I will be working with them as soon as I can 2 put something back up for the kids that don't hurt your loading of our blog. I haven't said anything 2 Mikey about the shit comments coz I don't want him all upset. I know if I ask him 4 the login and password he will want 2 know what for. So for now do what I do when you see their hate just look right past it and when I get a chance I will remove and ban them from leaving any hate comments. Well off to the hospital thanks again Elise and 2 all the readers!



Dear Ryan and Mike:

I have tears of joy at the news that Mikey woke up, and seemed to recognize his loved ones. Oh, what a wonderful, positive sign. I truly believe God means for the two of you to be together, and hey--you have barely gotten started on your journey! I have been very anxious and upset like so many of your readers, waiting for this good news.

I am sure you are wondering who I am. My name is Elise. I am a 40+ straight woman, currently single, from Chicago---not a lot in common at first glance!

I have been reading your blog for about 6 months now. I found you in a round-about way, I think through a Brokeback Mountain site, which led me to Best Gay Blogs, and then your site.

I have been blessed in my life by knowing a number of gay guys and gals, some through work or school, and some became very, very close friends that I consider to be among my "loved ones." I have lost many to AIDS, but treasure the time I had with them. I can't really explain why I have always felt a strong connection with gays--mostly guys---every person is unique and I don't believe in labeling people or putting them in categories. I certainly haven't liked every gay guy I have met, just like I haven't liked every straight guy or gay girl or straight girl, etc. Maybe I have just been lucky enough to meet ones who have a more sensitive nature and character that I am drawn to in any person.

Naturally, I was very excited by Brokeback Mountain, and interested in reading everything I could about it. It is a beautiful and heartbreaking love story that also makes me very, very angry, because these boys lived in a place that did not allow them to love openly-----and that is still true today. I just don't understand why so many people spend their time and energy being hateful, instead of rejoicing and helping when 2 people find precious love!!!

I am a sucker for a good love story--I admit it!

Anyway, that is a long introduction as to how I discovered you. I am filled with such joy at being able to share your beautiful love story!. You guys are truly special. You write from the heart, which is so cool because it is just totally honest. I think it is amazing that you found each other, and that you decided to share your story with strangers on the internet, like me.


I love reading about your feelings for each other, and your families (good and bad), and for your hometowns, and racing, and politics, and everything! You just tell it like it is, and that's what makes people like me interested in following your story.

You both have a goodness and sweetness about you--ok, I'm getting mushy, but you know I'm right--and I just want to give you big hugs and sit down and shoot the shit with you, and laugh, and cry.

I wish you all the best for Mikey's recovery, however long that takes, and that you can get back on the road together, wherever that is. You know, Ryan, that you need to stay healthy, first for yourself, but also for Mikey. Listen to your 2 Moms!!!!!!!


Take care--you will still be in my prayers,
Elise



Sending Love From Atlanta!

Just wanted 2 give ya'll a quick update on Mikey he's doing ok but not doing as good as I hoped he would be. They tell me it's gonna take time and I know but it's hard when you want things like they were before. They did take the tubes out of his mouth but he has trouble talking and remembering words and he gets very upset real quick. He's slurring his words also they think that will get better and he is in pain a lot the other night he didn't want me 2 leave so of course I didn't most the time he want's my Dad 2 stay with him. Speaking of my Dad we had a long talk last night and he told me some of the things I should except things I didn't want 2 hear coz it upset me he also told me we would do what it takes 2 make Mikey well again and when it's time we will bring him home with all the care he needs. I know I keep saying it but thanks for the comments and emails Mikey knows I have read them 2 him they help me more than u know. I will have a post soon about friends coz I sure found out who my true friends were. I just got a lot on my mind right now so look 4 that post soon. I will also keep u updated on Mikey as soon as I can thanks again 4 being my friends!

Yesterday a prayer of mine and all of yours was answered. Mikey open his eyes at 5:14 pm and what pretty eyes they are. He was very scared he didn't remember what happen. He can't talk with the tubes and things they have stuffed down him all he could do is shake his head yes or no. He held my hand and wouldn't let go for a long time all I could do was cry and he squeeze my hand and shake his head no I knew he wanted me 2 stop and not 2 worry but that's me I can't help it. I don't know what lies ahead for him now all I know is no matter what I am going to be there thru it all he will not go thru anything alone. I want to thank everyone for the prayers I think as a group God heard us and gave Mikey back to me. Ok I am gonna start crying again if I don't stop. I was gonna stay with him last night but about 10pm he squeeze my hand and then pointed 2 the door I knew he wanted me 2 go home and rest and 4 the first time in a long time I did. Something that I found very special was I ask him if he wanted my Mom or his Mom 2 stay the night he shook his head no and pointed 2 my Dad so my Dad ask him if he wanted him 2 stay he shook his head yes and my Dad did stay that 2 me was very special.

Before I forget and I need 2 get I want 2 get back 2 Mikey we had some news about this blog but with all that happen I forgot as you can see there is some new ads and other things going on with the blog. I want 2 say thanks 2 Keith for helping out with it and doing some of what we talked about. Keith is a web designer and one of the best if you ask me. So thanks Keith!

To All of You that said kinds words and gave me and Mikey prayers and sent cards posted on your blogs about Mikey I will never be able 2 say Thank You enough! It does this Southern Boys Heart good 2 see that there is still love and care in this world. I will try 2 keep ya'll updated when I can. When I think there is no hope left for this world I see a group of people I blog with that I call friends show me more hope than I could every dream of. Your the Best! Thanks Again!

Love 2 all my Blog Friends from Atlanta!