There and back again


I finally made it back to work, I think my boss was probably starting to wonder what I looked like after my protracted absence! I'd been putting off looking into my work email account for a few days now and now I wish I hadn't as the university SPAM filter seems to be playing up:

Dear world, I do not want emails inviting me to "beat her womb with my love rod", which seems strange as you also seem worried about the size of my "tool" - a mixed message if ever there was one. I was touched that you [a family member of a recently deceased wealthy diplomat from a country I've never heard of] have decided to take me into your confidence and pay me to help you gain access to your inheritance, I can only assume that we've met on the conference circuit and you liked my paper in order to find me this trustworthy.... Grrr, SPAM, oh the rage.

In other news: The manwife has moved out, back to the UK, in preparation for his new job so all of this blog's authors will be waking up all lonesome tomorrow morning. Actually, this isn't quite true as I have a giant Mr Funny to keep me company tonight who won't hog the duvet or snore so it's not all bad :-)

Sordid Lives

Wow this morning I woke for the first time in a long time alone. Now before you have a pity party for me let me explain why my Mom and the boys (Corey & My Bro) went back 2 Atlanta with her after spending the summer with me they have 2 get ready for school shopping and all that back to school stuff. I really miss them a lot yes u little fuckers I know u read this and I said I miss you guys a lot! Waking up alone really wasn't that bad just coming home from work the house seems quiet and empty but hey I will get thru it ok. The drama that has been going on in my life I still decided 2 keep quiet about for now but all I will say coz I know it's on some of ya'll mind me and Austin parted ways and that's all I'm gonna say about that. The neighbors have been real good at keeping me company so I don't feel so alone but some alone time is good. I also have picked up some more hours at work 2 keep me busy and my mind off some stuff it seems 2 have helped. Anyway enough on me let's talk about Sordid Lives the Series and what we all can do to make sure they have another season so I can use your help on this so at the end of the post click the link and tell Logo how much we love the show and want it for a few more seasons!

I was first introduced to Sordid Lives the movie by my gay uncle he was like Ry you need 2 watch this coz it's like about our family. I always loved coming 2 my Uncles coz he was like the coolest person I knew and he had all kinds of crazy movies and would let me do damn near anything I wanted yeah ok I am brat and proud of it. Anyway I remember him putting in the DVD and the movie started and this women singing this song called Sordid Lives I later found out it was Olivia Newton John at the time I didn't know who she was. Then I got 2 meet all the crazy characters of the movie and I was like omg my Uncles right this was our family being from the south I had family members just likes these people. When I went home after that month with my Uncle I open up my suitcase and he had put the DVD in there with a note telling me when I am sad or depressed pop in the movie and I have many times and each time I laugh I know all the lines in the movie but still laugh at them.Then I heard the were making a Series about the movie and am like oh hell yes! Last week was the first night of it and many people say it was slow 2 start with and I would agree but I talked with Daniel my neighbor and we both agree that we think the reason was for people who didn't know the movie and having 2 introduce the characters 2 them. I personally think it started out awesome and can't wait for tonight at 10 on Logo for it to come on. If you haven't seen it or the movie people you need 2 see this movie it is so us in so many ways. Set you Dvr or your Tivo or Vcr and watch it you won't be sorry. I think my favorite person beside Ty from the series being so damn cute is Sissy I think she is the glue trying to hold them all together. Brother Boy how could you know laugh at him he is so damn funny. If you have seen it who is your favorite? Make sure you check out the links on the bottom of this post and please write Logo and tell them we love the show and want it for next season hell even if you don't like it write Logo for me and tell them you do! I will owe you!
Thanks 2 Daniel for helping me with this post!

Del Shores Sordid lives on Myspace


Sordid Lives page on LOGOONLINE

Jason/Ty Myspace

Here is where you can write a letter to Logo and tell them we want our Sordid Lives for next season! Also to make it an hour show and easy on the damn commericals now click on this and write them please for me!

Thanx Kisses Ya'll

Now watch the show tonight and remember!

Ain't it a bitch sortin' out our sordid lives
It's a bitch when you come to realize
got yourself a box of Cracker Jacks
then you get a really shitty prize
It's a bitch sortin' out our sorry little sordid lives

Lolita and Crime & Punishment


Hearing about child abuse really gets my hackles up - it's hard enough to retain any innocence in our younger years without being subjected to that sort of horror. My heart goes out to the victim. I used to work for NightLine, a listening service run for/by students, and listen to these sad stories and it was hard sometimes just to keep it all together for the poor souls on the other end of the phone. I only ever had to deal with one such incident and even though I never spoke to them again, much less met them (outside our remit), I still do wonder if they're ok.

Reading through the responses to Ryan's post I was struck by the intensity of emotion of the comments, particularly when discussing the appropriate punishment for the offender. Let me be crystal clear: I abhor child and sexual abuse, especially the sexual abuse of a child, in all its forms. Also, I'm not judging or criticising any individual posters - we all know that this blog (and its original authors) have suffered attacks on here from external sources over the years so the last thing I want to do is provoke any infighting - I'm just opening up a topic for debate. Consider what follows as an "opinion piece" to use the broadsheets terminology.

I'd like to address the issue of punishing the offender. I certainly don't agree with (physical) castration, as this is a dangerous step down the "life for a life" route and I don't support torture/death-penalty/etc. However, I do agree that most offenders cannot be "cured".

So how does one resolve this paradox? Simply sticking ones head in the sand and hoping the problem goes away or (worse still) covering it up are not options. The (perceived) typically British attitude to not talk about domestic/child/sexual abuse has led to more problems than it solves and still not enough cases are brought to court with too many perpetrators walking free as the result of a "X's word vs. Y's word" type cases falling apart (especially instances of rape allegations). Science is of some help here in assiting those in judgement to discern the truth of a case but it should be born in mind that it is still the precise wording of our legal systems and its implementation that is the tool that determines the outcome of any day in court. Thankfully, we now live in a time where it is easier to debate the issues not only of the crime, but also its punishment and I hope that this will help the victims. Political parties can easily win popular approval for their stance on crime and debating and re-examining the legal system is very much in vogue - but it pays to remember that this was not always so: Consider that it took a considerable amount of effort to see Lolita/Ulysses published and one immediately uncovers an entire history of topics that were deemed too taboo for public consumption and debate.
There has been some talk of chemically castrating offenders by giving them hormone injections but as far as I'm aware this hasn't been trialled anywhere and there are many obvious problems with its implementation and policing. The Sex Offenders Register in the UK prevents offenders getting jobs which put them in proximity to and in a position of trust of children and I would hope has minimised any re-offence but it's certainly not foolproof. Locking away offenders is (possibly) my favoured option although this has regularly become uneconomical in the past for various British governments. And what does one do with offenders when it becomes too expensive for the taxpayer to keep them incarcerated? I remember many years ago when it was announced that known sex offenders were being reintroduced to communities that there was a huge public outcry - many of the redtops carried out witch hunts to name and shame these people with usually horrendously bloody repercussions. Those in favour of sex offenders meeting a more violent end may not necessarily see a problem with this but consider the following true event - in Leigh Park, a deprived area of Portsmouth, a mob found out about a child abuser in their community and pursued a man, chasing him down the streets, throwing bricks etc, all the while he was crying out "but I'm a paediatrician..." Mob mentality terrifies me, we so often behave at our worst when in large groups. Thankfully, the police rescued him before anything (more) serious happened.

The ideal solution would of course be for these offences never to happen but sadly we don't live in such a utopia and Philip K Dick style precognition enhanced law enforcement is scientifically unlikely (not to mention necessitating a thorough re-imagining of the legal system). So, we're stuck with picking up the pieces after something unforgivable happens and learning as a society how best, not to forgive, but at least move on.

Once again, this isn't a criticism of anybody's opinions - any comments welcome.

Child Sexual Abuse

Ya know I am pissed so this is my pissed posted. Somebody I know I found out over the weekend was sexual abused by there family member I really would like 2 go into it who what and when by can't so right now just hang with me in time I will. This pisses me off so bad someone you know the family trusted this guy and he went and did this. The sad part is he hated gays said we were the scrum of the earth and that he wouldn't trust me with his kinds or any fags for that matter well I love bring news 2 dumbass people look at the numbers they don't lie. I got my info from American Psychological Association check it out!

70% of all perpetrators of sexual abuse are related to their victim. Child sexual abuse offenses where the perpetrator is related to the child, either by blood or marriage. The most-often reported form is father-daughter and stepfather-daughter with most of the remaining reports consisting of mother/stepmother-daughter/son. Father-son incest is reported less often, however it is not known if the prevalence is less because it is under-reported by a greater margin. Prevalence of parental child sexual abuse is difficult to assess due to secrecy and privacy some estimates show 20 million Americans have been victimized by parental incest as children.

60% are other acquaintances such as friends of the family, babysitters, or neighbors; strangers are the offenders in approximately 10% of child sexual abuse cases. Most child sexual abuse is committed by men women commit approximately 14% of offenses reported against boys and 6% of offenses reported against girls.

Look it up for yourself straight men abuse children more than gay men do and then they call me the scrum of the earth. I say the hell with you they should take and cut your penis right off. This just pisses me off coz I know there are good gay parents out there that could give a lot 2 a child that is in the system Coz there gay they won't let them adopt a child for fear that were gonna abuse them. Well like I said look at the numbers before you point your fingers at us gays look in your own back yard bitches!

Tomorrow or maybe Thursday I am gonna get into Sordid Lives the Series!
Later from Florida!

Oh all comments welcome on this topic good or bad!

Pre-victory lap


Not a lot happening really as we're still in waiting for the cremation of my nan (tomorrow afternoon), I'm still at my parents so I've not had a lot of internet access or time - so I apologise for my lack on contributions to the blog lately.


The manwife has headed back to Ireland to prepare for his repatriation to the UK, a phrase which makes "packing" sound more glamorous than perhaps it is. Ho hum. Needless to say we enjoyed some of teh hawt gay sexings while he was here, which was nice :-) My parents are really accepting of him and have even offered some of my nan's furniture to us to help us set up home.


Outside of the family home England is gripped with Obama-mania! It's in the papers, the news, the pub chatter, the..., you get the picture. I enjoyed a piece of Downing Street protocol early on which prevented our premier from shaking the hand of the presidential candidate as he'd not done so to McCain when they were at a press event together recently. Symbolism in politics, you've gotta love it. He also met (possible future leader) Cameron who apparently gave him some Radiohead CDs to add to that already famous ipod list. The rest of Europe seems to have gone bonkers over Obama's tour too, especially the Germans whom it seem almost need reminding that he's not won the damn thing yet. It seems we Europeans get pant wettingly excited by the Obama stardust! The only disconcerting thing appears to be that some of the broadsheets have suggested that this "pre-victory lap" is upsetting voters back home. Thoughts?


More regular blogging should resume from Tuesday onwards (fingers crossed) and in the mean time I wish Ryan well and hope he works through whatever is troubling him - *hugs*





Is it cold there now or not?

Short and sweet post today I am gonna take a few days off from blogging maybe Calvin will have a little more 2 say if I'm not hogging up all the time. Some things have been brewing for the last week and I think ya'll know what it is. I have some issues I need 2 work out I am not a person that likes hurting others and that is what I am doing now. First I need 2 make myself happy but I also have 2 cut the strings so I can make myself happy. I read as most of you did about someone sayin talk me out of Tampa well it didn't work and I thank God it didn't. So give me a few days 2 work all this out and I'll be back with a post I think all of us have been waiting for.

"As you lay beside me, softly sleeping, this I know.
There's nothing better once you've had the best."


Later from Florida!

Goodbye Sophie

As ya'll know yesterday Estelle Getty or as we all know her as Sophie passed away yesterday she was 84 years old her birthday would have been this Friday. I grew up on the Golden Girls it was my Mom's favorite show and it turn out 2 be mine also. So yesterday when the news came out I was shocked my Mom called me and she was sad over it. How could anyone watch the Golden Girls and not laugh at her she made that show you can still see the Golden Girls on Lifetime. So I just want 2 say Thanx Estelle for the laughter the tears and the love you showed your fans now go up there be in no more pain and give them a hell of a show on that Golden Stage. Sophie thanks for being our friend!





The Golden Girls

Helga comes to Florida

Well Helga and Jack came to visit me and to meet there new friends that are gonna be traveling with her. If you want 2 know more about Helga and crew check out Laurie's blog Helga was started by her and has been a few places in America already who knows maybe if you ask Laurie she could come to your town for a visit. Course Helga came 2 Florida she wanted some sun so she laid out by the pool and the beach she also wanted a boat ride no trip 2 Florida will fun without a boat ride. All I know is Helga had a good time and she wants 2 come back this winter when it gets cold out there in Texas.

On another note yes I seen the post thanx for the emails but I check everyday just like ya'll do and I can hope things look like I think they do. Soon as I find out I will let ya'll know. Let's just keep good thoughts ok.


From Florida Helga & Gang say Later!

A sort of homecoming

A quick update while the manwife is in the bath:



I'm currently back at my parents place as my maternal grandmother recently passed away. It's all a bit poo really. Thankfully the manwife has popped over from nearby Brighton, where he was house-hunting, to lend a hand where needed. It's the first time he's visited my parents place so I've been doing the local touristy things with him which didn't take long but provided a welcome distraction from the domestic situation. I've been helping out with the music for the service, mainly tracking down the old songs that my grandfather wants played and trying to edit them down the way my mother and uncle want. I've also been liaising with the funeral directors and a few other external services. So far so useful... The viewing's on Friday and I'm not expecting that to be easy. I managed to hold it mostly together when I found out she was on her way out and then again when she died but am not anticipating being so stoic when I see her again. We'll see. The service is on Monday.



In other news: Happy belated birthday to Ryan! May troops of buff men serenade you and feed you handpicked grapes! You gorgeous guy you!

Shame on you

All in all it's been a good week and my birthday was better than I thought it would be. Thanks for the birthday wishes and the ecards ya'll sent meant the world 2 me. Thanks to me friend who had my ass all over Florida having a blast. Key West was awesome I always love it down there I could see myself retiring down there if you never been down there go trust me you won't be sorry.
I got an email the other day I won't say from who but they kinda called me out so to say that I have 2 talk about it on here. They were giving me down the road for the way I live my life. They were upset at my post and the way I spend money and not even my money my parents money. They went on 2 say I should be a shamed there are people out there that don't have money and live check to check that they go to bed hungry or even worse. I totally understand there are people out there that have little or nothing and yeah I might spend a little more than what I should but don't come down on me without knowing me first off I do work and I do pay bills. Yes my parents own the house I live in and yes the pay most of the bills but I do work and I do help. Don't judge me cause I go to races to honest most of the time that cost me nothing cause of my friend I don't pay to get in and I don't pay for motel room coz I stay in his rv. So you know I also volunteer at hospice and deliver meals 2 people with aids and there families that can't get out and when I'm gone I make sure that's covered before I go. I also work with kids that might not have a chance if people like me didn't go down to the center and help them with there school work. So judge me coz I spend money or coz I write about it on this blog that's fine I can handle it. Yes my family may be blessed a little when it comes to having something but we and I don't forget the people that have less we all help in many ways.
Well now that I'm pissed I think that's enough for this week ya'll have a safe and fun weekend!
Later from Florida!

Back (again) and happy HNT!



I flew back from holiday in Spain (near Alicante on the Med side) where we topped up the sandle tan!

Can You Guess

Ok what started out Monday and my birthday I thought was gonna be a shitty day coz I am not big on my birthday. I know I should be happy but the thing I stress over is getting old and not being able 2 stop I know I know get over it haha. Anyhoo I thought Monday would be another boring birthday my Mom was suppose 2 fly in and so wasn't my friend well Mom didn't come in she not until this weekend but my friend did and was he ready for a party he being going thru so stress and needed a break and he was bound that he and I was gonna have a blast and boy did we. We made are way all over Florida it seems like it and boy did I ever drink 2 much but 2 days worth man I made it home last night and I just died right then and there. Believe it or not I woke this morning and I'm not sick or anything like I am ready 2 go again haha not! Hell maybe I don't know haha!

Oh I have a visitor coming today she at the post office and my friend is picking her up for me who is it it's Helga & Jack if you want 2 know who that is go visit Laurie's blog!
Can you guess where we was?
Later from Florida!

I Hate...............


Oh I also hate birthdays not everyone elses just mine means I'm getting old!
Later from the Tampa Bay area!

Have a Fabulous Weekend





When I get missing my Mom I always pop in the Golden Girls on dvd and call my Mom. When I was little me and Mom would sit and watch them together and of course as a gay boy I fell in love with them. I still watch them today when I catch them on lifetime. Anyhoo thanx for all the comments and emails and your support & advice I know it sounds like I have a lot of drama going on but anit I suppose 2 after all I am a young gay male and from what I am told that's what were all about then we get older and see that some of the drama was uncalled for haha! Hey thanks for being a friend!

Later from Florida!

Dealing

I've always been told when your not a happy person the only one that can change that is you. So I need 2 do some soul searching change some things in my life and make it all better again. I wish I could spill more on here but I just can't but in time I will be able 2 and let ya'll in on what I am dealing with until then I need 2 work them out first. Oh on the post from the other day I did call the main office of the care home and filed a complaint and I talk with my family and we decided 2 make sure we go more so maybe it will be better now I hope.

Later from Florida HHNT!

A Care Home

I had a wonderful weekend at Daytona I still am not happy with the new car but I have 2 get use 2 it coz there not gonna go back. All I can hope for is this one won't stay around long before they decide 2 change designs again. All in all it was a good time and I am happy that Kyle won if my friend can't win then I'm pulling for Kyle 2 win it all.Yesterday I went 2 visit my Aunt she's in a care home that I won't mention. Anyway I haven't been a good nephew 2 be honest I haven't visited as much as I could I mean it's in the same town that I live in least I could do is go and visit a few times a week. I will be working on that from now on trust me. Anyway yesterday while I was there I got upset and finally I went off on some people. Let me take you 2 how it all started I know my Aunt smokes like an old train so I always check outside before I go 2 her room well she wasn't there on my way 2 her room she was at the nurses station waiting 2 get her pills I heard the nurse talking very cocky 2 her and saying stuff like this "I am not running all over this building looking for you 2 give u your meds if your not in your room at 5 then I'm not worried if you get them or not" I am like WTF? When she seen me walk up all the sudden change here attitude the look on my face she knew I heard and I was pissed. I didn't say anything at first there is 3 nurses sitting there on there asses doing nothing there is a lady in wheel chair behind me yelling she cold and a man walking down the hallway naked.

Finally I had enough and I had 2 open up my big mouth I said excuse me you have a lady back here that telling you she is cold you have a man walking here in front of God and everybody naked and you I pointed at the nurse that was cocky with my Aunt I said you was being shitty 2 my Aunt coz you didn't want 2 walk your fat ass down the hall 2 the smoking room 2 give her the meds she needs. I look at the other nurse and said you need 2 get this women a blanket of something and you (the other nurse needs 2 take this man 2 his room or dress him you have ladies her) and you need 2 either lose your attitude or get yourself another job. Well you think that went over well? Oh hell no it ended up being a knock down fight me against these 3 nurses and them telling me I have no rights there coz I didn't have power of over my Aunt so I called my other Aunt and ask her 2 come up there right away and I told her what I walk into and she went off on them also. They told her if I come in there starting trouble again they would have me throw out and a restraining order against me so I can't come back. I am still thinking wtf?

I already called there head office for what good it will do but this is what I am thinking. What a shame that we have people in care homes taking care of are elderly like this. I don't know I was raised to be proud of your job be proud of what you do and if your not then get another job. These nurses should be ashamed and one day they will be old and I hope they get treated better than they way they are treating people right now. I thought we put are loves ones in care homes coz we are unable 2 take care of them they way they need 2 be and a care home was suppose 2 go out of there way 2 make sure they do get the help and care. If this is the way we take care of our elderly then same on us!

Later from Florida!

Hello sailor and other nonsense


Sorry for the brief hiatus but I’d been back in the UK attending interview which was nerve wracking! Rather than flying between Dublin and London we, the manwife came with me as he was on his way to Brighton, sailed. Our primary motivation for this was the fact that the manwife doesn’t enjoy flying and it’s supposedly more carbon friendly. However, I get horrendously seasick so it’s not the ideal solution, but meh – the things we do for love eh? Needless to say, when I was traveling back alone I took the plane. The long and the short of this is that I’ll be starting my new job in September which is nice.

Post UK and back in Dublin I had a few days in the office during which time a tame postdoc wandered into my office and defiled my whiteboard with pictures of particles orbiting a black hole. After a few hours it became apparent that I wasn’t of much use so the dejected postdoc was released back into the wild to spend the remainder of the day frolicking in the twenty minutes of sun Ireland had appointed her for “Summer”.

I’d intended the weekend to be a relatively subdued affair and Friday night I settled in front of the TV to watch the BBC4 Nick Cave session with a glass of wine but things were not to be… My flatmate’s girlfriend is leaving for a month today so a glass of wine turned a few drinkies which finally crashed headlong into the intoxicating bender of doom™. Boys are ugly but so cute does not endorse heavy drinking and I was suitably punished Saturday morning.

So, via yesterday’s post about Rafa’s win, that brings me up to date. Today all eyes are on the General Synod meeting in York to see how the Anglican faith will resolve the potential schism over women bishops. The conservatives are calling for a men’s only church, the liberals for ordination of female bishops and the compromise position is one for creating a two-tier church with “super-bishops” to provide an alternative authority position if the local parish don’t recognize the authority of any female bishop they may be appointed. Personally, I’d like to see greater equality in the church and would rather the debate went on longer than adopting a two-tier unhappy-half-way-house. As we all know, fighting for equality is worth doing right even if it takes time although I think the wait has already been too long. Incidentally, the General Synod (being held at the University of York where I studied for a few years) has introduced additional “airport” style security measures this year. What happened to the image of the CoE was a mainly "tea-and-scones" religion?

Rafa!




Rafael Nadal just did the impossible and beat Roger Federer on grass! In an amazing five set match the muscular Spaniard beat the world number one 6-4 6-4 6-7 (3-7) 6-7 (8-10) 9-7 woo! Go Nadal!




Daytona & Pride

Sorry for getting the post up late this week but it's been a crazy week and only getting worse. Tomorrow afternoon we are heading over to Daytona so we can catch the truck race and be there for all the race activities they have going on for the 4th weekend. Besides I need 2 be there 2 give support to my friend he is dealing with a lot of shit right now. Funny one weekend I am doing pride and the next I am doing nascar kinda crazy huh? Anyhoo pride this past weekend was awesome we met some new friends and went 2 a few new clubs all in all what a good weekend. I don't think we stopped are pride until Monday morning we had all kinds of people over for some pool fun and some cookout. I was surprised with myself at the pride parade as much as I wanted 2 go up and get into it with them hate people and stick there signs up there asses I didn't say anything for I know that's what they wanted and I wasn't feeding the beast.

It just pisses me off that they use the bible 2 point fingers and 2 judge and if I'm not wrong I think it says not 2 judge others that was God's job. Seems a lot of theses so called Christians sure try 2 do God's job. I like that saying don't judge me and I won't judge you cause we all get judged in the end. Also live and let live is another good one. All I want is the say rights as everyone else that's all I want 2 know my partner has the same rights as married couples. If I get sick he has the right 2 come and see me or make medical chooses for me if I was unable. Right now we don't have that and it would great to have if. I don't need full marriage rights I would be fine with a partner type thing hell I can get married now if I want it just wouldn't be legal and what is marriage anyway just a piece of paper the state gives you. I just want the same rights as all Americans. Well that's enough preaching for today I'll leave you with some more pride pics and some fun around the home front. Also thanks for making Calvin feel at home but I knew you would coz my readers rock!
Later from Florida!