When you have a lot 2 say but just can't say anything right now let Mother Nature speak for you! If you listen she has many, many beautiful things 2 say take a sec and listen.Later from Florida!
When you have a lot 2 say but just can't say anything right now let Mother Nature speak for you! If you listen she has many, many beautiful things 2 say take a sec and listen.Later from Florida!
What a crazy morning I have had. I got up this morning for work I always get up early always have. I was sitting by the pool drinking coffee and well you know what else that I get yelled at for. Anyway the phone rang it was Drew's mom. Oh Drew is a boy that my brother met down here. Let me back up maybe some of you don't know but my brother and Corey are both down here also stayin the summer with me and Austin. Now Corey myself & Austin are over 18 my brother isn't but he was left with me so I am in charge of him so 2 speak. Anyway him and Corey met these boys down at the beach a few weeks ago and they been all hangin out since then. Now I live mainly in a gay community I feel safe here and we have security and all. Anyway people around the town I live in know it's a gay community sometimes we get reminded when they spray paint on the walls around the neighborhood fag or queers stuff like that.
Anyway Drew has been spending a lot of time out here hanging with my brother and Corey. Well this morning his mom call and she was upset. She ask if the neighborhood we lived in was a queer neighborhood she heard it was. I said yes it is? She then ask if I was a fag? I am like we or I like the word gay she said don't get cute with me I am like excuse me you called me remember if you don't want an attitude with this fag don't be calling with one. She then said she was coming 2 get drew and she was bringing the police with her and if any fag rape her son they would be going 2 jail! I am like bring them bitch! Well they show up before she did. They ask for Drew and one cop took him outside 2 talk 2 him while the other wanted 2 question me and the others in the house. I was like um no! I am callin my dad first before you come in my house or talk 2 anyone. So I did I told him what was going on he said 2 put the police on the phone and when the cop gave me the phone back my dad said do not talk with anyone and ask them if there was a crime committed then arrest somebody but if not to leave your property.
So I did just as he told me by then Drew's mom pulled up and this is the first time I seen this women and my word str8 from the trailer park. She was yelling and screaming accuse us of raping her son and all this shit. I am so glad my neighbors were outside 2 hear her coz that like slander or something. Anyway the police told her 2 calm down that nothing happen that Drew knew that everyone was gay and nobody touch him. He told the police he like hangin out with us coz we had a pool and stuff and we didn't have as many rules as he did at home and he thought we were cool. How sad is it that a parent like that has such a closed mind that would think we was doing anything 2 Drew. Normally when you have a parent like that the kids are haters also u know Drew has a level head on his shoulders and an open mind that shows he is a good person 2 me. I know the boy won't be allowed out here anymore and that's sad. Maybe we will see him at the beach or something. Dad is flyin down today 2 handle some more legal stuff he's called twice since this all happen. I guess the police were questioning why my brother was here. Hello I am over 18 I think I am allowed 2 keep my brother if I want 2. Anyway I will keep ya'll update on this drama. Oh I had 2 cancel this morning work and pick up a shift this afternoon. That damn bitch!
Later from Florida!
Anyway Drew has been spending a lot of time out here hanging with my brother and Corey. Well this morning his mom call and she was upset. She ask if the neighborhood we lived in was a queer neighborhood she heard it was. I said yes it is? She then ask if I was a fag? I am like we or I like the word gay she said don't get cute with me I am like excuse me you called me remember if you don't want an attitude with this fag don't be calling with one. She then said she was coming 2 get drew and she was bringing the police with her and if any fag rape her son they would be going 2 jail! I am like bring them bitch! Well they show up before she did. They ask for Drew and one cop took him outside 2 talk 2 him while the other wanted 2 question me and the others in the house. I was like um no! I am callin my dad first before you come in my house or talk 2 anyone. So I did I told him what was going on he said 2 put the police on the phone and when the cop gave me the phone back my dad said do not talk with anyone and ask them if there was a crime committed then arrest somebody but if not to leave your property.
So I did just as he told me by then Drew's mom pulled up and this is the first time I seen this women and my word str8 from the trailer park. She was yelling and screaming accuse us of raping her son and all this shit. I am so glad my neighbors were outside 2 hear her coz that like slander or something. Anyway the police told her 2 calm down that nothing happen that Drew knew that everyone was gay and nobody touch him. He told the police he like hangin out with us coz we had a pool and stuff and we didn't have as many rules as he did at home and he thought we were cool. How sad is it that a parent like that has such a closed mind that would think we was doing anything 2 Drew. Normally when you have a parent like that the kids are haters also u know Drew has a level head on his shoulders and an open mind that shows he is a good person 2 me. I know the boy won't be allowed out here anymore and that's sad. Maybe we will see him at the beach or something. Dad is flyin down today 2 handle some more legal stuff he's called twice since this all happen. I guess the police were questioning why my brother was here. Hello I am over 18 I think I am allowed 2 keep my brother if I want 2. Anyway I will keep ya'll update on this drama. Oh I had 2 cancel this morning work and pick up a shift this afternoon. That damn bitch!
Later from Florida!
Well I hope ya'll had a great Memorial weekend! Did any of you cooked out or you yankees hit the swimming pool for the first time this year? Haha u know I love ya all! Let's see we stayed home Friday night watch a movie and chilled in the hot tube we had a few clients Saturday morning we wasn't suppose 2 have but one of the other crews cancel out so I said we would take it. Saturday after work we came home jumped in the pool for a while then got dressed and went 2 dinner. We went 2 the olive garden I really like that place. Anyway after dinner we came back home got in the hot tube for about an hour and some friends called and ask if we want 2 go out and I knew Austin did even tho he didn't say anything I just know he wanted 2. So ended up going 2 Ybor City (pronounced EE-borh) they have a Gay district down there and some of the clubs you only have to be 18 to get in not like that club in St Pete that I won't name that we got bared from coz of the 21 age thing for those that live in the area you know what club I am talking about.
Anyway Saturday night we went out for some parting and dancing. Sunday we laid around the house and no it wasn't because of hangovers. We both I think only had a couple drinks. Sunday was just lazy day with the Indy 500 on follow by the Coke 600 it was just race day all day. I am so happy Kasey won I am not a Tony fan and was so glad his tire blew. Monday we had some friends and neighbors over for a cookout and for the record the guy down the road with the houseboy they came also. This time we just talked about everything and nothing. I know it's unlike me but I am takin ya'lls advice on this one and not saying anything. Austin talked 2 the boy and he knows we would help if he needed it but yesterday he seem happy so I am not getting involved. I been tryin 2 figure out home come all the neighbors come 2 our house who's house did they all go 2 when I am not down here. Oh well I like having people over and we had a good time. I do have a question maybe somebody could answer do you think people settle for someone just so there not alone?
Later from Florida!
Anyway Saturday night we went out for some parting and dancing. Sunday we laid around the house and no it wasn't because of hangovers. We both I think only had a couple drinks. Sunday was just lazy day with the Indy 500 on follow by the Coke 600 it was just race day all day. I am so happy Kasey won I am not a Tony fan and was so glad his tire blew. Monday we had some friends and neighbors over for a cookout and for the record the guy down the road with the houseboy they came also. This time we just talked about everything and nothing. I know it's unlike me but I am takin ya'lls advice on this one and not saying anything. Austin talked 2 the boy and he knows we would help if he needed it but yesterday he seem happy so I am not getting involved. I been tryin 2 figure out home come all the neighbors come 2 our house who's house did they all go 2 when I am not down here. Oh well I like having people over and we had a good time. I do have a question maybe somebody could answer do you think people settle for someone just so there not alone?
Later from Florida!
As ya'll know I support are Troops 100% I don't agree with bush or the war but as an American that's my right. But for the men and women who serve I have all the respect in the world for. This Memorial Day take a second to remember those who gave all so we could be free. Maybe one day we all will be free with the same rights I believe that day is coming I already see a turn in the right direction. Be safe this weekend!
How many of you are gonna have cookouts?
How many of you are gonna have cookouts?
I walked through a county courthouse square
On a park bench, an old man was sittin' there.
I said, "Your old court house is kinda run down,
He said, "Naw, it'll do for our little town".
I said, "Your old flag pole is leaned a little bit,
And that's a ragged old flag you got hangin' on it".
He said, "Have a seat", and I sat down,
"Is this the first time you've been to our little town"
I said, "I think it is"
He said "I don't like to brag, but we're kinda proud of
That Ragged Old Flag
"You see, we got a little hole in that flag there,
When Washington took it across the Delaware.
and It got powder burned the night Francis Scott Key sat watching it,
writing "Say Can You See"
It got a rip in New Orleans, with Packingham & Jackson
tugging at its seams.
and It almost fell at the Alamo
beside the Texas flag,
But she waved on though.
She got cut with a sword at Chancellorsville,
And she got cut again at Shiloh Hill.
There was Robert E. Lee and Beauregard and Bragg,
And the south wind blew hard on
That Ragged Old Flag
"On Flanders Field in World War I,
She got a big hole from a Bertha Gun,
She turned blood red in World War II
She hung limp, and low, a time or two,
She was in Korea, Vietnam, She went where she was sent
by her Uncle Sam.
She waved from our ships upon the briny foam
and now they've about quit wavin' back here at home
in her own good land here She's been abused,
She's been burned, dishonored, denied an' refused,
And the government for which she stands
Has been scandalized throughout out the land.
And she's getting thread bare, and she's wearin' thin,
But she's in good shape, for the shape she's in.
Cause she's been through the fire before
and i believe she can take a whole lot more.
"So we raise her up every morning
And we bring her down slow every night,
We don't let her touch the ground,
And we fold her up right.
On second thought
I *do* like to brag
Cause I'm mighty proud of
That Ragged Old Flag"
By Johnny Cash
One of the many things you will see in a boys bathroom in a gay night club.
Happy HNT Ya'll
Happy HNT Ya'll
First off let me say thanx for the advice on this topic. I also want 2 say I had 2 remove a couple comments 1 for trashing me and 1 for trashing one of the commenter's. Look panhandle bob may have been a little harsh but I also think he is entitled 2 his opinion I did ask for advice and he gave his even if the words were a little harsh I do know where he was coming from. Please people when I ask for advice give it from your heart that's all I ask and let's not hate on each other we are all entitled 2 are opinion if we all agreed all the time this place would be boring.
So all those that said I should mind my own business on this matter advice taken! That's what I am gonna do I am keeping my noise out of it. Mw and Austin talked about this all day yesterday and the boy was pretty clear when he spoke with Austin he was fine. So we have 2 take it as that and leave it alone. I have 2 be honest this bothers me a lot but I know there is nothing I can do. I do think there is more 2 the story but again it's none of my business. Austin went down yesterday and talk 2 the boy and just offer an ear if he needed 2 talk and from that we are gonna leave it alone.
Work is been going good a little slow but that's ok with me gives me more time with Austin. So what plans do any of u have for the holiday weekend? We were invited up 2 Charlotte for the Coca-Cola 600 weekend but we haven't decided yet. I know I am running out of time if were gonna go I am thinkin about passing on it and hit another race later this year. I haven't been feeling 100% and I'm scared if I get around a group of people I'll end up sick again. Maybe we should just stay home have a Memorial Day cookout with a pool party. Let me know what your plans are.
Later from Florida!
So all those that said I should mind my own business on this matter advice taken! That's what I am gonna do I am keeping my noise out of it. Mw and Austin talked about this all day yesterday and the boy was pretty clear when he spoke with Austin he was fine. So we have 2 take it as that and leave it alone. I have 2 be honest this bothers me a lot but I know there is nothing I can do. I do think there is more 2 the story but again it's none of my business. Austin went down yesterday and talk 2 the boy and just offer an ear if he needed 2 talk and from that we are gonna leave it alone.
Work is been going good a little slow but that's ok with me gives me more time with Austin. So what plans do any of u have for the holiday weekend? We were invited up 2 Charlotte for the Coca-Cola 600 weekend but we haven't decided yet. I know I am running out of time if were gonna go I am thinkin about passing on it and hit another race later this year. I haven't been feeling 100% and I'm scared if I get around a group of people I'll end up sick again. Maybe we should just stay home have a Memorial Day cookout with a pool party. Let me know what your plans are.
Later from Florida!
We had a wonderful weekend did some cooking out played in the pool and also played on the beach some also. All in all it was a awesome weekend we had 2 work yesterday and we both don't mind that hell I can say I love my job. There is an issue I wanted 2 talk about I am having a hard dealing with. There a guy who lives down the road from us he is like 40 and his new boyfriend is 20 now normally I don't care as long as they are over 18 they can sleep with who they want. They came down for one of are cookouts was the first time we met them heard things of course from other neighbors but first time they came. Anyway this is the issue I have the more they drank the more they became open with me and other neighbors. Not in that way get your mind out of the gutter haha. Really the older man was talking about this boy use 2 be a houseboy for a friend of his and this friend gave him 2 him. I am like what gave you this is a human people don't give people 2 one another. He said I didn't mean it like that I said well you said it. He them told me that this boy left home when he was 15 and moved in with this friend of his at 16 didn't finish school can hardly read or write and he said he was trying 2 teach him the right way 2 live. I ask him are you fucking him? I know it's a hard str8 forward question but I needed 2 know before I could go on. He told me yeah the boy is always horny I said yeah we are at that age. Then I said if your really tryin 2 help this boy you wouldn't be fucking him but getting him a teacher and teaching him how 2 read and write. But no your fucking him while your tryin 2 teach him about life I said only thing different than you and they guy before is you say your tryin 2 teach him life yeah ok! While I was talking with this guy Austin was talkin 2 the boy and Austin was telling me that this boy told him he was a houseboy. He told Austin he been a houseboy since he was 16 and didn't know how 2 do anything else so this is the life he was suppose 2 live.
I have such a problem with this and I really don't know how 2 deal with it. I personally think there is more 2 this boy something deep inside maybe something with his parents and him being gay. Austin couldn't get much out of him but he feels like I do also. I just don't think this a life for anybody a houseboy? That's like just saying a house whore and I don't think that's right. Any Advice?
Later from Florida!
I have such a problem with this and I really don't know how 2 deal with it. I personally think there is more 2 this boy something deep inside maybe something with his parents and him being gay. Austin couldn't get much out of him but he feels like I do also. I just don't think this a life for anybody a houseboy? That's like just saying a house whore and I don't think that's right. Any Advice?
Later from Florida!
Finally Friday finally the weekend and we are done with work for today! We don't have any people coming in this weekend so we get the weekend off also how cool is that? If I have time I will try 2 do some catch up posts this weekend. For now we are hitting the pool and starting are weekend enjoy yours be safe and be loved!
Kisses from Florida!
Kisses from Florida!
Why is it people get there rocks off making fun of others? I don't get this and I have 2 be honest I am guilty of it myself. Course I have been called faggot, queer, and a lot worse but I'm not talking about that. Just maybe way a person looks or dresses or like with me last night the way a person talks. Everyone who knows me knows I am a southern boy born and breed and damn proud of it. It just strikes me funny when someone starts talking with me they get this look on there face and then soon after they ask oh btw where you from Kentucky? I say no why? I already know the answer 2 this question I just want 2 make them say it. Well that draw you have or they say that hillbilly voice. Well I am very proud of my southern draw and my hillbilly voice and I speak it proud. Now this don't really upset me as much as being harassed for being picked on coz im gay. Still we as humans make fun of other people for silly reasons and we make that person maybe feel bad about themselves. I just think it's wrong we need 2 stop all this and just love each other no matter what coz being different is what makes us unique. I'm starting today!
HHNT Later!
HHNT Later!
Living close 2 the beach is wonderful even tho I have a house with a pool sometimes its just nice 2 drive down 2 the beach. The sounds of the waves and the sun just nice 2 sit and look and listen calms me down. A good stress reliever for me and I bet for millions of people. Like I said in yesterdays post things are looking up for me finally I have Austin and it's been great I have a job that I love and hell I live where there is warm weather all around. I don't mean 2 sound like a prick or anything but damn it's about time. Me and Austin been hitting the clubs a little something Mikey didn't like 2 do but Austin does. They have some great clubs in Tampa well Ybor City and in St Pete. We go coz we love 2 dance and meet other gays besides the ones that live around us nothing wrong with them just being new down here I like meeting new people. Besides the guys that live in the neighborhood don't go clubbing they say that there youth days are behind them and it's for people like me & Austin. Whatever you ole bitches get your ass up and lets dance! Haha they know I love them. Not much else going on I guess I will leave it open if there is any questions or something I was gonna talk about and forgot just leave a comment or drop and email and I'll answer it.
Later from Florida!
Later from Florida!
I met Austin in Atlanta he was working at a coffee shop. The chain he worked for was right across the street from my head doctor. I would always go early so I could get a cup of coffee and sit and watch the people that were going in and out of the doctor office. It help me somewhat 2 see I wasn't the only one with a messed up head. Anyway I went in one morning and he was there working and I was like damn what a fine boy. So I started going back after my doctor appointment just 2 see him. I started sitting inside just so I could see him and think damn I wish I could have him. Much 2 my surprise he was thinkin the same thing about me. The day he ask me for a date I was like why would a hot boy like this want 2 take me out? He tells me all the time I am cute and hot but I just don't see it anyway I said yes of course and we went 2 dinner and then a drive and then a hike. We talked like forever and I told him about what I was going thru and how messed up in the head I was and if he wanted 2 run I would understand. He told me he liked what he saw and he wasn't running anywhere. Well he did kinda he ran 2 Florida with me. That's how we met and I am happy 2 say I am very thankful for coffee!
A little on work and what we are doing. Austin transfer down here I told him I need 2 get out of Atlanta and my parents had this house for me and I wanted 2 be here. He said fine we would move 2 Florida and I was like u want 2 move a state away and move in with me? Live everything you know and your family and live with me? He said yeah why not? I said well we haven't know each other that long and maybe you won't like me after a few more weeks of course he said that won't happen that he would only love me more. Anyway I an getting off the story we moved and he was gonna go 2 work at the coffee shop and even went and got his hours and all. Then I went 2 this rehab center and talked 2 the about helping in rehab told them I did that kind of work before and like helpin people. They said they hire teams and all there teams are filled but need 1 more team to fill the rotation. I ask them how many makes a team and what did I have 2 do 2 start my own? They told me 3 people and one person had 2 be certified by the state or a nurse that was. There was this girl there that was also looking for a job and she was a nurse and needed 2 people for her team so guess what ended up happin? Yep me and her formed a team with Austin helping.
I decided also of going back 2 school 2 get state certified in rehab. So 3 days a week I am doing that and working also. We are helpin military people coming back from Iraq, that were injured. These guys & gals we are helping are heroes and need all the help we can give them and I fill honored. We work at different times in the day so I we don't have the same hours. With me going 2 school and Kelly that's the nurses name works part time somewhere else we have less time in then others but the best thing is we have guys that request only us and that makes me fill great. Even the head supervisor said we were a great team and in the 3 years the rehab has been open they never had people ask for any special team. Like I said I will go out of my way 2 help these military guys and gals I am very honored on what they were ask 2 do and did it. I know I could never and it takes special people and when there hurt I am gonna do what I can 2 get them back up again. Oh my Dad is very happy I am working and not out spending and that I am tryin 2 live on what I am makin tryin 2 go up. Anyway that's it for today sorry I was all over the board today my mind is going like 100 miles an hour.
Later from Florida!
A little on work and what we are doing. Austin transfer down here I told him I need 2 get out of Atlanta and my parents had this house for me and I wanted 2 be here. He said fine we would move 2 Florida and I was like u want 2 move a state away and move in with me? Live everything you know and your family and live with me? He said yeah why not? I said well we haven't know each other that long and maybe you won't like me after a few more weeks of course he said that won't happen that he would only love me more. Anyway I an getting off the story we moved and he was gonna go 2 work at the coffee shop and even went and got his hours and all. Then I went 2 this rehab center and talked 2 the about helping in rehab told them I did that kind of work before and like helpin people. They said they hire teams and all there teams are filled but need 1 more team to fill the rotation. I ask them how many makes a team and what did I have 2 do 2 start my own? They told me 3 people and one person had 2 be certified by the state or a nurse that was. There was this girl there that was also looking for a job and she was a nurse and needed 2 people for her team so guess what ended up happin? Yep me and her formed a team with Austin helping.
I decided also of going back 2 school 2 get state certified in rehab. So 3 days a week I am doing that and working also. We are helpin military people coming back from Iraq, that were injured. These guys & gals we are helping are heroes and need all the help we can give them and I fill honored. We work at different times in the day so I we don't have the same hours. With me going 2 school and Kelly that's the nurses name works part time somewhere else we have less time in then others but the best thing is we have guys that request only us and that makes me fill great. Even the head supervisor said we were a great team and in the 3 years the rehab has been open they never had people ask for any special team. Like I said I will go out of my way 2 help these military guys and gals I am very honored on what they were ask 2 do and did it. I know I could never and it takes special people and when there hurt I am gonna do what I can 2 get them back up again. Oh my Dad is very happy I am working and not out spending and that I am tryin 2 live on what I am makin tryin 2 go up. Anyway that's it for today sorry I was all over the board today my mind is going like 100 miles an hour.
Later from Florida!
To my Mom and all the Moms that read my blog!
Later from Florida!
Later from Florida!
I have a couple friends that have many things going on in there lives and I am proud of them so I want 2 take today post and promote them a little. I know I own ya'll a post on the new job what me and Austin are doing and I will get 2 it soon. I know I also own you the story on how and where I met Austin and how we become boyfriends and I will get 2 that also I promise. With having a job I am learning about time and how little of it I have so please just hang in there and I will figure it all out and get the posts up. Have a good weekend Ya'll!
First is a friend of mine Michael Perronne who is an author and his books are awesome. I haven't check out the new book yet but I will be trust that. If its as good as his others it will be well worth the money. Soon as I read it Michael I will do a post about it!
Synopsis
Critically acclaimed novelist and Mississippi native, Michael Holloway Perronne explores how a forbidden teen romance and the violent act of a desperate boy forever binds a community. One year after Hurricane Katrina devastated the small coastal town of Long Beach, Mississippi, two families with deep roots in its Southern traditions are desperately trying to rebuild the way of life they have always known. But some, including the Mexican-American Santos family, are bringing a large dose of previously all-but-unknown cultures to this insular community. While one young man, a gay prodigal son now living in San Francisco, finds himself drawn back to the very area and culture he fought so hard to leave behind. In this emotionally charged novel, three families struggle to find the beauty that can arise from the worst of nightmares.
Barnes & Noble
Amazon
One last thing before I go I just want to give a shout out 2 Charles at The Trevor Project thanks for all your support and if there is anything I can do personally or with this blog just let me know!
First is a friend of mine Michael Perronne who is an author and his books are awesome. I haven't check out the new book yet but I will be trust that. If its as good as his others it will be well worth the money. Soon as I read it Michael I will do a post about it!
Synopsis
Critically acclaimed novelist and Mississippi native, Michael Holloway Perronne explores how a forbidden teen romance and the violent act of a desperate boy forever binds a community. One year after Hurricane Katrina devastated the small coastal town of Long Beach, Mississippi, two families with deep roots in its Southern traditions are desperately trying to rebuild the way of life they have always known. But some, including the Mexican-American Santos family, are bringing a large dose of previously all-but-unknown cultures to this insular community. While one young man, a gay prodigal son now living in San Francisco, finds himself drawn back to the very area and culture he fought so hard to leave behind. In this emotionally charged novel, three families struggle to find the beauty that can arise from the worst of nightmares.
Barnes & Noble
Amazon
My other friend he does parodies JB Ghuman Jr. at 11:11 Entertainment TV his stuff is really funny stop by and check some of his stuff out I promise you will get a laugh out them.
Avril L. Parody of "Girlfriend" called "BOTTUM"
Avril L. Parody "BOTTUM"
Kylie M. Parody of "2 Hearts" called "2 HUNKZ"
Kylie M. parody "2 HUNKZ"
One last thing before I go I just want to give a shout out 2 Charles at The Trevor Project thanks for all your support and if there is anything I can do personally or with this blog just let me know!
I am so sorry for not posting much this week and not doing a weekend update post. I have been so damn busy with the new job and Austin hehe yes you know what I am takin about! Anyway I will try 2 get 2 a post soon once I get work and all covered and work out the times I will start posting again like I did before. It's funny how much my life has change in a month all 4 the good I like what I see and where I am going. There having pride a little early in a town south of me it's this Saturday and were thinking about going I'll let ya know for sure if we do for those that live in the area or that's going so we can meet up. Sorry Patty I couldn't make the race this time starting a new job I just couldn't but we are planning on going this fall. My friend is going 2 be at his trailer he told me go up say hi 2 him tell him your a friend of mine he might hook u up! Well that's it 4 now I need 2 finish waking Austin up and get ready 4 work! This week for hnt I did the tummys I love Austin's tummy!
Later from Beautiful Florida!
Later from Beautiful Florida!
I had one of the best weekends ever! I will give all the details later I have been so busy. Me & Austin both have a job he didn't take the coffee job I'll explain later it's a good story! I just didn't have 2 blog today and still don't but wanted 2 stop in for a sec and say thanx 4 the comments and emails I love ya'll very much and means the world 2 me that ya'll care! I will be on tomorrow with a weekend update post it was awesome weekend! Right now I have 2 go have people over 4 a cookout!
Peace & Love from Florida!
Peace & Love from Florida!
I'm writing this post for my friends out there that wonder what happen them 2 weeks I disappeared also for anyone out there that may be going through what I was. I am not writing this for people 2 belittle me or for people 2 praise me or whatever I just feel I need 2 write this 4 my friends and anyone it may help and mainly for myself. Them 2 weeks I was gone from this blog was a very hard time in my life I had broke up with Mikey and I lost some friends I thought were friends but they were just back stabbers and users. Anyway I was dealing with that and being sick again just getting out of the hospital for like the millionth time in my life and thought well it's just not worth it anymore I was tired of fighting so I decided it was time 2 put a stop 2 it all. I got up that morning waited fro everyone 2 leave before I did it I went down had coffee with the parents and talked with my bro, sister and Corey and just waited for everyone 2 leave. My parents didn't understand how I didn't show any signs that morning the doctor told them some people gives signs and some don't my case I did by being sad he said but I didn't give off anymore than that. Hell I could have told them that. Anyway I am not gonna go into details on what I did or I should say how I did it but I do have a rope scare now 2 remind me everyday I have a reason 2 live. Oh Corey came back home that day he said or he told my parents something just didn't feel right with him like something was wrong so he came home from school and found me.
I am very happy he did at that point of my life was the lowest time in my life but I see now it wasn't worth dying over. Corey called 911 and my parents I remember waking up in the hospital and the doctors saying I was ok I didn't hurt anything. I was takin over 2 the mental part of the hospital and than transfer 2 another mental place for some help. I knew then I didn't need help coz going through that I knew I didn't want 2 die anymore I wanted 2 live. The doctor thinks sometime people try and then they get it and find the reason 2 live and others try it again he seems 2 think and I know I will never try it again. I know I felt I had a lot on my shoulders with my health problems and with Mikey. Now please don't think I am blaming Mikey coz I'm not we have talked coz he blamed himself for what I did and it wasn't his fault it wasn't anybody's fault but mine and mine alone. It hurt knowing that me and Mikey were on different roads coz I thought he was my mate for life and when I seen him on a different road it crush me. I need to learn how 2 better deal with big things like that in life. See I am a brat my Mom spoiled me and most of my life if something was wrong she could fix it if I was hurt or sad she could fix but this she couldn't fix and I was lost. No I am not blaming her either I said before and I'll say again I blame myself period.
I do want to say this for anybody going through issues and you think there is no way out there is trust me. When you think that no one cares that's not true either there is people that care I care. Before you do something you can't take back seek help reach out 2 a friend hell reach out 2 me email me leave a comment and I'll do what I can 2 get you the help you need. Trust me there is people out there that care and do want 2 help there is someone that cares for you even if you think there isn't. It took me going through this 2 understand and I know there is people that care. I will have some links at the end of this post that will help and Like I said I am here also just write me. I didn't go into grave details of that day but I wanted 2 give you the 2 weeks of hell I went through. I want 2 thank Corey for being my Angel and I want him 2 know how much I love him and so glad he is my best friend. I also want to say thanks for all the readers and commenter's and blog friends your love and support also helps more than you know. Just remember anybody out there seeking help please use the links or email me and I will lead you in the right direction.
Next week I will go into some more on Austin the meeting and the first date and how he makes me so happy! Have a awesome weekend Hugs and Kisses!
Later from Beautiful Florida!
The Trevor Project
YellowRibbon.org
Suicide.org
I am very happy he did at that point of my life was the lowest time in my life but I see now it wasn't worth dying over. Corey called 911 and my parents I remember waking up in the hospital and the doctors saying I was ok I didn't hurt anything. I was takin over 2 the mental part of the hospital and than transfer 2 another mental place for some help. I knew then I didn't need help coz going through that I knew I didn't want 2 die anymore I wanted 2 live. The doctor thinks sometime people try and then they get it and find the reason 2 live and others try it again he seems 2 think and I know I will never try it again. I know I felt I had a lot on my shoulders with my health problems and with Mikey. Now please don't think I am blaming Mikey coz I'm not we have talked coz he blamed himself for what I did and it wasn't his fault it wasn't anybody's fault but mine and mine alone. It hurt knowing that me and Mikey were on different roads coz I thought he was my mate for life and when I seen him on a different road it crush me. I need to learn how 2 better deal with big things like that in life. See I am a brat my Mom spoiled me and most of my life if something was wrong she could fix it if I was hurt or sad she could fix but this she couldn't fix and I was lost. No I am not blaming her either I said before and I'll say again I blame myself period.
I do want to say this for anybody going through issues and you think there is no way out there is trust me. When you think that no one cares that's not true either there is people that care I care. Before you do something you can't take back seek help reach out 2 a friend hell reach out 2 me email me leave a comment and I'll do what I can 2 get you the help you need. Trust me there is people out there that care and do want 2 help there is someone that cares for you even if you think there isn't. It took me going through this 2 understand and I know there is people that care. I will have some links at the end of this post that will help and Like I said I am here also just write me. I didn't go into grave details of that day but I wanted 2 give you the 2 weeks of hell I went through. I want 2 thank Corey for being my Angel and I want him 2 know how much I love him and so glad he is my best friend. I also want to say thanks for all the readers and commenter's and blog friends your love and support also helps more than you know. Just remember anybody out there seeking help please use the links or email me and I will lead you in the right direction.
Next week I will go into some more on Austin the meeting and the first date and how he makes me so happy! Have a awesome weekend Hugs and Kisses!
Later from Beautiful Florida!
The Trevor Project
YellowRibbon.org
Suicide.org
Yummy, Yummy, Yummy! Nothing More 2 Add Today!Later Ya'll Nothing but Love 2 Ya'll
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)