It's been a week and I still can't believe it. I am a mess I know she is in a better place now but just seems so unreal to me. I'm angry at myself cause I didn't get there quick enough I didn't get to say goodbye something I have to deal with. Please for give me if I don't post for a while I just need time. Thanks for the emails and comments they mean the world to me more than I can say on here.
Grandma, I didn't get a chance To tell you my goodbye. God took you very suddenly Sadly, I don't know why.
I thought of you with love today, But that is nothing new. I thought about you yesterday, And days before that too.
I think of you in silence, I often speak your name. All I have are memories, And your picture in a frame.
Your memory is my keepsake, With which I'll never part. God has you in his keeping, I have you in my heart.
To Kadin
I never knew the power of a song until I heard the music playing the day Grandma passed on I never knew what innocence was about till the first time I laid eyes on the face of a new-born child I never knew love no, I mean real love I never knew that kind of love till this moment with you
To Mikey
In a friendship we're free to expose, Parts of ourselves nobody else knows.
The thing that sustains it, and sets it apart, Is not something spoken, 'tis a bond of the heart.
True friends are rare, in a lifetime two or three, I'm so glad it happened, between you and me!
Thanks for taking care of things for us Mikey the farm the animals, the blog everything else you have done. A true friend to our family!
Thanks again everyone for the comments and emails just give me some time and I'll write you back.
I don't know really how to say this I'm terrible talking about death but Ryan wanted me to keep y'all up to date about his grandma. Unfortunately she passed away last night. What makes it even worse is Ryan didn't get there in time to see her. I don't really have anything else to say except keep Ryan and his family in your thoughts and prayers. It may be a while before hes back on here but Ill come back regularly to let you know whats up.
Got a call today my Grandma took ill and they rush her to the hospital don't think she gonna make it. So I will be gone for a while Mikey is gonna come and take care of the blog while I'm gone. Please say a pray I could use it.
It was 27 here in my part of Florida this morning there was frost on the car windows and the grass. Damn I thought I lived in Florida I hate cold. Yesterday when I got off work I stop at the store and got stuff to make chili I know it's always best when it's cold outside and I wanted to have dinner ready for Kadin. So yeah the chili was awesome and Kadin loved it also he ate 2 bowls and took some for lunch today. We were eating dinner and watching the news something we just do anyway with it being so cold out the open the shelters for the homeless and I agree its the right thing to do. We were watching the news like I said and they were now reporting on the animal shelters and they were asking for help they needed blankets and rugs stuff like that to keep the animals warm. Of course I am a big animal lover so I was like ok hurry up with dinner sweety we got to get some blankets and stuff together and run it down 2 the shelter. We didn't have many extra so we took what we had and I was sad to see not many people were there to help. I ask they lady do they have enough to least give each animal a blanket she said no there just not enough anymore in times likes these.
Yeah she knew how to pull my heart strings so I called Mom and told here I just had to do more 2 help she said go ahead and use it so off we ran to the dollar store I got all the blankets and rugs I thought they could use and bought up all the food that they had in stock sorry Dad I will pay you back. We took the stuff back to the shelter and gave it 2 the lady she ask if we wanted to help get the animals ready for the night by passing out the blankets and stuff I was like hell yeah! I was totally impressed with Kadin I didn't know he was such an animal lover like me. I already have 2 dogs but we got our eye on another from the shelter! Please people if you can give any to your local animal shelter do it they can use it even if you call and ask them if they could use rugs or blankets they will take. If feel better helping people then do so times are hard for everyone so do what you can. It's better to give to the salvation army than to goodwill in my opinion I been in then goodwill stores and people give stuff to them and they turn around and charge almost new prices for the stuff anit right if u ask me. Your local church also is a good place to give to only if there not southern baptists damn right I said that southern baptists suck don't give them anything!
Have you ever felt like every eye's on you Well, that's the way I feel when you walk into a room And have you ever felt like making love all day Well, that's the way I feel when you're loving me this way.
And I wonder what it is to feel like you To know someone worships every thing you do Oh, and even though I know your love is true, yes I do Sometimes I wonder if you're lovin' me like I'm lovin' you?
Have you ever loved so much it hurt inside Well, that's the only way my love can be described And have you ever known how cold this world can be? Well, all I know is how cold it was until you came to me.
Oh, and I wonder what it is to feel like you To know someone worships every thing you do Oh, and even though I know your love is true, yes I do Some times I wonder are you're lovin' me like I'm lovin' you?
Are you lovin' me like I'm lovin' you? Are you lovin' me like I'm lovin' you? Are you lovin' me like I'm lovin' you? Oh, I wonder, are you lovin' me like I'm lovin' you? Oh, I wonder?...
Today is a big day for The United States and I am happy for Obama I wish him well and sure hope he turns us around and but America back on the right track. I have to be honest I wanted Hillary but it wasn't meant to be so I put my support behind Obama and now we as Americans don't matter who you voted for we need to support the peoples choice and thank GOD that we don't have to put up with Bush any longer. Well at least look at him we will have to put up with some of the shit he did until Obama can fix all his fuck up's. Yes I did say it I don't like Bush never have never will and all I seen while he was in office was one big cluster fuck. So good look Obama and don't forget there is another group of people out here that want equal rights don't forget about us ok we help to put you in office were here we anit going away all we want is equal rights ok so prove to us that change you talked about! Oh can I ask a favor from ya'll can you go daily and check out Mikey blogs he gets paid if you click on them if you could link them on your blog he gets a little more. He trying to do want he can to make it on his own and if you could help out just by clicking I'm sure he would be so grateful. He has ask on his site he just anit one 2 beg but I am haha sorry Mikey but ya know me I will beg and besides I don't have to beg 2 hard I got the best readers in the world! Oh also I got a nascar post coming this week I got some gossip and pics and stuff that my nascar readers should get a kick out of! How was ya'll weekend do anything fun? All About Sports Hollywood News & Gossip New Chapter Same Old Book
Just some info for ya I talked with Mikey and he's gonna keep on blogging only thing is you have to be invited Mikey ask me to tell ya email him at mikeyp21@inbox.com and he will send u an invite. It's sad that mean people have made us change our blogging so much.
Mean People Suck!
Have a Good Weekend! UPDATE: Mikey decided to go back to open blogging but will control the comments like I am doing. It's a shame really I hate doing that but some people are just plain asses and can't move on if they don't like what we say. But whatever until I feel good about the comments again I will keep it the way it is. How's youe weekend going?
I totally agree with this but I love being naked anyway! Wonder who I am thinking about here? Done this also! This picture here yeah speaks for itself. If you know nascar you know what I mean don't ya think? If your in Daytona today stop by the track Reed will be there from 6:00pm to 7:00pm signing autographs he will be there with some other drivers I think Kyle (Rowdy) Busch is gonna be there also stop in if your in the Daytona area. Next week I will have a nascar post got some gossip and some facts I need to get out there!
Last night after work I went to dinner with a friend see Kadin was working the second shift so he didn't get off until 11. I know Laurie won't wanna hear this but I hate 2 eat alone hell I hate 2 eat but really hate 2 eat alone so if someone don't have dinner with me I normally just won't eat. Well my friend ask me earlier if Iwanted to have dinner with him some where. Well we went to this little mom and pop dinner they have really good homemade food we were sitting in the car getting ready 2 go in finishing up are cigs when I seen this old man by the dumpster. First I thought it's sad and then I thought it's also cold out so I pointed and said look Jason at that old guy. He said the same thing I was thinking how sad. I said lets buy him dinner least tonight he won't be hungry so we went up 2 the old guy and I said excuse me sir if you don't mind we would like to buy you dinner he looked at me funny and said you think I'm in the dumpster for food for myself? I said well I don't know he said this anit for me it's for my dog. Course I said for your dog?
He went on 2 tell us he lived across the street and was on a fixed income and he was working part time but lost that job when the business closed up and he just didn't have the money to buy extra food dor his dog and he didn't want to give it up it was the only friend he had. Yeah I know touched my heart also but also a small part of me was thinking maybe this old guy was jerking my chain so I was like well can we see your dog? He was like how I know I can trust u boys and u anit gonna hurt me? Good point I thought least he is being careful I said here is my cell phone and here is my dl so you know who I am and u can call for help if you feel the need 2. So we walked across the street and yes he had a dog and he was feeding the dog the scraps he found I was totally floored and ya'll know my emotions when they get a running look out. So Jason peeked in the fridge and he said very little in there so we told the old guy we would be right back.
Of course we ran to the store and got some milk, bread lunch meat stuff like that coffee old guys love coffee hell I love coffee working on my 4th cup right now anyway yes we got dog food. We went back and took him the stuff and told him from now on anytime he gets low or don't have the money call us we gave him are numbers told him even if it's dog food call. He was so grateful so it got me 2 thinking I'm sure many of you know an elderly person I'm sure right in your neighborhood think about the times were in right now I know many might have a lot of extra money lord knows I wouldn't if I didn't have this second job. Anyway check in on them with this cold weather across the north right now it might be a good idea see if they need something from the store maybe pick up there meds for them. I just think we need to take a little more of our time and check on them make sure there ok if the times are tough on you think how tough it is on them. Just do it ok it will make you feel good inside and will make them happy also. Ok now I said the bad cold weather up north well it's cold here also it was like 39 this morning but it don't last long here but still it was cold. But I'm thinking about ya'll up in the great white north and 30 below and snow. How nice would it be to get a postcard from Florida ya know with a beach, palm trees and stuff like that. Well if you like a post card from Florida send me an email and I will send ya one. Hell if you want to send me one go ahead I will take a pic of it and post it and write something about that city. That's it for today folks not letting the haters win.
I had a real good nights sleep time to think and time to talk with my friends over this blog thing. This morning after downing a few cups of coffee I open my email and wow got another surprise I had 36 emails some of them were waiting for me 2 publish comments but the others were from readers some that did comment and others who just read my blog. Most of ya'll telling me the same thing if I stop they win and I went thru this before a few years ago and I took the high road then and took control and they went away and they will this time also. Yesterday post was made in the heat of the moment and I let them get to me today is a different story and I am taking back control again so hope you fuckers enjoy your little time in control coz it anit happen today this is my blog has been for years and you will never make me stop they day I stop blogging is the day I want to not that you ran me away.
For now all comments will have to be approved by me I don't like that I believe in freedom of speech and ya'll know that but coz of the hate and the remarks towards my family this is the was it has to be. I will still publish comments that give me a little shit or puts the foot in my ass I have no troubles with them sometimes I need it. Maybe someday I can go back to open comments but this is the best way for now. Sad part is I know who is doing the most of the bad commenting and they don't even have the balls to write me back yes I email them but like I said they are ball less they won't write back just so you know and they know I know the states this is coming from is Florida, Georgia, California, Minnesota I have the towns also and if they don't back the fuck off I will post them next with ip address. If you have a problem with me email me if all you want to do is spew your hate then leave me the fuck alone.
Also I still haven't forgot the projects I am working on for this blog that includes you and I have some ideas in mind that I thought of yesterday and I even sent an email out this morning on an idea just waiting to hear back. So for now that's it I still may take a few days off from blogging so don't panic ok. Lots of love to all my readers and thanks so much for understanding and the support.
Ok this is how it is this is my life when I was 16 I decided to blog some of you have been there since day one others have been readers for many years and I love each of you very much for being a part of my life. Christmas time when I wanted to do the Christmas cards all of you jump in and did it I got over 40 Christmas cards and that was awesome. The thing is now is this is my life 2 screw up and learn I don't mind people coming on here giving me shit calling me out or whatever coz I know they have no life and 2 trash mine makes them feel good. But when you trash my family or Mikey then I have a problem you can pick on me all you want but there is no fucking way I will let you trash them. What I do with my life is my business and I shared it with the blogging world for me and maybe help someone else along away. Now it's not fun anymore shame it takes a few assholes 2 make it not fun anymore now I'm not saying this is it and I'm not saying I'm not gonna blog anymore but I am taking a break I talked 2 Mikey and I wouldn't be surprised if he takes the same road. For the friends out there that want to know what I am up 2 you can send me emails and I will keep u up 2 date other than that I'm taking a vacation from all this bullshit. Many thanks to all that are good people and have supportive me and those who hate and leave the nasty comments yeah 2 words for ya FUCK OFF!
Ok so last night we decided to go out so got all dolled up and away we went. For those that have never been 2 Ybor City is's kinda like New Orleans all kinds of clubs and restaurants they have the str8 part and they have the gay part that we call Gaybor. Anywho they have all kinds of clubs and you can find what u like there that's for sure we try 2 hit them all kinda spread it around well last night while we were making rounds I could swear I felt someone watching me u ever get that feeling? I noticed a couple guys that kinda gave me the creeps I didn't know them at a few places someone sent us drinks and when they waiter tried 2 point them out they were gone. Maybe its all in my head I had more than my fair share of the drinks and my ass is felling it this morning hangovers always fun not. If you have notice I have had a few shitty comments and also right down hateful ones them I deleted only coz of the hate. The others I left up coz i I totally believe in freedom of speech as long as it's not hate. Yes I have a second job I rather not talk about it right now it's my business and when I feel right about it I will talk about ya'll know me I talk about everything. Anyway have a good weekend I have an idea in my head maybe doing something with all of you just need 2 work out the details in my head maybe next week I'll have it worked out and will post about it.Later from Tampa Bay!
Last time I check this is my blog a place where I can write my feelings talk about my moods or anything else I damn well please. I also leave it open for comments the reason I do this is for support good or bad. Yes I can take the bad sometimes the bad really isn't bad it's said to put a foot in my ass and sometimes I need this Carl can testify 2 that. But when people come on here and tells me to grow up is more than a foot in my ass besides that's what I'm doing growing up with the help of friends but I don't need someone coming on here being and ass about bitching about what I am writing on my blog and then hide by not leaving there name just pisses me off. Will it make people happy if I just come on here and write happy thoughts all the time I think not. Least have the balls to write me personally if you gonna bitch me out my email is easy to find hell it's ryryt87@yahoo.com other than that have a nice evening I am planning on it!
A really good friend of mine is an up and coming new author he has a new book out and I want 2 help him as much as he has helped me. The book he has out is called An Officer and His Gentleman. I will have links up for it if you like 2 read then this is a must. I love reading and normally go thru 2 books a week and this is one that you will totally love! just check this out a part from the book.....
Chance Martin, who dreams of becoming a chef on the Food Network, works at a grocery store for a quirky old man who gives him free room and board as long as he walks around naked when the store is closed. But Chance is only interested in cooking, until an attractive stranger walks into the market one morning.
Brody Johnston, bad boy naval officer on extended leave from his post in Europe, can't take his eyes off innocent Chance's round buttocks and smooth legs, and is determined to get to know him better.
So when the old man goes to bed, Chance sneaks out to meet Brody and discovers his talents in the bedroom rival his talents in the kitchen. Though they are complete opposites, Chance is ready to submit to all of Brody's sexual kinks and desires, but it never occurs to him they might actually fall in love with each other.
As Chance fights to live his dream as a chef, and Brody wrestles with the opportunities and limitations imposed by the military, will they be able to find happiness in each other's arms?
Isn't that hot or what so please go buy the book help my friend out. I tell ya what I will personally give one copy away all I want to know is who said this and what's the answer "wonder what people do around here for fun?" I have another idea and I am sure my friend will go along with it if you buy the book read it when your done I will have him on the blog for an interview and ya'll can email me questions for him how about that. He will do it I know it he interview me many times when he was working for best gay blogs. So come on people show some love and buy his book!
Foe me I am doing better on my moods I just need to get them check and do what will make my heart feel better. Just I am at which bridge to cross and which bridge to burn. Hey I have been doing good I haven't had anything to drink since Friday that's good right? Anyway more later I need 2 get back 2 work!
Well I made thru the New Year yes I had 2 much rum and coke and I laid around all day yesterday but that's ok that's what I plan on doing anyway. Something happen at the club that pissed me off and still does thinking about now again. Have any of you seen that show on Style network called Ruby? If you haven't you need to she is such a wonderful women trying real hard to lose weight and she is doing such a great job at it. I wish I knew her personally coz just the show she seems like the type of person I would want to be around everyday. Anyway at the club New Years Eve this guy came in with some friends and he was a big guy I am and never been the type of person to judge anyone by weight, height or anything that has to do with a person. I know how many feel about there body coz I have issues myself. Anyway he came in with some friends and I was singing and didn't think much about him at that time.
A little later one of the guys he was with I ran into in the bathroom we started talking and he was telling me about his friend and that he was at one time up to 450 pounds and he with there support was losing weight and trying to get healthy and that this was his first night out in like 5 years. His friend told me he was around 350 pounds right now and is doing great on losing I thought how cool this is. When we made are way back to the tables his friend was real upset and wanted to leave I didn't go right over 2 see what was going on coz they didn't really know me. The guy I talked to came up to the bar so I ask him what was going on and was his friend ok and this is where I got pissd off. He said that a few guys were making fun of his friend and he ask one guy 2 dance and he said he didn't dance with fat people. Ok yeah that really went thru me like getting hit with a brick.
Why is it that people are so mean? I would think that being in the gay community that people could be nicer 2 each other but I guess I am wrong. I just don't get why people are so mean. I know personally how it feels to be picked on maybe that's why I still have a low self esteem about myself. Well the more I set there the madder I got thinking that this guy came out for the first time in years and people in this bar gonna make him feel so bad I think not. I filled Kadin in on what was going on and then I decided 2 do something about it. Now what I wanted to do was find the boys that did that and smack the shit out of them but that anit gonna help so I did the next best thing I went righ up 2 the table and I ask the guy to dance and the look on his face was priceless. It only got better Kadin filled in some other people that was with us and they also ask the guy 2 dance and all night long we kept that guy up dancing and had a wonderful time. I wanted to show him that there are people that do care. His friend thanked me so many times and I told him that's the way that the world should be what a better it would be.
I got there emails and cell numbers before we left for the night so I am gonna keep in touch with them. I also told them about blogging and the wonderful people that I have that come and reads my blog and that they should start one coz they support they would get from more good people like my readers. If they start one I will let u know that way u can check them out also. I think this new year everybody should be nicer to each other stop hurting each other with words. What a world it would be don't ya think? How you spend youe New Year's?
