And I don't want the world to see me Cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming Or the moment of truth in your lies When everything seems like the movies Yeah you bleed just to know your alive
I just want you to know who I am I just want you to know who I am I just want you to know who I am I just want you to know who I am
Sometimes music says things better than I can.
I know ya'll want details please just give me time something's I can't publicly talk about right now. Please understand this. Tomorrow or later today I might post some injury pics.
This is an update about Ryan, some of you might already know but those that don't he did something stupid and because of his actions he's in the hospital. He asked me to post something and I told him I would and also would say my piece. Ryan has a drinking problem and I think now he realizes this. Because of his actions he will be in some trouble and will live a different life now. Drinking and cars don't mix and he is smart enough to know this. His mom & dad are with him and he is ok. I know some of you have been calling or texting but he doesn't have his phone I do and after a while I shut it off just so you know. Please give our family some time and especially Ryan. I don't know when or if he will post again but he asked me to do this post so I did.
Personal note, Ryan I love you and believe in you. I know you will get through this and your family is and will always be here for you.
In a few hours my brothers will be here and I am so happy! There on spring break next week and they wanted to come and spend it with me. I know most brothers don't like being together but I guess my family is weird cause we love being together. I did a post not long ago about missing them I can't wait to hug them hear the stuff they been doing. I have plans so next week there won't be any posting no myspace or facebook none of that I will be on spring break with my bros. I am taking them to Busch Gardens and Sea World also of course the beach they want to go over to Haulover Beach we went over there last summer when they were here so I'm sure we'll hit it again. All I know is I am so happy they are coming so have a good weekend and a good week! Kadin Love You Babe!
Ok yesterday I read this story after the story I will have my thoughts as only I can ....CLEVELAND – John Demjanjuk was released from federal custody Tuesday evening, just hours after six immigration officers removed the accused Nazi death camp guard from his suburban home in a wheelchair, authorities said. Federal officials had taken Demjanjuk to a federal building in downtown Cleveland, but the 89-year-old retired autoworker's impending return to Germany was halted when three-judge panel of the 6th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals granted a stay of deportation.
An arrest warrant in Germany claims Demjanjuk was an accessory to some 29,000 deaths during World War II at the Sobibor camp in Nazi-occupied Poland. Once in Germany, he could be formally charged in court.
Demjanjuk was driven to his home in Seven Hills after his release, former son-in-law and family spokesman Ed Nishnic said. U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement said in a statement they'll supervise him through electronic monitoring.
In granting the stay, the three-judge panel said it would further consider Demjanjuk's motion to reopen the U.S. case that ordered the deportation, in which he says painful medical ailments would make travel to Germany torturous.
Citing the need to act because of the possibility of Demjanjuk's imminent deportation, the court issued the stay without addressing the U.S. government's argument that the court had no jurisdiction to rule on Demjanjuk's appeal.
The government planned to continue its legal battle in court, said Justice Department spokeswoman Laura Sweeney.
Nishnic said the family was relieved the stay was granted.
"We're delighted. We're prepared to make our arguments with the 6th Circuit, and it's just a shame that Mr. Demjanjuk had to go through the hell that he went through once again this morning," he said as he walked into a federal building in Cleveland where Demjanjuk was being held.
Earlier Tuesday, Demjanjuk's wife, Vera, sobbed and held her hands to her mouth as immigration officers loaded his wheelchair into a van at their home. As the van moved down the street, Vera turned and waved, sobbing in the arms of a granddaughter.
Several family members, including a 10-year-old grandson, were in the home when the officers removed Demjanjuk.
Nishnic said Demjanjuk, a native of Ukraine, told his family, "I love you," in Ukrainian and was aware that the officers were there to take him to Germany.
Nishnic said his former father-in-law moaned in pain as he was placed in the wheelchair.
"It was horrendous. He was in such pain. I wouldn't want to see anyone go through something like that," said granddaughter Olivia Nishnic, 20.
John Demjanjuk Jr., who filed the appeal with the 6th Circuit earlier Tuesday, said the government hadn't lived up to earlier understandings of how his father would be removed.
"They told me that they would have an ambulance. They told me we would have three to five days' notice, and obviously you can't believe everything the government tells you," he told The Associated Press by phone while headed back to Cleveland from the federal appeals court in Cincinnati.
He predicted his father would not survive long enough in Germany to stand trial.
"If he is deported, if this madness and inhumane action is not stopped by the 6th Circuit, he will live out his life in a (German) hospital. He will never be put on trial," he said. "It makes absolutely no sense that the Germans, after nearly killing him in combat, would try to kill him once again."
The Nazi-hunting Simon Wiesenthal Center said it was undeterred.
"We remain confident that John Demjanjuk will be deported and finally face the bar of justice for the unspeakable crimes he committed during World War II when he was a guard at the Sobibor death camp," said Rabbi Marvin Hier, Wiesenthal Center founder.
"His work at the Sobibor death camp was to push men, women and children into the gas chamber. He had no mercy, no pity and no remorse for the families whose lives he was destroying forever," Hier said.
Deborah Dwork, a professor of Holocaust history at Clark University in Worcester, Mass., said the Demjanjuk case illustrates that there is no statute of limitations on the crime of genocide.
"The issue is holding him accountable, no matter what his age," she said.
Dwork said she believes German prosecutors acted cautiously and deliberately in bringing their case because they can't afford to run a weak trial. Germany's image in the eyes of the international community would be tarnished if Demjanjuk is acquitted, she said.
Demjanjuk, a native Ukrainian, has denied being a Nazi guard and claims he was a prisoner of war of the Germans. He came to the United States after the war as a refugee.
Demjanjuk had been tried in Israel after accusations surfaced that he was the notorious Nazi guard "Ivan the Terrible" in Poland at the Treblinka death camp. He was found guilty in 1988 of war crimes and crimes against humanity, a conviction later overturned by the Israeli Supreme Court.
A U.S. judge revoked his citizenship in 2002 based on Justice Department evidence showing he concealed his service at Sobibor and other Nazi-run death and forced labor camps.
An immigration judge ruled in 2005 he could be deported to Germany, Poland or Ukraine.
Ok my thoughts on this and it gonna piss some people off but when have I cared about that. I love history and read all I can about it I find Hitler very interesting and would have loved to speak with him to see if he was as crazy as people say he was. Back to this story John Demjanjuk I fell age has no limit on the crime he is accused of and I fell no matter what his health is he should be sent back to Germany to stand trail for this. His family I understand there feelings but what about the family members of the 29,000 he is accused of gassing to death. I don't think his age or health should be any reason not to send his wrinkle ass back to Germany to stand trail for these murders. His grand kids I feel sorry for they don't understand at all and I guess I wouldn't either if I didn't study history but someone needs to let them know 29,000 people women and kids in that number that he is accused of killing this can not be over looked. I'm sorry I have no symphony for the pain he felt when they removed him from his house I have none for him if they send him back to Germany or Poland and he never returns he should thank the good Lord above he lived to be 89 them people he marched into the gas chamber didn't get a choice. I'm sorry just people like him make me sick!
Well I went to the doctor today and I had to get a couple shots to boost my immune system it was low and if it don't pick up to about 4000 in a few days they want to stick me in the hospital. I am so tired of dealing with this sad part is I have to deal with it until I die. Being born a primary and not suppose to make it sure has been hell all my life. Enough of that cause it only makes me depressed and right now I don't need that it will only make things worse. I was laying in my bed this morning and looking over at my bookshelf and all the books I have and I was thinking how much I love to read and I'm and sure most of you like to read also I think we've talked about it before so I was thinking maybe ya'll have books sitting around that you have read and loved but now there just sitting around. So I came up with this idea about passing them along. How it would work is we make a list of books we have and post them and then we pick a couple and we mail them to each other what do you think of that idea? I looked online cause I thought about selling them but there not selling and if you put them in a yard sale they don't move either it's a shame really cause I have spent some good money on some of my books. But if we help each other by passing them on I think it would be great and it really won't cost much just postage. Most of my books are gay theme just so ya'll know just let me know what you think about the idea! Now I need to take some meds and gonna hit the bed soon!
I'm gonna give this book away to the first person that can answer these 2 questions. 1. What is my favorite Movie 2. Who is my favorite Singer
We made it home from a wonderful weekend but yesterday I started feeling sick and as the night went on I felt worse. Then this morning Kadin wanted to come back home but I just had to go do the beach thing thought if I'm gonna be sick then I'll be sick on the beach. Well let's just say the sun didn't help me I should have brought my ass home. Well Im home now and I'm gonna go lay down. How was ya'll Easter weekend? Later from Florida!
I think on my blog I haven't really talked about religion much there are many reason why I don't and much to the haters it has nothing to do with me being gay. When I was a little kid up to my teenage years my parents went to church. One day the preacher and some people called me and my parents end I think I have talked about this before but anyway they wanted to send me away to a place that would fix me. Yeah my Mom went off on them and we left the church and never return to this day talk to my Mom about a place that de-homo a person and she will go crazy on your ass. With saying that I want to say I have faith and I do believe I believe that God made me this way cause he wanted me like this I don't believe he mad a mistake when he made me or any other gay person it say's were made in his image and I think that say's it all. I also believe that maybe God making gay people is his way on controlling the population. See I think if people lived by the good book as it says we should there wouldn't be as many people on earth but since they don't he had to control it someone. See straight people ya'll just like us gays you like to fuck, fuck, fuck the only difference is ya'll aren't using condoms and next thing you know bam babies! I'm just saying! So yes I do believe I just don't believe you need to go to church to go to heaven and I believe that God loves me just the way I am and I also believe God is gonna send people like Fred Phelps straight to hell!Now Good Friday let's talk about this for a second love to hear your thoughts on this let me just throw this out there... Why is Good Friday Good? On the Friday before Easter Sunday Jesus Christ our Lord died on a Cross there was pain and suffering with his crucifixion and now we have Good Friday I ask again why is it good? More like maybe we should call it black Friday of bloody Friday something what do you think?Ok enough of the holy stuff how ya'll spending your Easter weekend? Me & Kadin gonna be hanging out at this nude event in south Florida should be fun who want's to see my penis? haha!!!!
Have a good weekend be safe have fun! Later from Florida!
Wow I was surprised by the comments from yesterday post and how many of you liked it and would also would have loved to go back and check the old west out! My next trip the only one to guess it was my friend Naomi from Here in the Hills the 40's there is so much that draws me to this era the car's the Hollywood movie stars the war just so much in that era not to leave out Nascar it was formed in 1948 I know hard to believe it's been around that long. The leaders of the world were just so neat back then seems like they all had ideas some of them bad but they still are interesting people. The Hollywood stars were stars back then nothing like the movie stars of today back then they were classy they kept there home life quite for the most part and people wanted more of them. I did find a book about gay life in the 40's it's called The Evening Crowd at Kirmser'sI check out what I could about it online it sounded so good I had to order it. I was thinking about using this book as something we could pass forward. How it would work after I read it I would pass it forward to the next person and they pass it on this would go on until all that wanted to read it did then the last person send it back to me maybe after you read if you have a blog you post aboutit if you dont have a blog maybe you could do a paper on it put it in the book and one of us that have a blog could post your thoughts on our blogs for ya. Let me know what you think about that idea not much more to say gonna let the pics speak!Later from Florida!
I thought I would do a couple posts on history not so much of telling ya'll about it but more like when I'm with friends and we talk about it. See couple of my friends and I have talked about if we could pick a time to go back to what time would we pick. That is hard for me cause I have 2 time periods that just makes me wish I could go back in time and check them out. So in this post I am gonna talk a little about one period then maybe next week of even tomorrow I will do a post on the other. The first is the Old West I don't know for sure what draws me to this period but something inside me would love to go back and live in that period. The cowboys the gunfighters the old west back then would be the new west. The clothes they were back then all the new and back then even places in the USA was new to many people. Could you even think packing up and moving west with your family in a horse & wagon? The gunfighters back then Wyatt Earp, Billy the Kid, Doc Holiday, Butch Cassidy just to name a few some good some bad but even the bad ones were cool. I think about being gay back then what it must be like there wasn't any niteclubs so wonder how people met up? You know it happen back then just makes me wonder how and where. I don't know just something about that time period get's me going and sure wouldn't mind going back and checking it out. I bet I could find some info online about gay life back then I'll look into that. How about you if you could go back where would you stop? Can you guess what other time period I would stop in?
Later from Florida!
Oh got say wayto go Vermontand Iowa! Happy Dance!!!!!!
Normally I don't work on Monday's just something I don't like doing but yesterday I did. See I was covering for someone on vacation and they have covered me many times when I was out sick so I return the favor. So it was like a Monday from hell seem like all the patients that came in were all pissed off from reason or another. Now I totally understand them having bad days life dealt them a shitty had and there dealing the best they can but it don't help the people that's trying to help them. Anyway Kadin called and said they ask him to work a double guess the flu is going around at the hospital and people called in sick. I say flu my ass it's Monday is why they called in. So with the day getting shitter as it went I was thinking about a nice rum and coke and karaoke at Detours so I ask a few people I worked with if there game for it.One girl was like I never been to a gay bar before I was like it's ok we don't bite hard unless you want us too! My Favorite Africa Queen (that's what she likes to be called) was like hell yeah I will go! So after worked we all met at my place and off we went to Detours for some Captain Morgan and Karaoke! Oh what a night we had I am so feeling it this morning and from the looks of my co-workers they are also haha! Damn when I sing bring me two pina coladas people it's a song and I don't need one for each hand. I swear at one point I had about 8 glasses of pina coladas sitting at the table. It was late when we got home we stop and had breakfast we was feeling all like super heroes last night thinking we could party all night and work this morning boy somewhere we lost are damn capes haha! Oh for the record if you see an Africa Queen with Diana Ross type hair in a G37 Coupe Blue in color tell her I want my car back haha!!!!!!
Waiting on Kadin to get home from work gonna watch Terminator The Sarah Conner Chronicles we don't have any plans for this weekend it's his weekend to work. I just got off the phone with my Brothers and I am missing them so much right now!
Ya'll got any plans for tonight or this weekend?
Later Peeps!
Oh the answer to my favorite shows were... Brothers & Sisters Terminator The Sarah Conners Chronicles
