This is kinda of a sad post in a way see this coming weekend I'm going over to Daytona for the race. Now there is nothing sad about that anytime I can hang with Reed I have a great time. The sad part is my folks have been here in Florida for a few months now well sense I had that car wreck. Well this coming weekend the family on my Mom's side is having a family reunion of some type and even though they invited my folks to come my Mom won't go. See before I came out to the world my Uncle did and I guess went through hell with the family over this.
He and my Mom has always been close and when I came out he was there for me. When I moved to Florida he was there for me a few houses down from mine but I knew he was a phone call away. Well he was kinda disowned from the family and when I can out they also disowned me. They wouldn't and still to this day let kids be alone around me or my Uncle they feel were gonna harm or turn them gay. Some family members said if I or my Uncle comes to the reunion they won't. It makes me sad that there so close minded and just stupid.
I told Mom I was going to Daytona and she should go it's her family and she hasn't seen all them in forever but she said if your not welcome or my Brother is not welcome then I'm not welcome. I love my Mom so very much she has always been there for me and my Uncle no matter what just makes me so mad that people are still this stupid. Reeds coming here on Tuesday I just bet he will have my folks come over to Daytona for the race so it will all work out. Just pisses me off even hurts more that it's family.Later!
My feelings on Gay Pride.I feel gay pride is needed and I feel until we have equal rights then we should have pride week and parades.I feel that every gay person should go to at least one pride event. I feel we owe it to the gay's before us that path the way some with there lives.I feel str8 people should come out and check pride week out maybe go to a parade. I believe if they did they would see all we want is to be treated equal.I believe in this "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness" When everybody believes in this then we will have the same rights.I believe in "Live and Let Live"I don't believe in Christian Organizations that preach hate. If I believe and I do believe the bible tells me that God made me from him and God don't make mistakes. I am not broke or sick I am the way I am cause God want's me this way.Christian people really does same sex marriage bother you that much really? How's does it really hurt you? Don't just throw up the bible says cause you already got that so screw up and only use parts to spew your hate. I think before you start worrying about us gays and are back yard clean up your own.Something I want you to think about this pride month. Giving yes I said giving in these hard times I have ran into a few people that was having a hard time I posted about it did what I could but I want you to think about something. Instead of giving to the big gay groups give to your local gay groups the ones that help the gay elderly or the ones that help local gays that lost there jobs or maybe a local gay group that work with gay youths. Please give what you can if its cash or maybe food or even better your time.This gay pride let us remember the example set by our LGBT ancestors. Let us remember it is the love that lives inside of us that compels our full self expression. We can love ourselves and our partners regardless of what the government or religious fundamentalists say. this pride let us celebrate the light that shines on humanity when we allow our greatest truth and our greatest love to flow freely. In this political climate it would have been easy to hate myself, even take my own life as too many young LGBT people still do. However my inner experience of unconditional love was greater than my internalized homophobia. That inspired me to embrace my personal truth and uniqueness even before I knew I was gay. I believe that many of my lgbt brothers and sisters would also say that it is self love that empowers our community to collectively remain steadfast in our truth. Never forget the ones that died so we could carry are rainbows flags! For me in my time I carry the flag for Matthew Shepard!HAPPY PRIDE! This is an Awesome song listen 2 it!
My good friend Ryan Field has a new book out called Take Me Always. Ryan is a great author and his books well once you start reading them you can't stop. I know you think just cause he's a friend I would say like that but for those that know me know I say what I feel friend or not I tell it like it is. Ryan pour so much into his books you feel it on every page and I love one of the names he uses in this book!
Kadin Mahoney is ten years older than his lifelong partner, Gregory. But when Gregory is diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease and winds up in a nursing home, Kadin decides to move there with him in spite of the fact that Gregory doesn't even recognize him. His three children aren't happy about this and his friends think he's crazy. But Gregory is the love of Kadin's life, and he's not going to let him slip away without a struggle.
So he conceives a plan to help him remember their passionate, sexy past. With the help of a notebook computer and a personal blog, he begins telling him the story of two good-looking young men who fell in love with each other during the l950's in Savannah. One is a recent college graduate, and the other is a thirty-year-old lawyer and divorced father of three. They meet by accident at the movies the day Kadin's divorce is finalized, and wind up spending a full summer together engaged in every act of true love that is humanly possible.
But it all comes to an abrupt halt in mid-August, when Gregory's family begins to suspect his forbidden feelings for Kadin. They drag him back to Atlanta early, where he enlists in the army to get even. Five years later, Kadin has moved on with his life and Gregory is engaged to be married. But Gregory sees Kadin on TV, and he goes back to Savannah one more time before the wedding. He only wants to find out what happened to Kadin, but the moment he arrives his clothes come off and their lives are never the same again.
This is a story with a happy ending. It's about true love between two strong, passionate men that survives all the odds society and family have placed upon them. They do it with restrained dignity in public, but in private they share unbelievable, monogamous sex that leaves them both satisfied for the rest of their lives
I'll have a post soon just enjoying life and my brothers not gonna let people bring me down. I decided not to post on people that mean nothing too me. Hope Ya'll are having a wonderful day and a wonderful evening.
Chuck & Martin thanks so much got your books in the mail today. I really needed that when I was feeling that friends were all fake. Thanks again guys!
I'll have a post soon! For those that don't have facebook and don't know what's going on.
Oh went to the doctor today for a check up on my knee and leg he like the way it's healing now and want's me to start therapy on Thursday should be fun with the nuts and bolts in there haha!
We spent most of the day at the beach damn it was hot out even the warm was warm. It felt good just really warm. There were a lot of hot guys that omg boner city! I think sunglasses are such a great thing haha! How was your weekend so far?
So much crazy going on in this world I know I was hard on Obama for not doing something sooner about gay rights. Now I read this morning about North Korea threats towards the United States and its allies if we provoked them. This Kim Jong II sounds like to me he trying to start the 3rd world war and he's wanting to hand over his leadership to his 26 year old son and what I found out about him he's just as crazy as his dad. I jumped on Obama about gay rights thinking he didn't have anything going on when it's clear he got more going on then we all know. I'm not saying he shouldn't do something about gay rights cause he needs too I also read earlier he's extending benefits to same-sex partners of federal employees that's a start and we need more but I say you have to start somewhere. My thing is if we don't do something about this crazy Kim Jong and North Korea we won't have to worry about rights gay or straight with a world war not many will be left anyway. Thing I don't understand is why we all can't get along? Why is there all this hate for another country? I believe in my heart that we all could get along we could respect each other all we need to do is be open minded and talk is that so hard? Maybe I'm reading too much into this but it worries me.The doctor said yesterday he was hoping my leg would be doing better with the rods and pins but just not healing like he would like so he said. So he want's me for now to stay off of it for a week as much as I can. He stopped all therapy for a week wants me to stay out of the hot tub and just rest it. So this week looks like a lot of sleeping for me. I've got a few emails I wanted to answer first was asking me what brings on my depression? I wish I knew most the time when I wake up it's there sometimes it just comes it's hard to explain it just happens. Another question I been getting from my nudist friends or people just wanting to see me naked haha is where and when will I be doing my next nudist thing. I wish I knew that I do it here at home all the time but next event I'm not sure it depends on the leg healing. Me & Kadin both want to do some nude camping this summer and early fall so I'm hoping soon.
Thanks about it for me if you have any question just email me and I'll answer them. Later!
Most of you that read my blog know that I have been fighting depression for like every. I don't know why it comes and goes with me but it does. I've taken my meds but sometimes I feel they don't work. Sometimes I just want to hide in the corner and just cry.
We are heading to the airport going home finally! I think this trip has been good for many reasons. First it help me and dad work things out get back on the same page. Second it also fix things with me and Kadin I think some of you knew we were having issues. Being away from each other made us both realize how much we love each other. So I know your reading this Kadin Baby I'm on my way back to your arms! Later!
Dinner with dad last night was great I think it was overdue and needed very much. Most gay boys are close to there moms than the dads this is true for me. It seem like there was always something just not right with me and dad always a distance it seemed. When I was a boy he would try to play with me but he would get upset if I cried and he would say man up boy. I remember this maybe it infected me as a teen I don't know but I remembered. I also would remember he would tell mom stop babying him your gonna make a sissy out of him. Ya'll know the story about me and birth coming too soon and not suppose to make it I think mom did baby me too much. I was her gift and was her only one she could never have more.
Your thinking what about your brother & sister those that have read my blog for the past 5-1/2 years know the answer to this question. I also think it has hurt are relationship don't get me wrong I love my brother & sister but when it all went done it wasn't a pretty thing. Now I am so glad that I have them and would die for them. I use to think maybe the feelings I had about me and dad not close had something to do with him being from England but I drop that after spending many of summers over there with my grandparents. I found out that he wasn't close with his father either and they fought all the time.Of course after I came out things between me and him became more apart then ever before. But after talking to him last night I come to understand a lot and I understand he loves me and being didn't change that. I think he realize how much I was hurt over him leaving me and mom for a while and finding out about siblings he didn't know how much that hurt until last night. I also realize it's been him telling mom to let the chains loose a little. I finally see how much he loves me and what he wants for me and realize I am a brat but I'm his brat. There was just so much we talked about most of it I really just want to keep to myself coz it meant so much to me though I did want to share a little with ya!
I guess either people are strapped for cash or people just don't like to read. I didn't get many hits on read it forward. I have a few people interested in it. Also my buddy Ryan Field is going to be apart of it and will have a list of books. I know money is tight but postage is all that your paying and really not paying that cause you get a book back. Anyway if your interested let me know. Also anybody have To Kill a Mockingbird and want to trade for one of my books or just want to send it to me let me know cause if not I'm gonna order it on amazon.com.
First off before I talk about what I want to talk about let me say nextel/sprint and blackberry are totally sucking today and there new curve I'm about ready to curve it right into the Atlantic Ocean I feel better now. I want to talk about the book thing I talked about before my accident. I was calling it read it forward what it is I tell what books I have and then you pick one and I'll mail it to you and then you give me a list of what you have and I'll pick one and you mail it to me. The only money were out is a small few for shipping but really not even out that because it really balances out. I talked to a few people about this and they like the idea so I was thinking maybe if we start a new blog and all those that are in favor of doing this we could all join the blog and post what books we have and then we could pick and choose what we want just going to a library. The only way this will work is if we have enough people that would like to do it so email me or leave a comment here and let me know what you think. If there is enough of us I will start the blog and then send invites out to those that want to join it.
Here is a list of books I have that are ready I have many more just need to get them listed.
1. The World of Normal Boys 2. Crushed 3. Willow Bend 4. Tale of Two Summers 5. A Better Place 6. Under the Big Sky 7. The Moralist 8. Daddy's Little Boy 9. Embrace the Rain 10. Brendan Wolf 11. Queer as Folk (never tear us apart) 12. Queer as Folk (every nine seconds) 13. Strings Attached 14. Into This World Were Thrown 15. Desert Sons 16. Common Sons 17. A Secret Edge 18. A Son Called Gabriel 19. The Boys and the Bees 20. The Tin Star 21. Someone is Watching 22. Leave Myself Behind 23. Fingering the Family Jewels 24. Metes and Bounds 25. The Boy in the Book 26. What We Do is Secret
Later today me & Dad are flying up to Savannah this will be my first real test on flying with my leg and the metal pins and rods should be fun. Yesterday Dad got a call from a Hollywood producer asking if he would be interested in renting out the beach house said there making a movie on the island and our beach house is what they have in mind for using for the movie how cool huh? So later today were flying up there so he can talk to them and work out the money details I guess. My Sister is really sike out coz if it works out she will get to meet one of her idols. We will be back here in Florida Friday so it will be a quick trip Dad ask me to go with him kinda surprised me I think me saying yeah I'll go with him was a bigger surprise. Anyway I need to get off here and get some things done before we leave. Got an email yesterday from my friend Gomad ya'll should check out his blog also just click on his name. Anyway he sent me this link to a video on youtube said he thought it would do more good on my blog. So please watch the video it has a very good point. ThanksGomad!
I was reading this morning and I'm sure many bloggers will write about this today but I have to put my 2 cents in on it. Cleve Jones is planning a march on Washington Oct the 11th that will coincide with National Coming Out Day. I really don't have a problem so much with this I have said the last few weeks about being unhappy about change we voted for and haven't seen anything yet. But I have to say I think in these times this is a bad idea I know people will show up but some people just can't afford to do this. I think there is other ways of getting your point across and a wiser way to spend money than doing a march. When the people that own them motels around that area find out about a march there gonna jack the prices up higher than they already are. I just think all the money spent can be use for the cause in a better way than a march. Don't get me wrong sometimes marches are a good thing and sometimes they must be but I just don't think this is the right thing this time. Now I think what Cleve Jones has in mind is a great idea just bad timing. I like the fact he's not scared to call out The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints them people are a big problem and need to be put in check besides there just weird. I know not all is gonna agree with me and it's ok this is just my opinion. Check out the story here 365.com Ok I got a few emails asking when I was going to my next nudist thing and where was it going to be? At this point until my leg heals up I'm just not sure. But you can catch nude daily by the pool or hot at my house! No peeking over the fence!
I know for those that have followed my blog for the past 5 years remember me talking about my childhood and it being not so good when it comes to school and classmates. I was always the one pick on or being made fun of coz of hearing aids, glasses, braces ya name it and I got picked on or beat up. I didn't like school much even through high school I didn't care for it even though in high school things were better. Reason for me writing about this and bringing up old wounds again is there were always a few people that went an extra mile to make my life a little better back then.
This post is for my elementary school bus driver Janet I found out yesterday she passed away. When I was in first grade I was being bullied on her bus and she seen what was going on and she stop the bus and stopped them boys and moved me right behind her and from that day on it was my seat. She used to tell me that I was the cutest little boy and was gonna be very special man someday. She always seem to try to build my ego up and when I was having a bad day she knew and always cheered me up.
I remember when she was driving there was this road that the bus would drive over and it had a bump in it and the boys would be in the back and when she hit that bump the kids would jump off there seat from the bump and I could see them in the mirror and it always looked like fun. She must have seen me looking at them and when everyone off the bus one day she went down that road again stop the bus and looked at me and said go sit back there and she went down that road and hit that bump and I went off my seat and in the air and it was so fun. She did that a lot for me I didn't know why then until years later when I seen her at a store and I told her thanks so much for making things easy for me.
I stayed in touch with her and just talked with her about a month ago. I knew she was sick I told her I would love to see her but she knew I was dealing with shit also. Her husband called and told us she passed away Friday. He's not having services coz they didn't have any kids. So I want to say on here Janet thank you for being my friend thanks for all you did for me and for being there. Janet you made my so unhappy childhood a little better and I want to thank for that. When it's my time to meet you again I want you to pick me up in the yellow school bus. I love you Janet rest now your work on earth is done.
Something I don't talk about much on here is my sister. Main reason why is I want to protect her. I feel girls need more protecting on the net than boys. I know not true but my way of thinking. Anyway I haven't but talked about her on here only a few times. Reason I am today cause this kinda involves her and some other family members. Now my sister she what they call a tween and much as I love her she can be a little nerve racking get her and her friends together and all that giggling and scream yeah ya feel me. I am so tired of Miley Cyrus, Jonas Brothers, Zack & Cody and all them that is all she talks about. She has most of there stuff like any girl her age would or should have. She has the videos, CDs, jewelry, t-shirts bedroom stuff. Like I said everything a tween girl needs or wants to be cool.
Yesterday my uncle on my mom side stop in for a visit. He and his family is here in Florida on vacation. My mom is from Florida for those that didn't know. Kinda explains why I moved here huh? Anyway my uncle and his family stops over when they find out my mom is here. I haven't seen them in a few years myself was looking forward to seeing them he always seem like a nice guy to me and never treated me any different unlike some of the rest of my family. He has 3 kids 14, 9, 6 two boys and a girl the middle. I haven't seen the kids I think since the youngest was born. Mom always told me her brother was a good guy but was a little strange and strict. She said it was his being in the military that made him that I think that had something to do with it along with his father but that's another story.
Well the kids were well behave and very polite. Almost like they were scared to move or touch anything. Of course around me that shit anit gonna fly. I told them come on let the adults talk and took them into the family room. In there we have so much fun stuff like any family room would have least I would think. Playstations, Xbox ya know all the fun stuff. They were like lost in headlights my brothers took over with the boys asking them if they wanted to play video games and can you believe this they youngest has never played and the older boy said he's played at his friends house. They don't own a video game wtf? Then my sister came up to me and told me that my niece loves Hanna Montana but owns nothing of hers. I am ok this is way 2 weird for me.
Me being the out spoken person I am. I had to go out and ask my uncle what the deal was. So the adults was in the kitchen when I hobble my way in there. He started asking me about the wreck and all. I was nice answer the questions and such then it was my turn. I was like how come you don't have an xbox? How come my niece don't own any Hanna Montana stuff why don't she have a Jonas Brothers t-shirt? How come you kids act like robots you mean or something? Course my dad is like Ryan! I am like what? So I look back at him waiting for the answers to my questions. So he said it's ok he would answer it. He said he works to hard for his money to give it to some kid star that will either piss or drug it away. Ya know what I told him it was a copout. I said you can do what you want with your money it's yours but making your kids go without just coz you worried about what these stars are gonna do with it just crazy.
Personally I think it's stupid. If you don't have the money is one thing but when you do is another. I'm not saying spoil the kids hell my parents did that 2 us and we love them for it. But making them do without that anit right. Well you know my siblings hook are kinfolk up. They had some old gameboys and my sister gave up some of her stuff and them kids were so happy. Mom didn't know she said that when she sent them Christmas gifts she always sent clothes and books and stuff she said that's what her brother said they wanted. From now on mom gonna talk with them and she what they really want. Now I'm not mad at my uncle or is he mad at us there coming over today for a cookout I just don't understand his thinking is all. Hell who knows if he gives me a few days I might change his way of thinking. Come on uncle take me to the international mall there is a diesel store there and there's this pair of jeans I want they only cost 175.00 bucks! Besides the diesel salesman is super hot!!!!
As most of you know I am dealing with a lot shit right now in my life. After the car wreck seems like I have a lot on my plate and the smallest things just set me off. I know this a problem and I am trying to deal with it the best that I can. If I have snap or bit anybody's head off I'm sorry I know I'll get thru this and it will be a stone in life and a lesson I learned. Also I want to talk about the wreck and what lead up 2 it but you have to wait on that when I'm ready. I will tell the story it needs to be told it might help someone else not 2 make the same mistake but I'm just not ready yet. I am seeking help and it's not for the drinking as many thought I do not have a drinking problem. I went to a doctor and consoler for that and they also agreed I didn't have a drinking problem so pass me the captain morgan dammit!Let me touch on a few news topics that kinda pising me off a little. Chinese buying Hummer from GM. Who the hell cares it's a gas hog anyway let them buy it maybe they can make it run better and not suck the fuel down. I was watching the news last night and people were so made over this I was like who gives a shit if it's costing GM money then let it go. Next is Obama going over to these Muslims country's just a few things on this I feel this is a waste of time and I don't feel it's should be on the top of the list. I also don't think there giving Americans much credit thinking were misapprehend about the Muslim world. Were not we understand clearly the problem is Al-Qaeda Islamic terrorism and Iran. Next is Jon & Kate I think there just playing games with America they were losing viewers and they knew what they were doing look 5 million viewers there little game worked they will be getting paid. Any of you watch that I'm a Celebrity Get me out of here? Spencer & Heidi Pratt are they for real? Is anybody that conceited and full of themselves there acting right? If not well all I can say is hate them!!! Later!
Ryan, I know right now you feel like your father and I are as you say "all over you". I also know the only thing that you been listening to is your music. I want you to listen to this and then maybe you will understand how we feel. Just remember my special angel that I love you always and forever. Mom
I'll have something for ya'll tomorrow got a busy day there doing some more work on my leg and knee some screws and shit. Anyhoo just checking in haven't posted anything in a few days thought I should put something up. So tell me how was your weekend? Better than mine I bet least you didn't have parents up your ass. Hello I'm an adult now I made a mistake I paid for it can I just go on with my life now!
Later!
Later!
Ok I got a few emails asking when I was going to my next nudist thing and where was it going to be? At this point until my leg heals up I'm just not sure. But you can catch nude daily by the pool or hot at my house! No peeking over the fence!
