Sorry the posts have been few and far I knew something would be put on the back burner. It's been a crazy, busy but so much fun a couple of weeks. This will be my last post of this year I just know I won't have time to get back on here. I have a house full and love it. My friend came in yesterday to join us for New Year's celebration. Last night though he got trashed drop a un open bottle of beer on my tile floor. Oh you know what happen then yep broke and glass and bud light all over the kitchen. The house smelled like beer well that is the holiday smell right? haha I feel so bad for him he has so much on his mind and not much I can do to help other than be there for him and that's what I will do. Mom & Dad get back today and I know she will be going to the store getting things for the New Year's Eve party and the day after football party snacks. I think she told me they have friends coming in from Atlanta. Yep I have a house full like I said I love it. I know Sunday everybody will be gone and the house will be so empty. Well thanks for a great year I know I can always count on you my blogging buddies. Happy New Year be safe and come back next year for another round of me Ryan's Life!
I have to say I had a wonderful Christmas. I miss Mom & Dad being here but having the boys here was great. I got my new laptop woo hoo! Other than that got the normal stuff clothes, shoes still not sure why people buy me clothes I do wear them but not enough to have new ones haha. Now shoes I love shoes for some reason and have a closet full of them. Christmas Day we all were lazy we just laid around watched TV. It was what everyone wanted to do so that's what we did. I hope ya'll had a wonderful Christmas. Mom & Dad will be back Wednesday just in time for New Years. I don't think were doing much having a few people over some family & friends. How about ya'll got any New Year's Eve plans?
Oh one thing over the weekend we went to my Uncles house for dinner. He got out the old photos albums and we sit around looking back in time and laughing. This was a blast he had some of the same photos as Mom does but he had some she didn't and them were the best. He had a pic of me I was like maybe 4 or 5 that everyone got a kick out of I was dancing and singing Cher "If I could turn back time" least he said I was I don't remember but it sounds right. I was doing something else in the pic but I'm not gonna say on here. I was gonna put the pic on here after we scanned it but decided not a good idea because of what I was doing in the pic. I tell you what my readers my loyal been with me forever readers want to see the pic I'll send it to you. This only goes for my true loyal readers and you know who you are.
So just send me an email and ask to see the pic and I'll show you. I have to admit its cute as can be and a few people already seen it will agree it's adorable. So you loyal fans of mine haha send me and email.
Last night we decided at the last second to head downtown to the street fair. What the do is take main street and a block of it and shut it down at 5pm until 3am. They have vendors and bands people selling stuff and Santa Claus just all kinds of fun stuff for a semi small town. Anyway after dinner the boys decided they wanted to go we were just going to let them go but Kadin was like we should go too. So off we went to the street fair. It was really cool all decorated up for Christmas had a Santa land for the kids coffee cart with hot coco. The air had a bite in it so felt more like Christmas than anytime this year.
I was like so in the Christmas spirit seeing all the kids having fun with Santa and people just happy. Now if we could bottle this feeling up and sell it. Just like anywhere else just takes one idiot to screw things up right? I was overcome with joy I was holding Kadin's hand while the Christmas music was playing and watching the kids in Santa land. This lady said to us you boys are on the highway to hell. Kadin said excuse me what did you say? The lady said your on the highway to hell. I knew what she was talking about Kadin didn't get it at first until she went into preaching and bashing us for being gay.
There were some other people standing where we were that heard what was going on. The one that bother me was this big dude look like he was 6'6 maybe 300 pounds big leather jacket on biker type. This guy scared the shit out of me when he spoke up I was getting ready to run and pull Kadin with me when he look at that lady and told her to shut the fuck up that them boys are not hurting you or anybody. A few other people spoke up and said basically the same thing. Ok me and Kadin both in shock by this point these people were taking our part. Now don't get me wrong there was a few on her side too.
When it was over I ask the big dude if we could buy him a cup of coffee. He told us no said he just don't like people like that. He told us he believes in live and let live and we didn't do anything wrong. Wish more people were like him. He then said don't worry about sister christian that she's just confused cause were all on the highway to hell just up to make a turn before we get there. I was damn this big dude made a great point and I just had to blog about it. So I ask ya'll wanna ride on that highway to hell with me? I promise I'll make a turn before we get all the way there!
AC/DC Said it best...... Living easy, living free Season ticket on a one-way ride Asking nothing, leave me be Taking everything in my stride Don't need reason, don't need rhyme Ain't nothing I would rather do Going down, party time My friends are gonna be there too I'm on the highway to hell
Last night me and Kadin had a speaking engagement with a youth group. This was Kadin's first time and I have done it before a few times mainly in the Atlanta area once at Atlanta Pride and for the Trevor Project in Miami. This was special it was for local kids and normally helping kids in my own town I don't get to do much. The group is called Face to Face and its for LGBT kids one of the members of the board I know and she has been such a wonderful lady. She also knows about this blog and has told the kids there about my blog. When she ask last month if me and Kadin would come and speak at the Christmas party I was like sure we will do it. Kadin is a shy type and takes a while before he normally opens up I was a little worried about him and being able to talk with these kids.
When we got there they ask us to talk a little about growing up gay having like my parents that totally was cool about and Kadin's that said they were but had issues and how there getting better now. They ask if I mind talking about my dui and the wreck talk about me and Kadin and our love. Then if we didn't mind they would have the kids ask some questions. Well I started with the blog and growing up and being bullied and getting beat up for being what they thought was different. I talk about the wreck and the drinking and how dumb it was show them my scars from the new terminator knee I never let anyone see that ugly part of me but thought it would help them. Kadin talk about being in the closet for years and hiding ex boyfriends so he didn't disappoint his parents. He talked about suicide. This took me by surprise I never knew he had never told me he thought about that before.
I should have know I think that every teen gay kid thinks about it. I know I did it crossed my mind a few times but I just knew that wasn't the answer. Then we open it up to questions and man the question. There were the typical question where we meet, how long we been together, how long we lived together. Had a few ask if we were going to get married what did we think about the marriage laws. The one that took us both by surprise was the sex questions mainly asking about anal and if we used condoms. These kids are from 12 to 18 mainly these kids were like 14 to 16 that came and asking about anal and protection. It scared me that most of them said they have unprotected sex. That to me is just so scary I have done this in the past myself but not just meeting someone I make sure that I'm going to be with this person for a long time. Me and Kadin have unprotected sex but we didn't when we first met. With all the knowledge kids are still putting themselves at risk I don't get it.
Real quick I want to give a special thanks to Charles from the Trevor Project for all his support and the pamphlets and stuff he sent to help me with this speaking engagement. If you can show them some support they do great work.
Ok been a while since I wrote any poems but today while we were out shopping me and Dad went in one direction and Mom & Kadin went in another. We were going to meet up at the food court. I don't know how any of your fathers are but mine goes gets what he wants and he's done. He don't look around check other things out gets what he wants and get the hell out. So we were like done 15 minutes after we got there so we decided to go get a coffee and people watch. We were sitting there for like an hour or longer a few cups of coffee later I saw this guy walking with my Mom. I was just looking at this guy and thinking he is the most beautiful person I have ever seen. They walk up to us and I hear this voice saying my name I come out of my daze and this guy I was looking at was Kadin. Sometimes I forget home lucky I am to have him not only in my life but as my partner my lover my life. I had this poem come to my head when I got home I had to write it done so I decided I would share it.
I wonder what you see when you look in a mirror? I know when I look at you I see beauty. I wonder what you see when you look in a mirror? I see love looking back at me. I wonder what you see when you look in a mirror? I see kindness, caring, a warm heart. I wonder what you see when you look in a mirror? I see my future my life. When you look in the mirror Kadin I hope you see. Everything in this life I would love to be.
I normally don't watch Oprah not that I don't like her but just not my thing I guess. Yesterday when I came home from work she was on the TV. Nobody was watching it Ty just had the TV on for noise I guess. I sat down and started watching her and she had people on that has been through hell one way or the other. A couple who had survive a plane crash. The story that got me was a couple from Florida that took over the care of step kids that her parents were killed. The parents that were killed had 12 adopted kids some of whom have special needs. The story can be found here Couple who adopted 12 children slain. Now back to my point is Oprah was asking about the money how they took care of these kids. The lady said it was hard but there doing it cause her mom would have wanted it that way. I'm sorry but Oprah has a ton of cash why but up the website ask people to give when she could have said I'm going to give you a couple million to help. We all know that a couple million isnt anything to her. Maybe she did give I don't know but she is big on giving things away and taking credit for it why not do it again for this couple. Just struck me wrong I guess if she did I'm sorry I'm not trying to trash her.
Got an interesting email yesterday every now then I get one and decide to answer it on here instead of email. This is a really good question that I want to answer publicly. The writer ask me if I ever get mad when I see other blogs that have a lot of followers and a lot of comments? To be honest no it don't bother me at all. When I first started blogging when I was 15 I had a ton of people that left comments didn't have followers back then you had to link people or they would link you. I soon learn that the reason these people were linking me or leaving comments they were trying to get my clothes off. Some worked hard others just ask out right. Guess that's why I didn't my brother to blog. Then there was others that said I was fake that went on for about 3 years. Prove them wrong also and they went away after a while. Then the haters either of me personally or the fact I was gay after a while they went away also. So over the years I have a lot of commenter's over the years they come they go. To be honest I would rather have a small loyal crowd following and commenting then a large crowd coming for maybe nudes pics or something like that. Right now I can say my readers and commenter's are very loyal some have been here from day one. I know these people feel safe with these people and I will take that over a 1000 followers or commenter's anyday. Hope that answer the question.
This is something I don't understand we have the ability and the technology but in some cases we don't use it. This is one of those cases there is a man here in Florida that has been sitting in prison for 35 years for a crime he didn't commit. Back when he was convicted I would say the system may have did it's job they didn't have DNA testing back then. He was picked out of a line up and was sentence to life in prison. Back then I would say everything work to the best of there ability. But now we have DNA what's wrong with if you still have evidence do testing make sure you have the right person. James Bain and his lawyers have been asking for the 8 years for the samples that the police had to be tested. A judge denied the request each time until July he granted it and Mr Bain was found innocence wasn't his sperm on the underwear of the boy that was raped. Read the full story here Dna Exonerate Man.
My point is DNA isn't it suppose to free the innocence and convict the guilty? Then why isn't this a law all over America? I'm sure there are people sitting in jail right now that didn't do what they been found guilty of. Just like I'm sure there are people walking around that need to be in jail. I don't know about having everyone submit a DNA but then again I'm not sure that would be a bad idea either. First I think we need to start with those in jail and free the innocence. Then we could work on the rest. 35 years this man sit in prison just to find out he was telling the truth. He's 54 years old now prime of his life gone never get it back. What do you say oh sorry. This just don't seem right and sad part is they haven't cut him lose yet maybe by Christmas they say. 54 what's he going to do it will be hard for him to find a job should the state have to pay him until he dies maybe not a bad idea. I don't know but I know this something has to change we have the ability why don't we use it?
UPDATE... Mr Bain was released today free and clear of everything. The State of Florida also pays 50,000 a year for every year for anyone in prison that was there wrongly. That means Mr Bain will get about 1.75 million still don't give him back the 35 years he sit in prison. Least he's free now.
What a crazy weekend never thought I would be running up to Atlanta spending the night and coming right back home. We went up to get my brother after talking with my parents we decided it might be best he come on down a week early. It was cold up there I don't miss that at all was so happy to get back home where it was 80 degrees yesterday. I know I am rubbing it in your face all you with cold and snow weather. Sorry but hey I deal with hurricanes. Mom had so many things planned I didn't think we would get it all done in one night but you know how Moms are. I think we got maybe 4 hours of sleep before someone woke us up ready to go. We got back and the sun was out and it was warm we decided to lay out for a while and sip on some bloody marys we all fell a sleep laying in the sun thank God it wasn't hot enough to burn. Kadin don't have to go in until 11 so he will be here with Ty for a while not sure what time he will be up not even sure what time he went to bed. This should be a good week though it was nice peeking in his room seeing him sleeping I use to do that when I lived at home.
So everyone got there shopping done? So funny how this turn into such a money holiday isn't it? Last week we watched a couple old movies and how Christmas use to be. I know we all heard stories from our elders and how the holiday was back then wouldn't it be great to go back and celebrate Christmas like that. Don't get me wrong the lights and everything are beautiful but I think it would be great to go and cut down a tree and makes things to hang on it heck maybe next year I'll do that have an old fashion Christmas. Thanks everyone that has sent me cards so far I hope everyone got the one's I sent out. I know it's only cards but I cherish everyone I got just taking your time to send them to me is great. I got to get ready for work I'll check out the blogs later when I get caught up at work.
Later!
This is one of my favorite lady singers and this is one of my favorite Christmas songs.
Sorry I haven't posted in a few days been dealing with some family issues. Now were on our way to Atlanta I know long story. We will only be there for the night and Sunday morning headed back. Somebody is getting an early break it will be cool to see the house all decorated.
With the hustle of Christmas many of us over things we don't do it on purpose just this time of year we all do it. So I want to but a reminder out there. There are many charities that need help this year. There are many families out of work that could use a little help if you know any of these people buy an extra toy for there kids or food for the family. If you don't know any think about maybe toys for totsdown here they have barrels at most the banks. I also here that all NFL football games this weekend the Marine's will be there collecting toys. All these are good things but don't forget the animals. This my favorite thing to do is help the animals in shelters ya'll know I am a animal lover so helping them is what I like doing. It can be real easy if you have old blankets that you don't use and gonna throw out anyway drop them off at your local shelter. This time of year in the north where it's cold and snowy they could use the blankets. Maybe when your out shopping pick up a few toys or a bag of food drop them off. Cash always works well also and trust me you will feel good about yourself. I tell ya I believe in this so much you know these stars that pose semi nude for peta to make a point I would do that hell I would do it totally nude if it save an animal I believe in it that much. You can click on any of these cute pics and it will take you to a site so you can help if you can a couple is in my town where I go and help one is in Tampa and 2 are national. Let me say thanks for those that help!
First day on the job was great I think I'm gonna like it. Had to learn there system but it wasn't hard and they were surprised on how fast I learned and what I knew. I have to credit that to working with Mom at her business back home. They were really happy that I was there on time honest half an hour early I even had coffee ready when the others showed up. Another good thing is they don't mind if you check your email or social networks as long as your work is done and there's no customers. Speaking of the hot guys coming in and out damn I love the construction workers haha.
All the people that work there are very cool and don't have an issue with gay people there are a couple that work there besides me. A women and a man both have partners so there is no issues with being gay and that's a plus. Working at a plus where you can't be yourself is always good I don't mean you throw it in people's faces that to me is rude but you don't have to hide it either if someone ask you have a girlfriend and I can say no I have a boyfriend. That is the way it should be all over just think if people live and let live how wonderful a world this would be.
This brings me to another topic on a blog I seen yesterday I'm not gonna name it for this blogger is one of my favorites and we always say were siblings from a different mother cause we think so much a like. It was a comment on this blog and one commenter say something was so gay I don't know if they meant it as a joke or what I'm sure it wasn't meant as hate. Either way saying it was wrong no matter how it was meant I said something about it and another commenter was like gay isn't a bad thing I agree it's not but saying something is so gay is a bad thing. It hurts people feelings and young gay people come hear this and it can do damage. So people just stop it saying something is so gay is not cool haven't you seen the commercials on TV about it?
Here in a little bit I'll be heading off to start my new job. A little nervous yeah but I know I'll do fine. Yesterday after I got home from a little shopping I was tired so I decided to take a nap when I woke up from my nap I felt really bad. I am feeling a little better today but still feel like something wrong not 100%. Can't really tell what it is just tired not flu like tired like I normally get. Anyway I am excited about work and hope I like it as much as I think I will. Got most of my shopping done just need to pick up a few things. I am holding off on getting a new laptop. Oh some of you that don't follow me on facebook don't know what happen.
My laptop crash on Friday and it won't start back up not sure what happen its not that old maybe a year and a half but it had vista and I've had troubles with it from day one. It's a toshbia so I don't know if its a maker problem or a vista problem or both. It ask for a password when it try's to start and it's never had a password I call toshbia and did everything they told me and still no luck they told me to send it in or take it to a repair shop well I can't do that most of you know why. So Saturday I ask Kadin to use his it ended up in an ugly fight I was gonna go out and buy a new one but my Aunt called wanted to have lunch normally when she wants to do this is cause Mom called her and I was right. Mom wants to get me one for Christmas so I'm using my old one that is slow very slow. That was my weekend so I need to get ready for work hope it goes well.
We must never forgot what this day means in history. December 7, 1941 Many Americans lost there lives and that can never be forgotten ever! National Geographic on Pearl Harbor.
I wasn't gonna say anything about this but since my brother is in a pissy mood and cussing people out let me take the time to cuss out the right wing southern baptist idiots also abc & the fcc. They give in to people calling crying because Adam Lambert was kissing a boy, touched his crotch, dragged two male dancers around at the award shows. For real people this upsets you this is America things are changing and you bible thumping people can’t stop it. So they call the fcc then they call abc then they cancel two of Adams gigs he had booked with them. Do you think Adam cares? Hell no he don’t the more they ban him the more we want to see him so you Southern baptist assholes keep bitching to whoever will listen the fcc right now cause your losing a fight you can’t win and your putting a ton of cash into a gay mans pocket. What dicks abc giving into pressure I know they have some good shows but if we the gay community would stand up and stop watching all of abc shows and write them telling them why they would see there is more of us than them. This would be hard for me to stop watching abc desperate housewives, brothers & sisters and v is on that channel but if we all do it I think they would get the point then again maybe not. Personal note I don't care for Adam's music not my cup of tea I'm defending his music or screaming I am defending his right to freedom of speech and dance. Today's Christmas song.
I had another post in my mind had it all wrote out and everything something told me to go and read my baby bro's blog. Not sure if any of you have read it but I was going to comment on it and decided I would do my comment right here. Ty I know what it's like to be your age and I know you want your freedom but you have to understand it's my job to look out for you. I also know how mean and cruel the net can be. Living proof if you will most of my readers that have stuck it out with me also can testify. Mom and Dad give you a lot of freedom they don't stop you from looking at whatever you want what parents would let there kids look at porn or whatever. Most parents won't let there teenager have a computer in there rooms hell dude you have a laptop. I do understand and I know you would never post anything that we wouldn't approve of to Be honest with you Ty I don't read your blog everyday for the main reason I want you to have your freedom I can't speak for Dad. All I can say is your short fuse yes that needs working on won't get you far blogging if its not for you then walk away you want your freedom to speak without me or Dad seeing when you get here in a few weeks then we will make that happen. Most of all Ty I love you more than life and don't want to go to jail for killing somebody that hurt you. I am not and will not every apologize for loving you caring for you and for protecting you I am your older Brother I've earn that right. Now call me wen you read this cause I need to hear your sweet voice. The other post I have done will be up in the morning thanks everyone for giving me this time to speak to my Brother. Have a good weekend and here is today's Christmas song.
Kadin had yesterday off we spent the day Christmas shopping for the families. We got it mostly done only a few things we need to look for I think I can find it online. Mom told me that the boys could come and stay with me if I gain 5 pounds. Don't she know how hard that is food is so overrated. We did have a good lunch while we were out shopping. When we got back sitting by my front door plugged in a 2 foot plastic Santa. I was like omg my neighbors found it at goodwill and did it while we were gone. Now I need to come up with something to do back to them. They are great neighbors we play jokes on each other all the time besides I am the firm one haha. Got a doctor appointment later today just a check up make sure the knee is doing ok it has to be I haven't had any pain so the surgery must have did the trick. Oh start looking for your Christmas cards I mail them out yesterday too. Guess that's it today I'll leave you with a pic this is a cool pic one of my favorites it's not me but someone we all know also my Christmas song for the day.
So this is the deal Mom has wanted forever to go on a cruise. Her and Dad did it when they were younger but she hasn't done it since. So I talked with Dad and for Christmas we decided with Dads help that for Christmas were getting her a cruise with Dad of course. They will be cruising the western Caribbean visiting Key West, Belize City, Santo Tomas De Castilla, and Costa Maya. We told her last night well I was on speaker phone when we told her they will be leaving out of the port of Tampa the week of Christmas. She was so happy but a little sad she wouldn't be here Christmas day with us kids but we told her we wanted this for her. I told her they would be back in time for us to spend the New Year together. So me and Kadin is gonna have Ty and Corey for Christmas this is gonna be awesome!
My neighbors I just love them they are so old school and say stuff that just makes me laugh. Last night Kadin was working until 11:00 so after I got done with Mom and Dad on the phone I ask them if they like to come over and have a drink maybe a dip in the hot tub. I wanted to talk to them about there plastic tacky Santa. So now there going around to all the goodwill stores to see if they can find more tacky Christmas decorations they are so funny. We had a couple drinks so I was like lets get naked and get in the hot tub so we did I was getting in and the older guy Dave said oh what it's like to be so firm. I was like excuse me he said oh Ryan my dear please your young firm body enjoy it for one day the firm goes to flap. I was like oh my dear Dave what it must be like to have 2 real knees. He said when you get old Ryan that elephant trunk you have will hit the ground. I'm telling you they are nuts but I just love them.
For those that don't know but I found a job. Well I didn't find it my Uncle found it for me. I'll be answering phones and stuff like that I guess kinda like a secretary but without a dress. Hey come on now I only do that for Kadin please I don't do that at all. The job is Monday thru Friday 7 to 3 I can handle that im always up at the ass crack of damn anyway. That was something they ask if I was a dead head said they have young guys in there before and they were always later. I told them not me I will be there on time all the time. They know about my knee and my health but are willing to work with me on both. I start next Monday they said take this week and try to clear up my cold. This makes me happy I know it will my Dad also even though he hasn't said anything about me not working not sure if Mom has something to do with that.
I know I'll like this job it's a little like what I did when I worked for my Mom. They guys that work there seem really cool. Best thing is having the weekends off Kadin already hates me for that haha. Talk to Mom last night see how there trip home went and she was on me for the post yesterday she said she hates when I cry and she can't hold me and I wasn't allowed to write sad posts anymore. We talk about Christmas and how we was going to handle that. Told her with the new job I didn't want to ask for extra time off right from the start and with Kadin takin time at Thanksgiving not sure they will give him Christmas. She said the boys want to come back down here so that got me a thinking and I talked to Kadin and the boys maybe were getting ready to pull off the mother of all gifts. Stay tuned!
Today's Christmas music is one of my favorites I remember as a little boy Mom singing this to me.
