I been reading a lot in the paper lately about kids saying there transgender I mean kids as young as 6 and 7. I don't know if they are or if there aren't but I can speak on this when I was that young I knew I was different and I knew I liked boys didn't know what it was called all I knew is that I was different. I've posted about this before and have many people tell me I didn't know what I was or liked at that age but I have to say to them is there not me and they don't know what I liked or how I felt.
So I think a young person that age may feel there in the wrong body now the issue some people have is parents that are open about life will let that child live the gender they want to be I see nothing wrong with this either as long as the child is being who they are and want to wear what they want and not forced to do so. There is a fine line when it comes to surgery for me I personally think a person should wait until they are at least 18 before any body parts are removed or added.
I'm not sure if in the USA if they do surgery on teens for gender change but even if the teen wants it and the parent gives there okay I still think they should wait until there 18. Don't mean they can't live as they gender they want to be just means they have to wait for the surgery. What if they go through with at a young age and then decide when there 22 shit I shouldn't have done that. I just think there should be an age limit I don't much about this I'm sure there some kind of law.
Just thinking that maybe some kids as young as I was know they are different and I am happy there is some parents that are okay with there kids being who they want to be. Just like I think some kids are sexual at a young age also like I was. There again I did a post about that and I am not sorry I got into sex so young I enjoyed and don't feel like anyone took advantage of me in reality I was the one who started it.
I don't know what yall think?
I wasn't going to do a post on this but after last week and some emails and stuff I got I just had to say my peace on this and move on I'm talking about Whitney Houston. On facebook I said what I felt about her and her death and I guess I pissed some people off. Well if you think this is going to be an apology then better stop reading now and close this site out. I will not apologize for my thoughts right or wrong they are my thoughts.
I was very hard on Whitney and stand behind what I said I said something like this I don't feel sorry for her she had a gift from God and she smoked it up. I said all of the sudden she dies and everyone wants to put a crown on her head like she was a saint. A few years ago nobody was talking about her unless they were making fun of her crack smoking ass. Now she died and they all jump on the Whitney band wagon please!
They did they same thing when Michael Jackson died 8 to 10 years ago we were ready to lock his ass up for child molesting but when he died oh they jump on that wagon and it was all king Michael. I'm sorry this pisses me right off one day your ready to piss all over them but when they die there like a fucking saint. Well I'm sorry if I piss you off but neither one of them are saints and if they were every going to be they fuck it up by doing bad things.
Now I got emails saying well your not a saint and a cherry pick bible verse the one that who has not sin cast first stone. Well number I have never claim to be a saint and I'll be the first to admit I sinned and I'm not throwing stones. I will give credit where it is due and both these singers were great and Whitney had a voice like nobody else but she blew that God gift away.
They tell me to show respect well to me they lost there respect by doing drugs and touching kids. If that makes me a bad person cause I say what I feel then so be it I'm a big boy and I can live with it. I had a really good person that I looked up to and stood with on many issues we crossed a few times on issues but always stayed friends but over this they ended our friendship made me question how true this person really was to me.
Look if you stop out friendship over something so stupid like Whitney or Michael then I don't need you as a friend. One other thing I'm really sick at people pointing fingers at Bobby Brown I'm not a fan of his or his music all I know is after him and Whitney got a divorce he went to rehab got himself clean and now is back touring and doing well makes me wonder if maybe Whitney was really the fault! So bring on the hate mail delete me from your facebook if this post pisses off cause I'm going to be me speak my mind I'm not sticking up for molesters or crack heads!
Heading over to Daytona soon for Saturday night's Bud Shootout the start of the Nascar season I'm so happy. I will be busy for the next week with speed weeks and then the Daytona 500 so the post may few and far between. So look back on some old post until I return.
Hugs!
So Kadin always plans and surprises me with something awesome on Valentine's Day and this year he did not let me down. The best part of this is we didn't have to go far to have a wonderful time. So yesterday we were at home and Kadin was doing his normal stuff and that included the xbox. I was beginning to think he hadn't planned anything. Finally it was getting close for me to head off to therapy he came in said you ready to go I said yeah as ready as I will be.
We got in the truck and headed to my therapy class when all the sudden he turn a different way and I ask where you going/ He said sit back you will see! I knew there was something up then he drove out toward the beach and he finally said no therapy today. We pulled up in front of this hotel/motel type of place on the beach and he said did you think I forgot? I said for a moment I did he said I told you that a valentine's day would never pass that I wouldn't show you how much you mean to me.
We went inside to our room and there was rose petals on the floor and on the bed a trail to the bathroom with roses and chocolates and petals floating on the water. He said were going to have a special night. I found out that he had Tyler and Max come out earlier and set things up even brought my guitar and our suitcase. We went to dinner on the beach and came back to the room and soaked in the tub for a while before we ended up making the best love ever.
The point is this if your in relationship you don't have to spend a lot of money or even go far to show the person you love how much you love them and want to spend time with them. There are many bed and breakfast places out there and even if you can't find one of them a motel/hotel can be a wonderful place if you make it a nice hot bath together just talking maybe having a glass of wine. The point is just make the time and show the love!
Peace & Love
Today I just wanted to wish everyone a
Happy Valentine's Day!
I know in the past I've ask for help with different things and you have came through today I'm asking for any help you can give Josh. This is his story...........
On February 9th 2012 Joshhy was shot in his right wrist and brutally beaten with a 45 caliber pistol, and rushed to the ER by a good Samaritan. At the hospital he was told he would need at least 3 surgeries to repair his wrist and regain full movement of the wrist and hand. He will almost defiantly be deaf in his left ear for the rest of his life and may not regain full use of his right hand. He has suffered bruises and swelling throughout his body. To this day he has not been able to have a full night’s sleep due to stress, anxiety, and nightmares.
Click on this link.
http://flcondoboys.com/joshhydonate.htm
I tell you what I know people like doing things if they get something in return I'll do this if you do give something email me how much you gave and I will send you a sign copy of my drawing in a frame you can choose the pic here or one that is unedited just make sure its a real good donation email me at ryryt87@yahoo.com and tell me what you gave and I will verify with Josh make sure you tell in your donation that your my friend and you want the picture the highest donation wins.
Peace & Love!
Over the weekend I went to this event with Kadin I'm not going into details on what kind of event really not important. It was a gay event there were a lot of people there I don't fit into these kind of event but Kadin wanted to go so I went with him besides I make him look good when I'm hanging onto his arm lol alright I had to toot my own horn a little. Everything seem to be going good then I notice this guy kinda looking at me and he was standing alone and I thought maybe he knows me.
Finally I went up to him and ask him do we know each other? He said oh no sorry didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I said you didn't just thought maybe we knew each other. As I was walking away he said thanks I said what for? He said for not yelling or jumping on me for looking. I said I'm not that way he said most guys your age are they freak out over an older guy looking at them. I said that's cause there asses and don't realize one day they will have some age on them too.
I ask the guy if he would like to get a glass of wine and sit at our table and talk he said he would like that. I'm gonna make this story a little short cause I want to get to the point. This guy he was in his mid 40's had a little belly but all in all not really a bad looking guy was telling me he has been single for at least 8 years he tried a few times but the kind of guys he likes don't like him and if they do there are money. But what really gets him now is how they overreact over someone looking at them or by just saying hi.
He went on about a lot things and I thought about it and a lot of what he said is so true. The gay community who is suppose to be so open and love everyone is really not that open. We are a bunch of hateful, judge metal people there is. Think about it if your not young or with a hot bod then people don't talk to you there is more clicks in the gay community then anywhere. He told me his biggest fear is growing old alone in our community and sometimes just trying to say hello to someone is hard to do for the fear of getting yelled at.
I know people there has to be something there to like a person but would it hurt to say hello maybe reach out and say your not what I'm looking for not my type but I could always use a new friend or maybe you know someone that may like them. Look people we have to stop this un accepting people cause of looks, age or weight for we as a community and a minority can never gain the acceptance and equality from the majority when we are not always accepting of our own.
With Valentine's Day coming up thought I would do a post about something that happen in my past and apart of the reason mom took me out of the public school system and another reason for me to hate school so much. Personally I think the stress and bullshit I put up with cause of school is to blame for me not doing well in the first place. Yeah I know can't really blame anyone else but myself but the trauma inflicted for it sure didn't help.
This is one of those trauma's let me go all Sophia from the Golden Girls on you. Picture this kindergarten 1992 Peachtree City Georgia a little boy making his first Valentine bag to hang on the back of his desk. I remember the teacher giving all of us these white lunch bags telling us were making a bag to put are Valentine cards in. We have crayons and red paper and glue all the fun things. We could make whatever we wanted and then Friday we would have a Valentine party with juice and cupcakes and pass out Valentine cards.
This to me was really cool like I talked about before I knew I like boys back then didn't know what it was called and I knew I could pick out special cards for the cute boys. We had to pass out cards to each of our classmates but I knew the cute boys would be getting special ones from me. All went well and I was happy I got cards even though none of them were special cards but the boys I liked I thought they were special cards and held on to them.
Next year 1st card is when things change and not in a good way. Valentine's Day came around and the teacher we had would be called a hater today. He did the same thing as the other teacher we made bags to hang on the back of our desk but when he handed out the list of student names he had to the boys the girls names only and to the girls boys names only. One boy raised his hand and ask about it and the teacher look at him and said are you queer?
My heart fell all the way to my ass I couldn't believe what I heard I wasn't 100% sure what it was but hearing it around I knew a little. He went on to say boys don't give boys Valentine Cards he said that makes you gay and nobody likes gay boys. I could have cried but I held it and just wanted to go home. Mom knew something was wrong and ask me about it took me a while to tell her. I was just heartbroken first I had a teacher that hated people and I couldn't give any valentine's out to the boys.
That Friday when we had our Valentine party it sucked and nobody really had fun least it looked that way. When I went back to my desk after passing out cards to the girls only I check my bag and I only had 2 cards in there and one was from this girl who always hated me and on the card she said your face looks like the turtle in the picture funny thing is I still have that card one day I will make her eat it!
Like I said that was the end of public school for me I finally told mom I didn't like it there and I told her what the teacher said and did. I'm not sure what she did I do know she went into the office and said something. I don't know if the teacher got fired or not she took me out and put me in a private school and really it wasn't any better. I just think it sucked that the teacher took away something that meant a lot to me as a gay child I couldn't just come right out and say how I felt and giving a valentine card was my way and he took that from me.
Happy Valentine's Day!
I get emails all the time that ask me how can I be open with my body like I am? They ask how is it so easy for me just to be naked in front of people? Well its like this my parents never made me feel ashamed of my body and they were always open about the body they even took me to nudist camping and stuff like that when I was a kid to show me that nudity is not a bad thing.
American society makes nudity a bad thing more than anything the Christians make it a nasty thing. I don't believe that God made anything on my body nasty so they can take that and do what they want with it. I think if more people was more open an stop making it a nasty thing then maybe there wouldn't be so many sex crimes. I just feel that people make it nasty so there are people out there that have to make it a crime cause it's not an open thing.
I get ask by people who want to do nudists stuff or just wants to hang out naked by the pool or whatever what happens if I get a boner? Well it happens even to me and it's not a bad thing see again people raised by society that having a hard on is a bad thing. If I get a boner I just excuse myself or jump in the pool or think of something else and it will go down. Nobody looks at you as that's nasty nudist don't think its a bad thing at all.
Hell I was 18 years old and sit butt ass naked in front of a class or artists so they could draw and paint a male nude. Me and one other guy was totally naked in a room with about 20 collage age kids while they draw or painted talk about being on the edge but after about 5 minutes I felt comfortable even so much so I've been back three times for the school to let other students paint and draw me.
I always say do what is comfortable for you if your okay with your body and don't mind others seeing then take your clothes off. It's not for everybody and that's okay also just do what you feel good about doing. Me I don't mind it I fell free and one with God an Mother Nature when I'm naked. I would be more open to post my nude pics on here but the thing is when I did that before they ended up all over the net took me forever to get them removed other than that I don't really care who see's what I got.
Later!
My good friend Ryan Field did a
post the other and after watching the super bowl I thought I would throw my 2 cents into gay men and entertainment. Make sure you go and check out
Ryan's post on this topic but here is mine and it's not much different than his and I may lose some gay points here but I have to honest on how I feel.
Madonna and the super bowl let me cover this first. I thought the show was okay way better than the black eye peas that's for sure but did she really need to Lady Gaga it all up? I mean the whole theatrical crap she didn't need to do. All she had to do was come out sing her songs that we all know the hits and people would have loved the shit out of that. I mean if we wanted to see a theatrical type show we would have went to a drag show.
Not all gay men are into all that crap Judy, Liza, Bette were just not into it. Show tunes, Broadway musicals, award shows not into them at all. I do have gay friends that are into that and that's okay that them it's just not me. Kadin loves Lady Gaga I like some of her music but the show crap she does I could do without just get out there and sing that's what I think anyway.
I know there are other gay men out there who feel like I do and just not into all that theatrical crap. People tell me all the time how the hell are you gay when you not into the gay scene? Why does it have to be like that I like all kinds of music but I listen to country and southern rock more than anything. I don't care for new country too much its more pop music than country.
Don't get me wrong I'm not hating on anybody or any music I'm just saying the way I feel as I think many others do. If you like them kind of shows then go and have fun but when your doing a halftime show at the biggest football game of the year and your Madonna just get up there and sing okay I would be saying the same if it was Cher okay. If they hired Lady Gaga then I would expect a show.
The best super bowl show I've seen so far has been a few years ago when The Who rocked the place now that was a super bowl show! Tune in tomorrow I'm going to talk about my favorite topic nudity!
Peace!
Had a pretty good weekend really couple things pissed me off but that the way life is sometimes. First thing was Saturday morning trying to get the boys up to help clean was a job by itself. I don't know what time they went to bed but I told them they needed to get up Saturday morning and help me clean the house for the super bowl party on Sunday they both agree but Saturday morning came along and the fight was on.
After a little while Max got up but Tyler that was a fight of a different color. I told him to stop yelling cause Kadin was sleeping (for the record Kadin was sleeping cause he work the night shift at the hospital) After fighting for an hour Tyler finally got up but he was a bitch smart mouthing and all it finally came to head and we went off on each other poor Max didn't know what to do he has never seen us fight like this.
But I lost it I told him look I don't want this damn party this is your and Kadin's idea and least you can do is help clean up and clean your fucking room looks and smells like pigs live in there. Course he said it's my room I'll keep it like I want and of course I said that may be but it's my house and I said clean it. He said you know I can move I don't have to stay here and I said well then do it! He said fine I will!
We woke Kadin up with the yelling and he finally said enough all fucking ready! Told Tyler to go clean his room nobody was moving out and told me to come in the kitchen. He said to me you need to clam down really it's just a house I said your the one who is having people over for the super bowl I'm just trying to get things clean before the damn yankees come over. Well that did it the fight was on with Kadin he gets mad when I call his friends from the north that.
I could really be an ass today I what I really feel but trying real hard to be nice. Some people just the sound of there voice drives me nuts there accent I guess you would say and these people do it for me. I want to just grab them and shake them until they say car right. Kadin tell me to stop acting like a southern the war is over. I say yeah it may be but I'm still pissed about it. All in all is wasn't a bad weekend I didn't care for either team but happy that New York one only cause Kadin's yankee friends were wanting the Patriots to win.
Take That!!!!!! hahaha
People ask me why do you depressed they say you have a great life a wonderful husband your family and friends? I'm not sure how to answer that all I know is it happens I fight depression sometimes a daily basis. I remember as a little kid that I seem said a lot I think it was the lack of friends maybe I don't know. I know I got picked on a lot cause I was so small and wore glasses had hearing aids I was an easy target. Later the hate comments came along being call queer and faggot took it's toll on me also.
I always felt safe at home but it got lonely too but mom always seem to know when I was feeling low and would do her best to make me happy. I thank her for that but a boy needs more than just there mom as a friend. I had one friend but he was busy a lot so I didn't get to spend as much time with him as I wanted. Even as a little boy he was working on his future so he was off either racing go-carts or cars even playing baseball for a while so I didn't get much time with him but when we did have time we made it count.
I wish I knew what brought it on but most the time it just sneaks up on me. I take meds for it but sometimes it don't stop it from happening. I'm not the type of person that would hurt myself that thought only crossed my mind once when I was 14 but I couldn't do it cause I like living too much. But I do cry a lot and like to sit in dark places and be left alone even though Kadin won't let me and if he finds me in there he will sit with me until I come out. So I don't know why I get depressed I just do but I think the key to pulling me out is my family, friends most of all Kadin.
So if your going through this just remember your not alone and if someone is trying to help you let them. Even if they just sit with you like Kadin does for me let them. If you feel you need help then seek it nothing wrong with getting help. If you need info on some places there are some on my sidebar or email me and I'll help you find a place. Just remember your not alone there are people willing to help all you have to do is let them!
So I got this email from this guy and I thought at first I would call him out by giving his name and all but then I thought maybe that's what he wants or thinks I would do so I won't do that. So let's call him asswipe so asswipe wrote me and email and told me how much he hated me hated what I stood for and thinks I'm the dumbest queer in the world. He told me before I call it hate he wanted me to know he was gay.
He went on to say that my followers are just as stupid as I was cause yall hang on to ever word I say. He went on to say that he would bet if I told you I ate shit and it tasted good yall would eat it also. He said if I told yall to drink the coolaid yall would cause your that damn stupid. He told me how what I say didn't matter and thought a ass of a cow looked better than I do. He went on to say I was so redneck and wondered how I made it through school.
My question is this if you hate me so much why do you follow me? How come you know so much about me? I mean post that I did years ago he brought up. He also knew stuff I posted on facebook and when I looked for his name on my friends list it wasn't there so he either gave me a false name or he is using one. Don't matter really but to but all that energy into an email to tell me how much you hate me why don't you use that energy for something good.
But I tell you this much mr asswipe the email I could really careless about but tell me that I'm worthless and no count well that pisses me off more than anything. I think everyone who is put on this earth is worth something and counts for something. We may not like every person we come across but that person counts okay even you count you may be an asswipe but you count to someone.
Try to have a nice day and your email really means nothing to me other than if your picking on me your leaving someone else alone!
