Ryan's Life

Respect

2012-01-30T10:40:00.000-05:00

This weekend was great weekend it was Kadin's weekend off so they are always great. Though is seems when he has a weekend off we have a hundred things to do but we always seem to get them done and have a little fun while doing them. This weekend wasn't any different had our errands to run but Kadin wanted to hit some of the goodwill's and thrift shops.

I could tell that some people must have got the income tax checks back cause the stores seemed a little more busy than normally. More kids with there parents than normally also. I didn't mind so much just wish some parents would make there kids mind instead of just running wild all over the place. At this one goodwill we couldn't even get down a couple isles cause kids where on the ground playing with the toys.

This other goodwill we went into we were looking at some stuff this kid bump into my knee thank god I still had my brace on and he looked at me and said move! I look down at him and said what you say to me do you want me to stick this cane up your ass? The kid looked at me with look I just said you better think twice about opening you mouth. He got up and ran over to his mom I guess telling her she gave me a dirty look Kadin look at her and said what?

We get over to grocery store and we were talking about how kids today have no respect for there elders. When I was growing my parents would bust my ass or smack me right in the mouth his I disrespected any adult. Even when I was a teenager I remember one time I spouted off to this old lady and my mom busted me right in the mouth. She said I raised you better than that now go over a apologize to that lady.

In the grocery store this old man I bet was at least 90 if not older pushing this cart he had what we call the walking farts you know the kind that like a machine gun going off. Well Kadin and I noticed him doing but didn't say anything about it. These two girls came walking by and he did it again they were about 14 maybe 15 and they said eww old man your gross go home or go to the bathroom you sicko.

That was it for me I had all I could stand of kids today so I went off on them. I said where is your respect at? I said maybe he can't control that but either way I said you don't talk to him that way he is your elder. I said one day that could be you and I'm sure you don't want someone to talk you like that. The one girl gave me this look and she said excuse me was I talking to you that old guy farted on me!

I said he didn't fart on you he farted as you walked by and any respectable person would have walked on by without saying anything. She said again who the fuck are you to talk to me this way? I said I am someone with respect that's who I am she went on to tell me that I needed to mind my business and how I needed to respect her. I finally said look here you Hanna Montana wanna be you just don't get respect you have to earn it.

Finally as she was walking away she was yelling nasty things at us calling us fags and shit but at that point I knew if I didn't walk away I would have beat her ass with my cane. The old man said thank for sticking up for him he said kids now a days scare him I told him they do me also. This other lady who witness the whole thing also said more people need to stick up for the elderly. I agree 100%!

What happen in America really? I think I know parents stop teaching and stop busting kids asses when they needed it. They got on this time out shit that don't work. I'm not saying abuse kids far from that but a nice ass busting when it is needed never hurt anybody. We need to teach these kids about respect and we need to give it to our elderly they have earn it. I know some old people can be rude right down asswipes sometimes but we need to learn when to turn around and walk away and let them look like a fool for being asswipes.

What say you?

Game On

2012-01-24T12:20:00.002-05:00

We keep people around us who we love and trust people that make us life or hold us when we feel like breaking down. Sometimes it's family but being gay and around the gay community I find that most the time it's friends that we say is family. That's one good thing about life is we don't get to pick our family but we sure do get to pick our friends. When family hurts you and turns it back on you for being you well we can walk right out and find a new family who loves and supports you for being you!
The the thing is is we pick these people cause we see something in them and we want them around us. But sometimes that person has other things on there mind there trying to get something from you maybe your boyfriend or deep down inside they don't like you or maybe it has to do with money but they really aren't there to be your friend even though they say they are. Soon as they get a chance normally when your down they jump and start slicing and they don't stop until they get what they want and that lost drop of blood is gone out of your body.I didn't see it coming and I am totally shocked by it. Yep you got one over me and damn you were good at your game. Just remember this boy might be down but I'm not out. I totally believe what comes around goes around and you my friend will get yours. Just as I'm back to 100% I'm coming for you and will wipe that smile off your face. So when it happens don't be surprised cause trust I have already put the ball in motion. There is another surprise coming your way also as soon as tomorrow. I feel sorry for you really cause now you get to see the nasty side of Ryan!

Game on Bitch!

The Houseboy?

2012-01-17T10:31:00.000-05:00

Okay I have this friend he was like my first real gay friend and he always told me that he wanted to find a man who loved him for him and wouldn't be anybody's bitch and would make sure he had enough to take care of himself cause no man would pay for him and he wouldn't be a kept whore. For the most part he did keep to his word until a year ago and something changed not sure what but it was like a 180 flip and I'm still a little shocked about it.

First off let me describe my friend to yall blonde hair blue eyes 5'9 well fit and abs that are to die for and a little more flamboyant than I like but who am I to judge. Here is the deal he had a job not a bad job paid pretty good.He like everyone else was looking for love and had lots of bad luck finding a good guy. But always kept his head up and moved on well he went online to try the online dating services and he met someone.

I'm not going into the small details just move right to the problem this guy lived in another state but came here to meet my friend. He never ask my friend to pay for anything to find out he is in the military not that there is anything wrong with that but he is an older guy and is not out. At first he was like if I had the right guy I wouldn't mind coming out but I guess my friend is not the right guy cause he refuses to come out and my friend well he is back in.

This guy moved my friend out of state and now he won't let him work says he don't need to work he would take care of everything all he needs to do is keep his house clean and take care of the dogs and be the good wife as long as he keep a low key and don't bring attention to himself the problem is my friend is going crazy. He won't tell this guy that and when he post about how unhappy he is on his facebook page and we say something about getting a job or something like that he goes nuts.

Telling us to stay out of his business that he will get a job when he wants. This is my problem I think there is more to this than meets the eye. I don't know if this guy has him so scared he is afraid to tell the truth to us or if something else going on. He has never let on he would be happy being someone bitch a kept whore just puzzles me. So my question should I make a trip to see him in person or just let it be. If there is a problem it will come out if this was a friend of yours what would you do?

American Soldiers

2012-01-16T11:09:00.002-05:00

I was going to do a post on the soldiers pissing thing cause I got a lot of comments on it on facebook and got a lot of emails many from soldiers they liked what I was saying but after talking with someone who I trust very much he thought it best I didn't say much more about it so I email the soldiers personally and gave them my thoughts. I will say this and then I'm moving on The American Soldier no matter what division your in I support you 100% I know there are things done that may not be right or done in bad taste but no matter what I will always support you good or bad not many can do what you do I know I couldn't so thank you for doing it and I will always stand with you and support you!
My knee is getting better each day after a bad day with therapy things have worked out. I am using crutches now and this bad ass leg brass soon I will be able to use my new terminator knee to kick the shit out of some people. All in all this one feels different than the other way I had and I can tell this is going to be great. It's funny how I just got use to the pain from the other and I knew something was wrong but was always told it will get better it never did really I just got use to it. Still find it funny how people just get use to things and others bitch and complain I guess it just depends on the situation. I normally adapt to whatever unless it has to do with animals then I'll bitch until something is done.

Tomorrow got a story and will need yours thoughts on a friend who is a houseboy or least I think he is.

Later!

Dreams

2012-01-12T12:23:00.002-05:00

So as many of you know I have this thing for dreams I've posted about it before. Seems I dream a lot and I can recall most of what I dream about normally it's not the same thing. But there is this one dream I have a lot and it's of the same thing everytime. When I talk to Kadin he hardly ever remembers his dreams other than he knows he did just don't recall of what. Tyler same thing but he says his normally has to do with sex and wakes up with a raging hard on and super horny that explains why I hear poor Max screaming in the middle of the night.

Anyway do any of you believe in reincarnation? I'm not sure if I do apart of me wants to believe this can happen but another part says no. Okay my dream the setting is in the 1800's in the south maybe my home state of Georgia I don't know but I know it's the south. It's right before the war breaks out in the states and I'm a young boy maybe 16 and my parents talking about a war between the states and her not wanting me or my dad fighting in it and him telling her if it breaks out we must go and fight.

I remember leaving the house with mom crying and I tell her I will be okay not to cry I will be back. I remember being sent to a battle field in the north not sure what state but I remember seeing the dogwood in bloom. I remember getting a letter from my mom saying come home my father was killed in Fredericksburg. I remember going home for his funeral and my mom begging me to stay and I told her I have to go I had to make dad proud. I bet I could write a book on this cause I remember details so well.

So what are your thoughts on this? Do you believe we could have lived in another time?

Gay Bed & Breakfast in Florida

2012-01-11T10:27:00.003-05:00

I'm going to start posting more about gay business's and such. I want to start with a friend of mine Brian who owns a gay bed and breakfast it's call Gay StPete House. I've posted about it before but had to post about it again. If anyone is planning on coming to Florida for a visit to get out of the cold check our Brian's Gay StPete House! Make sure you tell him that you heard about through me and he will hook you up treat you like family!

A small, clean and affordable Bed & Breakfast in central St Petersburg, just minutes to the beaches, downtown, and the glbt business district, Grand Central. Located in the Central Oak Park neighborhood, this relaxing oasis allows you to unwind with a private, clothing optional heated pool, sauna/exercise room and 6 person hot tub.

All six rooms have private baths and entrances, off-street parking, and free wifi. All rooms have a tv with dvd player, microwave and refrigerator. The poolside cottage has a full kitchen. Single rooms have one queen bed, and doubles, including the cottage, have two queen beds. Rooms from $69 per night and a special weekly rate, pay for 5 nights, stay for seven! Your friendly pet is welcome.

Continental Breakfast and Soda/Beer/Wine Happy Hour served daily!

http://www.gaystpetehouse.com/

Chris Kids

2012-01-10T11:23:00.006-05:00

When I hear of a group or an organization helping gay youths I like to do what I can do to help them. I heard of the this place called Chris Kids in my home state of Georgia I've check them out and they have been around since 1981 and in 1986 they created Georgia’s first independent living program to address the needs of youth aging out of foster care and homeless Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Questioning (LGBTQ) youth.

So I want to give a shout out to Chris Kids and ask any of you that have a little extra to give think about giving to Chris Kids. Every little bit will help there doing a good thing to help gay youths we need more places like this. Check out there website for ways to help also check out there facebook page and click the like button! Click on the pics and they will take you to the website and there facebook page. Thanks for any help you can do!

WWW.CHRISKIDS.ORG

Hate

2012-01-09T09:08:00.000-05:00

Surgery went well I was scared when I went in even though I been though it before this time I had more time to think about it and I think I just let my mind scare me. Like I said the surgery went well they let me rest the day of the surgery but the next day they had me up and by Friday I was home. I'm still sore and there is a little pain but all in all I'm good. Therapy so far is going great and everyone seems happy with how well I'm doing I just decided I wasn't going to let this get me down.

Reason I wanted to post today is cause of the hate. I don't get it and I guess I never will. I've been blogging for years and have had people hating on me since day one. Most come and go and others seem to stick around and take there hits when they can. When I started controlling the comments the hate seem to stop but then I started facebooking and it was a new outlet for some of those haters. I would block the haters but they would start other profiles and keep on hating.

While I was away getting my knee replaced they took me being away as a way to get there hits in. Most the time I don't let them get to me but sometimes you just can't help to get mad and pissed off. I got emails that I turn over to my dad cause to me they were hate. I got things like I hope you lose your leg I hope the doctor makes a mistake and you die even one that said hope he slips and cuts your dick off since you want to had a guy fuck you. I just don't get this really the hate cause a person is just being who they are. Sometimes it makes me wonder why I keep on blogging or facebooking. Sometimes I want to walk away from it all but I know if I do then they win and the bothers me the most.

Later!

Wish Me Luck

2012-01-03T06:00:00.000-05:00

Well I'm off to see the Wizard to get me a new Terminator knee! Kadin or Tyler will let yall know something as soon as they can!

Much Love!

Happy New Year

2011-12-27T14:52:00.005-05:00

Wishing everyone a Happy New Year! I'll be back posting sometime in the new year I got some bad news today and just need a break from everything. No it's nothing that bad for those that remember a few years ago I had to have my knee replaced cause I made a bad choice. Well I've been having a lot of issues with it and found out today that I need to have it replaced again they tell me that the part is defected and is one of the ones being recalled so I'm not a happy camper. With this now and fighting the depression I'm just going to take a break from everything for a little bit. Hope everyone has a Happy and Safe New Year!

Peace to All!

UPDATE:
So the date for the surgery is January 3 I also found out that the knee I have is on a recall and there is a class action lawsuit against the company that made it. All I know is I'm kinda scared but I went through it before and I am tired of the discomfort. I'll keep you updated when I can. Thanks!

Merry Christmas

2011-12-24T00:01:00.000-05:00

If you are a follower of the site, I thank you for coming and supporting. For any newcomers I encourage you to explore my blog I poured out my heart and sole, my thoughts right or wrong I gave my all. Hope I touched you in some way and made a difference.

I wish you love and I wish you hope–and always, peace.

What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. Oscar Wilde

Manscaping

2011-12-22T10:02:00.003-05:00

I got a couple emails asking me if I would do a post on manscaping they also wanted to know if I did it and what and why? So here is my post on manscaping and please feel free to comment on your tips for manscaping or the pros and cons on this topic. Yes I manscape I keep my pubes trimmed short and the reason why for me is cause Kadin likes them that way. When I was younger a teenager I used to shave it all off I like them smooth look back them and I thought it would keep me younger if I didn't have any hair down there. I know it was all in my mind but when I was a teen I just liked it that way.

Now I like a little hair down there not a lot not a bush cause all that hair to me is nasty and it smells. I don't like getting pubes in my mouth so I like Kadin all nice and trimmed up. For us we trim each other how we want it. It's like I am the one going down there so I'm keeping things how I like them and he feels the same way. Now I'm not a hairy person so I don't have to deal with chest hair or back hair. Kadin has some not a lot but it don't bother me I told him it was up to him if he wanted to be smooth than I would shave him but if he liked it then I do too.Hairy legs I'm ok with that I think hair on guys legs is sexy and don't shave it. Underarms I don't shave mine but I know some who do that again is up to the person. I do trim my eyebrows cause I like mine that way just don't want wild eyebrows going all over the place and damn sure don't like them unibrows guys if you have them cut it! Look to me manscaping is up to the person for me I do some and I like looking a certain way so I manscape. I also think some manscaping is healthy and keep the smells under control.

So I say if this is something for you then do it if your happy with a jungle down there then leave it alone. Remember do it for you or your partner whatever makes you happy. Some guys like smooth some like guys with hair you have to decide what you like and what you want to be. Just remember once you start cutting and trimming hair it a life time job unless you stop trimming. Sometimes its a weekly thing so remember that. Happy Manscaping Yall!

Have a Great Thursday!

A New Start

2011-12-20T11:16:00.001-05:00

Wanted to do a follow up post from yesterday seems like everyone had the same thoughts and they were the same as mine and Kadin. So I got a new consoler went last night and had my first visit and I explain to him why I left the other one and he seem to agree with all of us also that the nudity and the wanking has nothing to do with the depression. He also thought it very odd that he would come to some sort of conclusion about me so quick and really think having me in a group after two days of consoling is very odd. He thinks more one on one is needed before starting a group thing.

I want to address some of your questions in the comments. First off me and Kadin are fine and we have sex normally twice a day but if not then at least once a day I can't remember the last time we went a day without having sex. Kadin also is very cool with my nudity very open to it and has even become more open with his body and being nude in public. He has even told me he finds it kinda hot that guys see me naked and see how sexy I am but they can't have me. He also knows I want and like watching porn and he is also okay with that I know some couples get made if there partner wanks well Kadin don't mind we talk about everything and we have rules I would never cross one and hurt him.

There is more to the depression than I do speak about on here. I am pretty open about much of my life on here but there is something's I don't talk about just something's need to stay private. There are a couple people who know everything but there is a reason why its called trust. So understand I can't post everything when it comes to the depression. The new counselor even though its only been one time I like him and he seems to understand more and I think he is going to be so much better for me. He made me feel more welcome than the other one did. Have my second meeting with him later and I'm looking forward to it!

Counseling Sucks Sometimes

2011-12-19T10:53:00.002-05:00

I've been doing my counseling trying to do whatever I can to get me out of this funk that I'm in. The group thing I like its been nice and helpful the counselor that's another story all. So far we have had it out 4 times and I told him last Friday that if we come to blow again that I would seek someplace else to go. He kindly told me that wherever I went he would forward my records so they could see my problems yes he said problems.

See he thinks I have a couple other problems that may or may not lead to my depression. I disagree with him on these cause I don't see them as problems I see them as things that make me happy. No it has nothing to do with me being just want to make that clear. Not sure I want to talk about it on here cause they sound kinda bad. You know fuck that yall been my friends for a long time and I know you will tell me honest.

So the counselor thinks I have a sex problem like he thinks I'm a sex addict. He said I have a problem cause I like to cum 4 or 5 times a day he said that's not normal. He said that I am to open about my sexuality and my nudity. Thinks being raised a nudist may have hurt me and may have caused my depression. Of course I went off on him about this and told him my nudity or my need to shoot 4 or 5 loads a day don't have anything to do with me being depressed.

If anything it has help me be who I am. I told him the depression started way before the nudity and the jacking off did. I told him always being bullied in school or by family always being told your going to hell cause your gay has a lot to do with it. Trying to be normal whatever the hell that was trying to live up to everyone else trying to live a straight life cause living a gay life was so wrong has some to do with it not being naked.

Shit I don't know what do yall think?

Help Confused

2011-12-15T09:43:00.000-05:00

Got something that bothers me I think I may have talked about this before but hell I can't remember I've posted about damn near everything. Anyway if I did I'm going to post about it again cause it right down pisses me off. I'm trying to support the gay community I've changed some on the last few years when it comes to some of the gay happenings things I didn't care about before but with the help of many of you and others I've become more open to the gay community.

I remember when I couldn't stand drag queens just to look at them made my stomach turn. But like I said over the last few years I've come to learn and to understand them and why they are important for our community. Can't say I totally understand why a guy would want to do that in the first place but I get it. Damn that sounds so crazy hope you understand what I'm trying to say with that. But there is one thing in the community that I can't stand pisses me right off and will make me jump in a persons ass quick!

That one thing is when gay men refer to themselves as girls. Let me give some examples I have a friend that says "oh I don't do that I'm a lady" or when I burp or fart he says "that wasn't very lady like" another one is he calls 'girl let me tell you this" I could on and on but you get the idea. Look I don't understand that and it right down pisses me off. I am not a girl don't want to be a girl I don't like girls well you know what I mean.

I think it's a disgrace in the gay community when boys call each other girls and I have on many times jump on someone's ass for calling me a girl. I have told them you better feel again cause I am swinging and it anit no pus or tits. Am I wrong on this am I missing something? At a meeting yesterday for my depression there a couple other gay guys there one of them was real flamboyant and he called me girl lets just say the meeting got real hot. The poor doctor had a lot on his hands yesterday.

Talk to me am I wrong help me understand this issue!

I'll be ok

2011-12-13T11:38:00.002-05:00

I been fighting depression all my life I never know what brings it on or how long it will last. All I know is I don't like it and I don't like the feeling. I do take meds for it most the time it helps but sometimes the feelings just over run and the meds just don't work. I don't the feelings anymore of hurting myself they are under control just the sad feelings is what I get now and just wish I could control it.

I think this time I know what help bring it on but I'm not sure and I'm sorry but I can't talk about it. I know when it comes to this blog I have been pretty open with my life and have damn near talked about everything but there is some that I haven't and wont. I think there is only two people that knows everything there is know about me and I know they won't every tell that's why I open up to them.
I will get pass this like I always do so for now all I can ask is you stand by with me until it does pass. I'm sorry if I brought this blog and my facebook to a sudden stop I do enjoy doing both just when I'm in a better mood. So until this passes I won't be posting much on either site its the wrong time of the year and I don't want to bring anyone down and please don't worry about me I have Kadin, Tyler and my folks watching out for me.

Hugs to All!

Christmas Idea

2011-12-09T06:20:00.000-05:00

I love to read I think yall know that and when I find an author I like I love to read I love to share it with everyone. Over the years doing this blog I have got to know a couple of my favorite writers on a somewhat personally basis. Ryan Field has become like a big brother I've always wanted and has been there for me anytime I have ask him and that means the world to me. Michael Holloway Perronne has kept in contact with me and let me know about his books and that is pretty special to me. If your looking for stocking stuffers for Christmas check out these books by Michael there a series and tell a great story I fell in love with the characters of these books it was like they were close friends of mine. I can't say enough about these books so you looking for a great Christmas gift here they are!

Have a good weekend!

Go check them out!

Loyal Readers

2011-12-08T05:14:00.000-05:00

The other day I posted about a couple blogs that I question there reasons for hiding who they are. I want to make it clear I don't personally care who they are I never read there blogs before and won't again what I did read didn't hold my attention other than there posts on why they hide there identity. I said my peace on that a couple posts ago and that's that.

I got a few emails giving me down the road for coming down on these blogs. Gone as far as calling me a bully for trying to get them to say who they are. All I can say is you missed the point I wasn't trying to get these guys to come out and let everyone know who they are all I was trying to do is if you don't want to say or prove who you are then don't talk about.

Don't give people the reason to question you just keep your mouth shut and keep posting. Just cause someone leaves you a comment on who you are don't mean you have to address it or even leave the comment up see that the thing about having a blog its yours and you can do with it as you want that goes for comments also.

Like I said I've been doing this blog for years and I have had readers come and readers go and that's fine but you know the readers I want? The loyal readers the ones that been here from the start or close enough to it they know and remember everything I've said. One's that are not scared to say hey Ryan I disagree with you and here is why.

Loyal readers mean more to me than a passer by reader cause they come back everyday to see what I am doing or saying. The two blogs I question its like this I don't care who they are and people who read them and also read mine have a choice to read or not to read believe what we say or not believe that's why there is a red x in the corner if you don't like it move on.

Hate to sound like a repeater but I don't read there blogs and for those who do then its up to you to decided if your ok with the way the post and if the want to hide its there choice. I have no issues with them as long as they aren't hurting anybody and as far as I can see there not. So those who wrote me them emails saying I was an asshole and bully well kiss this bully asshole!

Later!

Pearl Harbor 1941 Remembered

2011-12-07T08:09:00.003-05:00

This is a post I did a few years ago thought I would repost it another day in USA history we must never forget!

Everyone knows I am a history nut that was my best class in school Today is Pearl Harbor Day. This day we can never forget either. Take time today if only for a second to think about what happen that day and those who died on that day!

You can find out more on Pearl Harbor here National Geographic Pearl Harbor.

Here is a really good link of that day with a story and photos!
Naval History & Heritage.

A Man and His Thoughts

2011-12-06T11:23:00.003-05:00

When I first starting blogging back some 8 years ago I did it for me a way to be me. As many of you know I was bullied in school and being gay well there is issues there when your in school. So I started blogging as a way out never thinking that I would make so many good friends through the years. Reason I am writing this post now is another blogger who came back to blogging after being question if he was real or not. He stated he was being bullied online and so was his friends and family not sure how that works unless he has there info on his blog.

Anyway I was 15 when I started blogging and at first I did keep myself hide I didn't want people to know who I was hell I was 15 and gay didn't need anymore heat on me. But after a while I got to know some of you my regulars and it got more easier for me to come out and stop hiding who I was. Now over the years I have had haters and people who came on here and tried to bully me into going away. Hell for a while I had Fred Phelps and his people commenting on here with all there hate. Then I turn 18 and I came out online and decided to show the world who I was.

There are 2 blogs that I don't agree with what they say when ask why they wont revile who they are. I personally don't care why they don't but there reasons just don't sound true to me. They claim the reason they don't is that they are scared someone will show up at there do and do bad things to them. I don't believe this sorry I just don't. My reason is I've been doing this blog for 8 years and a lot of you I have never met in my life but we exchange Christmas cards most of you know I live in Bradenton, Florida and have my facebook page and I have never had anybody show up at my door.

Now it's your choice if you don't want to show who you are and we as readers have to believe in what your telling us or move on. Just be up front and say I don't want to share pics with anyone and let it be that. Don't use the excuse fear cause that makes you sound funny and puts questions in people's minds. It don't matter to me either way cause I don't really read these blogs but I just couldn't let the excuses they use go by without making a post about it. Just do your blogs they way you want there yours and write what you want just when you put doubts in everyone's head then is when you have problems and questions.

Just my 2 cents!

Old Christmas Time

2011-12-05T13:16:00.003-05:00

I really don't have much to post about no big issues that I want to talk about I see some coming up but right now I'm just kinda waiting to see how they want to go with it. I know I hate that shit also bring something up and not talk about well just have to wait it could be good and so worth the wait.
We went this pass weekend and got our Christmas tree I really don't get why we have to hit 6 different lots before we find the right tree but that's what we did Kadin just had to have to right tree. Tonight were going to decorate it now that it has fell out and is ready for lights and all the trimmings. We did get the out lights up and shit I will get some pics of it soon and out it up.
Makes me think of how they celebrated Christmas back before lights and stuff. Thinking about everyone sitting around at night after dinner by the fireplace and candle light making there own decorations for the tree. Maybe popping popcorn to strings for the tree. I bet it was so much fun back then and I bet it meant more. I personally am at the point where Christmas is so overrated and commercial.

Guess that's why I love Charlie Brown Christmas so much! And it's on tonight!

Happy Friday

2011-12-02T06:21:00.000-05:00

Many thanks to all that read and comments on my posts.
Have a Good Weekend!

World Aids Day

2011-12-01T09:58:00.003-05:00

Today is world aids day I thought I would do a post on aids and how it effected my life. I heard about aids when I was younger wasn't sure what it was until I ask my mom one day and she explained to me. I still didn't deal with it much cause the few friends I had didn't have it and I wasn't involved with the gay community so I didn't deal with it much.

I remember seeing reports here and there on TV about how many people had died for the virus but it still wasn't clicking with me. Then one day I heard this kid from are school had gotten aids through a blood transfusion so we were told. He came back to school for a couple weeks but he left and never came back.

I was told parents were fighting the school they didn't want him there and some of the kids was bullying him calling him all kinds of names. I guess they him and his parents decided the fight wasn't worth it. I don't know whatever happen to the kid I didn't know him other than speaking to him maybe once or twice.

A little time later I met this older guy online he wasn't trying to pick me up or anything like that he found this blog and started leaving comments and then emails. Turn out he used to be a drag performer years ago and was just living his life the best he could. He answered a lot of questions for that I had that my parents couldn't answer.

See this where I have issues with gay boys they see an old gay man as a troll and yeah I'm sure there are some out there but most just want friendship and take it from me you could learn a lot for someone who been through the ropes a time or two. Think about that next time when you look at an old guy as eww gross cause maybe he not looking at you as a piece of meat but maybe as a friend.

Anyway we met up one day and he was up front and said he would only meet up if one of my parents came also so he could met them cause he didn't want any issues or anything like that. So my mom took me to meet him at Peachtree Center and just like online we hit it off and become great friends he use to come to dinner with my family all the time.

I'm going to make this quick cause I'll get all upset again thinking about it but he was sick and when I first met him I didn't know it he told my parents cause he wanted to be up front with them. He told me sometime later but after he told me he got really sick and he didn't have many friends so me and my folks were there for him as he passed. I have talked about this a little in pass but not much to this day it's still hard on me.

Listen people get tested okay I know they have came a long way but people are still getting this virus and people are still spreading it. Use condoms its simple thing to do so just do it.

I want to dedicate this post to my friend Neil and all those who we have lost to aids.

Click on pic for Aids Info!

Pervert I am

2011-11-30T09:56:00.001-05:00

Yesterday I made a comment on facebook on someone's post about Michael Jackson doctor being sent up the river for 4 years for killing him. First let me say what I said in the comment and this is just my thoughts like them or not then I will tell you the backlash I got for saying what I said. I said that the doctor shouldn't go to jail he should be paid a million dollars and give him a handshake and say thanks for taking out a child molester.

Well that got me some nasty comments and a few emails so let me explain a little bit on why I feel this way. I don't 8 or 10 years ago we were ready to throw his ass in jail for touching kids. He made a circus out of the California court system and in the end he paid off the family of the boy he touched and we all was ready to nail his ass to the cross. Then he up and dies and now we want to make like that never happen. Like he is a god or something.

I'm sorry but this crap of him touching little boys happen to many times for it not to be true and to pay 2 families off to make it go away to me is as much as admitting that you did it. I wouldn't have care if it would cost me ever dime I had I would have never paid anybody off if I didn't do it. Now this doctor I think only thing that should have happen to him is they should have taken his doctor rights but that's it.

Michael Jackson was a great singer and performer but come on he wasn't a god and he couldn't even hold a candle to Elvis and there is another icon that killed himself if you ask me and I am a big Elvis fan. But Michael Jackson is as guilty as the doctor is he wanted and the doctor gave it to him and now he's not here. I personally think that only reason the judge gave him 4 years cause of Michael's family.

Now that's just my thoughts right wrong I stand behind them I get really pissed when someone hurts a child or an animal and really get pissed when someone has money and buys there way out of it. Now I got a few emails yesterday and some nasty comments about my thoughts on Michael Jackson and at first it didn't bother me but then it got personal and it pissed me off.

One person who was on my friends list but isnt anymore said that I had some nerve speaking about Michael Jackson that way when all I was was a prevert myself. I ask him to explain and he went on to tell me I was pervert who talks about nudity and sex all the time and post pics of gay guys kissing and such. That I needed help cause he thinks I am addicted to porn and jacking off.

Had another accuse me of about the same and also said I was going to hell for being gay that I wasn't suppose to sleep with man as I do a women. I hate when they try to quote the bible and have no clue of what they are trying to say. I admit I do talk about nudity alot but its a part of who I am and I am comfortable with my body and I don't look at it as a bad thing. I know most of the world does and wants to keep it hide but thats them not me.

Prevert if I'm a prevert cause I like porn and cause I'm not a chicken and I admit I like jacking off just as much as I like sex then I guess I am. I personally feel there is nothing wrong with porn as long as the people doing it wants to do it and there of age then do it and I'll watch. See the differece between me and Michael Jackson is I like guys he liked boys. So you want to call me a prevert cause I admit that I'm gay and I like jacking off I like having sex with guys and I love watching porn then by all means call me a pervert.

Least I don't hurt kids and I'm alive!

To All My Friends

2011-11-24T08:37:00.002-05:00

Thankful

2011-11-23T02:42:00.000-05:00

With Thanksgiving being tomorrow I thought I would do a post on what I am thankful for. I am thankful for Kadin for him coming into my life and helping me out of a dark period I'm not sure I would be alive today if our paths wouldn't crossed. I am thankful he puts up with me and all my drama and bullshit I am thankful that he forgave me when I hurt him really bad all I know is I will never hurt him again. Kadin I love you I love everything about you thank you for loving me.

I am thankful for most of my family my mom, dad, brother and sister. I am thankful that Tyler is still here with us after his motorcycle wreck. I am thankful me and dad are getting along and we can agree to disagree on something's but know we love each other. Thankful for my mom she has been my rock for as long as I been alive and still to this day when I need her she is right there. I am thankful for my friends the ones I know personally and the ones I made through this blog and facebook.

I am thankful to all the men and women who serve you what most of us can't and I thank you for that. I am thankful for my job and doing what I love doing helping animals thank you Mr & Mrs Cate for believing in me and for letting me run your shelter. Thankful for my co-workers I work with the best ladies in the world. I am thankful for nascar even though I don't always agree with your policy's. I am thankful for coffee don't know what I do without it. I am really thankful for the police officer who reminds me that its still against the law for me to run down the street naked on New Year's Eve!

Condoms

2011-11-17T10:32:00.003-05:00

I know I did a post about this before but looks like I need to do it again. Got an email from a young man who ask me when me and Kadin make love do we use condoms? I know some don't agree with us but its ok but no we don't use condoms. When we first met we did and maybe that first year but when we made a commitment to each other we stop using them. This is out choice and it may not work for everyone but it does for us.

Now let me say this to the boy who sent them email I promised I wouldn't use your name but I do want to talk about some of the things you address in your email. First off you should always use a condom if your having random sex never take a chance of getting sex it's just not worth it. Go down to your local gay center and volunteer to work with the local aids chapter you will learn quick about using a condom.

I'm not one to preach about how to live your life mines wasn't perfect and I did stupid stuff that could have came back and bit me in the ass I got lucky I guess. But now that I am a little older I have learned a lot and if me and Kadin did every spilt I would use a condom with somebody new and even after we started dating up to a year then I would discuss the issues with who I was with.

Look young guys out there it's simple you want to hang around a while and have fun and random sex until you find the right guy then wrap it up remember your jewel can kill you if you don't take care of it!

Wrap it up!

Jimmie Johnson

2011-11-16T11:12:00.007-05:00

I'm going to talk about something today that I think most of you least like about me but it is my blog and it's one of my loves so I have to talk about it NASCAR! Before I get into what I really want to post about I want to say something about Kyle Busch and what he did in Texas I'm not going to say he was right but I understand do I think he handle it wrong of course I do but to keep bitching about it whats the point? Kyle understands now he was wrong and I think he learn a hard lesson.He had to sit out a weekend of racing he was fined 50,000 dollars for his actions and now Mars/M&M's pulled there sponsorship off his car last weekend and this weekend and will decide later if they want to be on his car next season. I hears Z-Line designs told Joe Gibbs they want Denny in the 18 car this weekend and not Kyle. I have to give props to Interstate Batteries for standing up for Kyle. People saying he needs to be kicked out of nascar that's bullshit he made a mistake haven't we all. He is the best in nascar and that scares people you could put that boy on a tricycle and he would find a way to win.This weekend in Miami/Homestead is the end of the nascar season and I hate it but they do need a break. Also this weekend will end an era that nascar has never seen before and maybe never will again. I'm talking about Jimmie Johnson his regain of nascar champion will come to and end. I know there is a lot of people out there that are ready to see it end but for me I could handle another one. Don't get me wrong he is not leaving nascar and he will be champion again soonJust he has done something that nobody in nascar has ever done he has one the championship 5 years in a year he is the only one that has ever done that and I think that will be a record hard to break. Don't matter if you like him or not you have to give props to him and his crew for accomplishing that. I personally am a Jimmie fan cause Jeff Gordon believe in him so much he brought him into the business and put up some of his own money and look at the pay out. So thanks Jimmie Johnson for the past 5 years as the nascar champion it was a great run! Can't wait for next year to start another run!
For the record if your wondering who I'm pulling for to win this year Carl Edwards or Tony Stewart well I say come on Carl Edwards I pulling for you!

Monday Monday

2011-11-14T11:49:00.004-05:00

This morning when I stopped at the 7-11 to get some gas and coffee I was watching people going in and out of the store nothing strange or out of place just the normal hustle in the mornings going on. I walk inside to get a cup of coffee and for the record 7-11 on Mantaee ave close to 75th has the best coffee. Anyway I was standing there getting my coffee again watching the people.

I'm standing there and I see a lot of guys in suits heading to work and it got me thinking man that is so not me. I look at myself and I have on a t-shirt cargo shorts and flip flops didn't want to mess with the hair to much so I threw on a ball cap that's how I'm dressed for work. I think about the few jobs I've had since I left school and for the most part there wasn't any dress codes.
I worked at a rehab for injured people and there is was water therapy so I wore shorts t-shirt flip flops and a speedo. There was the nursing home I work at and there it was scrubs and a pair of crocks of course there was the short stint where I worked as a go-go boy in Ybor City and there it was shorts until I got there then is was sexy underwear or a jock strap. Most of my jobs either was little bit of clothes or something comfortable clothes.

Don't get me wrong some guys look really hot in suits its just not me. I wear a suit it's normally for something really special or it's cause someone died. I couldn't think of getting up everyday having to put on a suit and tie. Hell I only own 2 suits I couldn't even think of having like 8 to 10 of them. I guess someone has to do it just glad it's not me and not at my job.

Have a Great Monday!

Penn State

2011-11-10T13:11:00.003-05:00

I wanted to do a post about what's going on at Penn State. I really pissed at some of the news stations and some of the things I'm seeing online. Jerry Sandusky is a sicko plain and simple but say that he is gay and what he did is a gay crime is right down bullshit! Jerry Sandusky said he's not gay hell he is married but these news media and online gay bashers wants to turn it into a sick gay thing.

First off its a proven fact that most child molesters are middle age white men that are married with children of there own so trying to bring the gays into this is just wrong. Being a gay man myself the last thing I think of is some little boy I want a man with man equipment that works! What Jerry is what most child molesters are and trying to plain the gays is just wrong.

What the focus needs to be on first is the children that he has hurt I guess there adults now that man need so help we need to focus on that first and get them the help they need. Next is making sure this creep cant hurt any other kids. Next we need to make damn sure that we got everyone involved in this. Do I feel bad about Joe getting fired hell no if he knew anything he should have went straight to the police. I think there is more heads need to role out of Penn State.

It's a damn shame that there seems to be so many that knew about this and just turn there head and walk away. If I went to Penn State to be honest I would be ashamed right now. Penn State was a great school with a great name and now look when it could have been stopped years ago. Listen media people and all you religion nuts out there stop turning this into a gay thing okay cause its not its the case of a church going married man being a sicko!

My thoughts on this topic anyway!

Here is a good story click on pic it will take your there!

http://onwardstate.com/2011/11/07/how-penn-state-broke-my-heart/

Some Plans

2011-11-07T10:00:00.000-05:00

In 3 weeks Thanksgiving will be on us wasn't sure what we were doing this year Kadin and I haven't really talked about it with all this baby talk going on. Well until last we started talking about it and he wants to stay home and invite his family and my family to our house for Thanksgiving so what Kadin wants Kadin gets so its Thanksgiving at our house help me!

No just kidding we have Christmas at our house before and really with his folks being here and his grandma is here and my mom lives here only one who has to travel would be my dad and he likes it so I think it would be best if we did it at our house this year. Kadin did ask me and Tyler last night if we could least keep our clothes on until after his parents leaves lol.

Speaking on Tyler he sure is cloud 9 with this new boy from winn dixie Max. We found out last night he is a virgin nothing wrong with being a virgin I think it's great really but Max is 18 I don't know how he stops himself to be honest he's as cute as a doll and could get anyone he wanted but he said he wants his first time to be with the right person.

I know what yall are thinking cause trust me Kadin and I was thinking about it also. Kadin talked with Tyler last night after Max went home and basically told him that Max is a different kind of boy and not just a piece of ass and he should think really hard if he only wants sex with him he should just let Max go.

He told Kadin that with Max it felt different and he wanted to see where is goes and he wasn't pushing Max for sex he said he knew Max was different cause he felt it. He said when they do it he wants it to be when Max wants it and wants Max to remember his first time. Wow I'm shocked a little my baby brother finally growing up maybe?

Anyway Yall got any Thanksgiving plans?

Grandma Knows

2011-11-03T22:00:00.001-04:00

Tonight we had dinner with Kadin's grandma and I just love her she has always been nice to me. His parents are getting better but there still is something there I guess they don't trust me all the way yet even though we been together for over 3 years now. But his grandma has always welcome me with open arms and if she seen something she didn't like she tell me how it is.

So tonight she had us over for dinner like she normally does she normally has us over a couple times a month and we have her over for dinner and she always comes. But tonight she could feel something wasn't right so she finally said you boys going to tell me what's going on or do I have to get my boots on and kick it out of you. Kadin look at me and I looked and him and she said spill it boys.

So I spoke up and said Grandma Butler were having issue for the last couple weeks. She said okay what about? I said Kadin wants a baby and I'm not sure. She was quiet for a second then she said honey you don't want to have a baby it messes up your figure she said look at my ass I still haven't lost it from carrying all those babies. We both just laugh at here and I said well we don't have to worry about that.

Then she said look you boys do what you think is right but let me give you my 2 cents. I think you both should both think long and hard about it cause not everyone needs children in there life sometime they can do more good in the world if they don't have kids. Having kids can but a strain on your relationship and some people just can't make it through and they end up hating each other.

She said I seen this preacher on the Oprah show some time back and he said that gay people are God's chosen people and I believe that cause everytime I look you Kadin I know that God gave us a gift and being chosen by God maybe he didn't what you to have children. She said this is just my 2 cents and if you both want them then by all means have them. But look at you 2 right now your not happy and you been fighting over this just think about what I said okay?

We talked on the way home and I have to say we both felt a lot better than we have felt. We decided to talk some more this weekend about this and she gave us more think about. Grandma's are awesome and they put things in a different point of view to make you think. I am just so happy she is so open minded and that she loves Kadin so much that all she wants for him to be happy that's more than most parents do!

I'm on Twitter

2011-11-02T12:34:00.004-04:00

Click on the Birdie or here Ryryt87

The 60's

2011-11-01T11:08:00.008-04:00

This pass weekend I watched this documentary on the 60's and 70's I have to admit I've done some reading on them times and thought man glad I didn't grow up in them times. Never really gave it much thought until I see these documentaries they were way better than any book I read about them decades. I never realized home many things happen then that change the way we are today.

First off the music was awesome and it meant something nothing like the crap today. I think that's the main reason I listen to country and not the new country I don't care for it much but that's a different story. The music in the 60's had meaning and stood for something and I have to be honest was just fucking awesome!

I mean you had Woodstock at the end of the 60's and people just being themselves and enjoying the music and the freedom and the open nudity there was awesome wish I could have been there for that who wouldn't want to be there for 3 days of music and peace. There was so many great musicians in the 60's my favorite I would say was The Animals.

I remember when I was a little boy going through my parents albums and coming across The Animals and seeing there lead singer and I was in love wow what a cutie. When I watch some of there videos I was like wow I bet he was at the top of the gay boys of the 60's list. I bet there was a lot of wanking to him. I know there was other cute guys back them but he would have been my pick!

Then of course you had all the political and social movements the anti-war movement, the rise of feminism, the hispanic movement, african american civil rights movement all good cause but the one most important to me would have been The Gay Rights Movement. Can you believe by law gays weren't allowed congregate together and places were raided on a regular basis and gay people were arrested.

Thank God on a June night in 1969 LGBT people said enough was enough and stood up for there rights. This was the first time the community protested openly in the streets and this was know as the Stonewall Riots. Thanks to our LGBT community back then for standing up so every June we can have our Gay Pride events just remember what happen there in the 60's that lets us be who we are today. Would have loved to stand there with you!

So to those who grew up in the 60's cherish it looks like it was a blast with a lot of happy with a little sad. A lot of flower power a lot of love and some great music, movies, tv shows it was your time and you did a great job to pass it along to us. I just hope some day I can look back at my decade and say damn we did some good to help people and made some changes that made a difference!

Peace!

Happy Halloween

2011-10-31T09:51:00.003-04:00

Halloween is on the top of the holidays it starts all the fun holidays. First you have Halloween to get the party started then you have Thanksgiving a time to spend with family and friends then onto Christmas more fun with family and friends and then wrap the party up with New Years really love this time of year!

I am a big fan of scary movies hard to pick a favorite cause I like all them even the old black and white ones are cool. But this time of year I have to give props to Halloween and Michael Myers what and awesome slasher movie I like all of them but my favorite out of the series would be the first one and Halloween H20 I think they were the best.

I just wonder what Michael would have thought if he walked in on something like this? Think maybe he just needed a little sex and he wouldn't been so pissed maybe?

Happy Halloween!

Thanks Dolly

2011-10-27T13:15:00.007-04:00

First off I want to say thanks for all the comments on the post below and your thoughts on that topic I will keep you updated on the meeting and what we decide to do. There was a couple comments that kinda pissed me off a little but I'm going to let it go cause I did ask for your thoughts good or bad so it would be two faced of me to bring up negative comments. So again thanks for your thoughts on the topic.

Okay I want to do a little post about a great singer and songwriter and business lady and I'm a big fan of hers Ms Dolly Parton. I just love her she tells it the way it is and how she feels about things and if you don't like it oh well she won't lose sleep over it. She is a great songwriter just listen to her songs and yes she has written most of her own songs. Most of them have to do with her childhood of something she's been through in life and they just are heart warming make you cry type songs. From one of your biggest fans Dolly your awesome and loved by many thanks for all you do!

Am I Ready

2011-10-25T11:25:00.000-04:00

Last week Kadin and I got into this big fight to the point where it got pretty heated and a lot of yelling back and forth. Now some people would say couples do this all the time but you have to understand we never have got into a fight like this. We've had disagreements in the pass but nothing as bad as this all the telling and sleeping in different rooms just killed me inside.

I know your asking what could have been so bad that it ended up into this big fight. Well with Kadin's ok he said I could post about it cause he wanted to see what everyone else thought. So please give us your thoughts on this don't matter who you side with I'm not going to come down on you or anything like that just need your thoughts.

Kadin has these friends there lesbians now there no problem there cause there good people and I like them also and they have always treated me good. The problem is they came over and they wanted to know if we could work together for making kids? I was like what do you mean? They said they would both get pregnant with mine and Kadins sperm but they wouldn't tell us who used who's.

They also said that they would give us one baby and they would keep one but didn't want the kids to know who the other parent was. Like if whatever baby we got wouldn't know that one of these girls was there mom or theres wouldn't know if me or Kadin was the dad. I had a problem with this I didn't think it was right that the kids should know and the kids should be treated like siblings.

They are totally against this and said they wouldn't go through with it unless we agree. Kadin wants a baby really bad and I told him I would want to know who's sperm was used and I would want the baby to know who there mom was. And if I'm being honest I'm not sure I want to raise a kid now I did want to a few years ago but now I'm not sure. Well Kadin got pissed at me and we fought over this and still haven't come to a conclusion yet.

I know this weekend the girls are coming over for dinner and were going to discuss it more. I think this is good maybe they had time to think on it. Kadin is worried cause he thinks they will change there mind and pick another couple to do. I told him I would want to know what one is mine just incase of health issues and I don't see why we can't raise one and they raise one but we be in each other lives. Am I wrong?

Reason / Help

2011-10-20T12:23:00.003-04:00

This is the reason I live in Florida this is what are winters are mainly like! Yeah you can hate me now before your ass deep in snow! haha

Okay Kadin's mom fixes this potato soup and it's like his favorite and I want to try to fix some this weekend so anybody got some good tater soup receipts let me hear them!

Later!

Bullied

2011-10-18T10:56:00.001-04:00

Last week I got an email from someone in my past I was shocked when I first seen the name and then got a little pissed thought what could he want from me. I ask Kadin to read it first and if it had to do with hate or with bullying then I didn't want to see it. So he read it and said I think you should read it. So I sit down and I read it and boy did I get a shock before I go into the email I need to tell you a little about the person who wrote it.

Back in school I was bullied I've wrote about this before I just haven't really went into details on it. This event I'm talking about happen back in the 6th grade. It was a new school year and I was the chosen one to be picked on being short back then wearing hearing aids and glasses I was the prime pick for the school bullies. Being called four eyes, queer, retard, fag was a daily thing for me besides the punching and whatever else they wanted to do.

A couple weeks went by and we had this new kid start and the attention went off of me and on to this kid. He was chunky kid and boy did the bullies pick on that and ran with it. I felt sorry for this kid but deep down also I was glad he came cause it took them off me. I knew it was wrong to feel this but I did. Life got hard for this kid and the bullies never stopped I would see this kid and the sad look in his face but I didn't do anything to stop them from attacking him.

One day at lunch I was sitting alone like I always did and I didn't see this kid or the bullies. I was eating lunch when they walked in and came right to my table and started messing with me one of them took my tomato juice and dump it on my head. They all laughed and walked away the teacher who was a bitch came over and all she said was go clean yourself up she seen what happen but didn't do a damn thing about. I heard later she got fired for not stopping kids from bullying.

Anyway I went to the bathroom to clean the juice off my head and clothes and I heard someone crying so I walk over to the stall and there was Todd the chunky kid sitting on the floor crying. I ask him what's wrong he looked up at me said I can't take it anymore Ryan I just can't take it they made me lick the toilet I just can't take it anymore. I could see the look in his eyes I knew he was thinking about doing something bad to himself and I said Todd please don't do whatever your thinking I can fix this.

He ask how can you fix this they pick on you too. I said I'll think of something and I did! I came up with a way to get them off of Todd and back on me I knew I could handle it I knew I had the strength that Todd and many other kids didn't have to get through the bullying. I told Todd if you want these guys to stop fucking with you then you have to pick a fight with me. He said he couldn't do that and I said do you want to keep getting pick on?

The next at lunch Todd came in with a different look on his face I knew he thought about it and game was on. He came up to me and said give me your lunch I said no he called me some names and said give it to me and by this time other kids were looking at us. He said he was going punch me in the face if I didn't give up my lunch and I said no by then the bullies were standing behind him telling him yeah hit the queer.

I knew Todd didn't have it in him to hit me I could see the look on his face and I knew he didn't want to. Todd said I cant hit him he has glasses on one of the bullies smack me said he don't know so punch him. Todd was almost at tears I look at him said do it Todd do it! Bam he hit me hard and I fell on the ground then one of the bullies said stomp on his glasses and Todd did. From that day on they never picked on Todd again.

The following year Todd was gone I heard his dad transfer again with his job. I never really talked to him again after that day I think maybe he wanted too but was scared if the bullies found out they would go back to picking on him so he just never did talked to me again. That was until last week when I got an email from him.

He said he been trying to find me and finally found my facebook and had to email me. He said that day he hit me has haunted him for years and they hell I went through after that day. He wanted to apologize for putting all that hate on me and wanted to tank me also cause he didn't think he could have made it a few more days if I didn't stick up for him. He told me that what I did for him meant the world to him and believes he is alive today cause of me.

He hopes that I could forgive him for being a coward and for the hell I went through cause he wasn't man enough to take it. I wrote him back gave him the link to this blog told him I would write about and would have my responses on here. So Todd I forgave you the day it happen and I never felt any anger or hate toward you I felt we both did what we had to do to survive. I don't think your a mean person I didn't think that back then and I don't think that now.

Thank you for looking me up and for telling me sorry. Glad things turn out good for you and them punks that bullied us back then yeah well they didn't amount to much now did they? All is forgiven Todd we made it!

The Weekend / Dan Wheldon

2011-10-17T11:44:00.002-04:00

This past weekend was one of the best I've had in a very long time. It was Kadin's first weekend off in like forever I mean the whole weekend. We went out again on a couple date nights we haven't done that since we started dating a few years ago and I have to say it was awesome! He picked one night on where we went for dinner and what we did after and I picked the next night like I said it was awesome! I didn't think it was possible but I totally fell deeper in love with him. I know there is a God cause he blessed me with the most amazing man in the world!

We got to talk a lot also something we haven't done in a very long time. I mean just sit and talk without phones, facebook and everything else that seem to take up our times. One thing that we discuss was facebook and how much I am on there and such and I didn't think about it but I am on there a lot and I think it may have hurt this blog. It was easier just to say what I wanted on there than to do a post. So I'm going to be backing off a little on facebook and focus on this blog and my family a little more. No I'm not stopping just won't be posting a lot of facebook just every now and them.

I want to close today with my respects to Dan Wheldon family and friends and to all those Indy racing fans. Don't matter if your a Nascar fan like me or Indy or Formula one fan we all feel this lost. Dan and his family didn't live that far from me and I got to meet him once at a bagel shop in downtown St Pete he was a really good guy and this sport will miss him!

God Speed Dan!
Dan and his Wife Susie.

Love

2011-10-14T07:19:00.000-04:00

I do it for the love of animals the fact no matter how bad they are treated they still want to show love. I feel my calling was to work at this shelter and I would do it for free. What is unconditional love? Look at your dog or cat and you will find your answer!Have a Great Weekend!

We Can Never Forget

2011-10-12T06:08:00.003-04:00

Contest Time

2011-10-11T10:31:00.006-04:00

WE HAVE A WINNER!!!! CONGRATS JIMM SEND ME AN EMAIL!!

Okay to win the rainbow disco ball for your auto be the first one to answer these questions right and it's yours! Either leave a comment here of email me the answers to ryryt87@yahoo.com and please put the date and time on your response so I can make sure the right person gets the prize! So you know all the answers to these questions have been in the blog over the last 8 years!

Good Luck!

1. Where did Kadin and I meet?
2. How many siblings do I have?
3. Where are my parents from?
4. Other than Reed and Jeff who is my favorite Nascar driver?
5. Who was the first boy I had sex with?

Fun Weekend & Helping a Friend

2011-10-10T10:20:00.002-04:00

Had a really good weekend just wish it would have been longer. Saturday Kadin and I went horseback riding it's been a while for me and I was wanting to do it. We get out there and they were calling for rain all day but so far nothing we decided to go riding anyway. So we picked out the horses we wanted and off we went. Of course we get about half a mile away and the sky opens up we didn't care we just rode in the rain!

We get back home soak and wet take off what clothes we had on in the garage and I couldn't handle myself Kadin look so damn good standing there butt ass naked. So we started making out right there and oh damn it was feeling so good then the garage door open it was Tyler and his friends coming in so yeah there we were on the hood of the truck naked getting it on. Tyler was like damn you have a room his friends were like hot dudes!

Saturday night was going great then we get a phone call from one of Kadin's friends ask if we could come pick him up he was at 7-11 using the pay phone. First thing why is he at 7-11 using a pay phone when he has a cell phone and why anit he driving over here himself. Found out the answers when we pulled up. Him and his boyfriend had been in another fight yes I used the word another.

This time it was a little worse than just words it got physical. Once we got him back to the house and he told his story I wanted him and Kadin did also wanted him to call the police but he wouldn't do it. They been together for a year I guess and it's been rough from the start I told him that nobody has the right to lay a hand on you no matter how mad or how much you think you screw up nobody has the right to hit you.

I told him me and Kadin been into so good fights but they were just words and even thought the words hurt we never raised a hand to each other and never will. I'm not going to go into much details cause its his story not mine to tell. Just know he got out and Kadin is putting him on a plane back home today! But thinking about it and being around it before with a few friend this happens a lot not only with women but with men also and I think gay domestic violence is coming more common.

Look people love is not being hit or beat up by your partner ok, Love is not being scared to talk or to voice your thoughts. Love is not being used just for sex. Nobody has the right to lay a hand on you no matter what and if your boyfriend hits you that's not love ok! There are people that can help you but the smartest thing to do is get out don't stay and keep getting abused ok trust me they say they never will do it again but they do and it gets worse and no matter what they say that's not love!

Here is a couple links if you find yourself needing help!

Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgendered Domestic Violence

Contest Coming

2011-10-06T12:40:00.002-04:00

One day next week I will have some kind of contest to give away this rainbow disco ball. It's 2" around and can hang anywhere I have one hanging from my rearview mirror Kadin does also. But I will be giving one away for free no strings or anything attach won't cost you one red cent it will be totally free shipping also. Check in next week for more details on how to win this rainbow disco ball!
Have a Fabulous Weekend!

Not in Public

2011-10-05T11:19:00.004-04:00

Okay yall know me and know I love porn think it's the best thing on the market today! But saying that I think there is a time and a place for it and in a car at the drive thru at mcdonalds is not the place for it. Yes you read that right this morning I am sitting in the drive thru and this car in front of me has a porno playing. I am like oh no he don't have a porno tape on this early in the morning and in car that rims cost more than the car!

Now these dvd players in vehicles I think were put there to keep kids in check while traveling. Just like everything else people will use them for other things but porn in public I have an issue with this. See this is why nudity in public is look at as a bad thing cause stupid people do stupid stuff. I have no problem with sex outside I like it myself but as long as it's in a private place and where no kids will see.We make nudity a bad thing cause first thing people think of when they see someone naked is sex. Nudity should be a beautiful thing the human body should be look at as beauty but cause of the way we were brought up we make the human body a nasty thing. Then we have idiots like this guy this morning driving around with porn on his dvd player. I guess it is what it is and public nudity will happen with different causes or where its allowed.
Maybe I would feel totally different if the porn the guy was watching was gay porn instead of straight porn! lol

The Smoke

2011-10-03T10:37:00.004-04:00

When I was younger I use to write poems a lot. Some I posted on here years ago but for some reason I just stopped. No reason why really they just stopped coming to me like they did when I was younger. But last night while I was in the shower one came to me just out of the blue and I had to jump out of the shower to write it down.

Then this morning after I got back from the dentist I was checking my email and a friend of mine Sam said he thought about me Saturday night and had to draw what was in his mind. He said he had this vision in his head of me in a shower now how strange is that? Oh here is my Poem and Sam's drawing. Let me know what you think?

I see the flames spreading everywhere
through the smoke I see him standing there
I hold him in my arms so tight
I close my eyes a cool breeze blows
across our naked bodies in the dark.

Outside his reach is my concern
Somewhere I know a fire burns
Through the smoke I see him standing there
In his arms I feel safe and secure
I close my eyes as the cool breeze blows.

The Weekend

2011-09-30T05:58:00.000-04:00

Have a Great Weekend!

Executed by Lethal Injection

2011-09-28T12:59:00.002-04:00

I know I've talked about this before but it's my blog so I'm going to talk about it again. Today at 4pm Florida is scheduled to execute a man. Now I still don't know how I feel about this I used to say if he did the crime he must do the time and if he took life his must be takin also. An eye for an eye I guess is what they say I still am pulled that way I'm sorry but that's how I feel.

I think if your put on trail and your found guilty without any doubt at all and you killed someone then your life should be taken from you. I want to make damn sure that there is not doubt at all before we put a man to his death. In the old days they found you guilty then you were hung quickly. Now a days people bitching and crying about rights ya know when they took a persons life did they give a fuck about his rights?

See what I'm saying how it's hard not to say yeah he is guilty he should die. This case kinda pissed me off you need to read it to understand why it pisses me off. 30 fucking years on death row come that is way to long for someone to sit on death row. 30 years Officer Pena family had to live without him because Manuel killed him. Read the story tell me what you think I'm pissed!

STARKE -- Manuel Valle, who killed a Coral Gables police officer in 1978, is scheduled to be executed by lethal injection at 4 p.m. today at Florida State Prison.

Valle, 61, shot Officer Louis Pena, 41, in the neck during a traffic stop more than 33 years ago in Coral Gables.

If the sentence is carried out, Valle, who has been on death row almost 30 years, will be the 70th execution since the death penalty was reinstated in 1976.

Pena’s son, daughter and former wife live in Lee County.

Louis P. Pena, 53, of Lehigh Acres and his sister, Jeneane Skeen, 46, of Buckingham made the five-hour drive to Starke on Tuesday.

Pena says their mother, Inez Afanador, 73, of Lehigh Acres will not attend the execution because she is recovering from back surgery.

Martin Grossman, 45, of Pinellas Park was the 69th execution on Feb. 16, 2010. Grossman, then 19, killed Florida Wildlife Officer Peggy Park, 26, in 1984.

http://www.news-press.com/article/20110928/CRIME/110928005/Convicted-cop-killer-Manuel-Valle-served-last-meal?odyssey=tab%7Cmostpopular%7Ctext%7CFRONTPAGE

Why is He Naked

2011-09-26T10:18:00.001-04:00

With all the crap going on in the world today I thought I would do a post that would make you laugh or at least smile. This is about the first and only time Kadin's mom seen me naked. First let me say that Kadin's parents don't like me much they think I am some kind of wild child and that Kadin could do much better than me and on that I would have to agree Kadin could do better than me but I am happy he picked me.

Ya'll know that I like to be naked I was raised a nudist somewhat so being naked is just natural to me. When me and Kadin started dating I told him that I was a somewhat nudist so before he moved in with me when he would come over I said I might naked so you have to deal with that. Kadin got use to it after a while and finally started being as open as I was about nudity.

Still blows him away a little that I will be naked around my parents and my uncle. Though he has relax on that also course mom didn't give him much choice she said get over it Kadin your penis is not the first I seen you think I'm knocking on doors when I come in your crazy I've raised 2 boys and yours is just another penis. He has got use to it and is more open to being naked in front of others.

So yeah me and Kadin had been living together for about 2 months and like I said I knew his parents didn't care for me that much but I was like these people will like me no matter how much it hurts dammit! We had them over dinner we took them out to dinner did everything to make them see I'm not that bad of a person just a little redneckish from time to time. They acted like they like me but we both knew it was an act.

Then came the day that really made it worse. Kadin said he was going shopping with his mom and would be back later. I'm like ok babe have a good day I'm going to lay out and soak up some sun. Off Kadin went to pick up his mom and off went my underwear and out by the pool I went. A little bit later my uncle comes over and he ask if I had any plans I said no he ask if he could use my car cause he had his towed in to be fixed.

So I gave him the keys and off he went and I went back to tanning my ass lol Well Kadin had to use the bathroom really bad and he wont use a public bathroom so he came back to the house. He told me after what happen after the shock of his mom seeing me naked. He said they came back to the house was going to have his mom wait in the car cause he knew I would be tanning naked and didn't want her seeing and fraeking out.

When pulled up in the driveway my car wasn't there so he thought I was gone so he had his mom come in with him so she didn't have to wait in the car. I was out by the pool so I didn't see or here them come in. I was getting thirsty so I got to something to drink I open the sliding door that leads into the kitchen and bam there was his mom!

I am standing there with an ipod on and nothing else she look at me she look up and look down and then she screamed. I think I even screamed I went back out to get a towel and next thing I knew Kadin was there and I came back in and he was asking his mom what happen she said there is a naked man out there. He said mom that's Ryan she like why is he naked? He said you were naked I was like I was tanning!

So yeah that was the big day Kadin's mom seen me naked and I can say it didn't make thing any better between us now when she comes over she always call's first and ask if we have clothes on. One day when she was here Tyler came out in his underwear and she like freak over that. So we are like white trash to her she has ask Kadin why him? He tells her the same thing over and over cause I love him and I love you too boo!

Have a good Monday!

For Kadin

2011-09-23T07:01:00.000-04:00

I know living with me ain't always easy
I dam up emotions some men just let flow
But boy when you're not by my side I feel a part of me has died
'Cause I love you more than you'll ever know

More than life more than I've ever loved before
It's absurd and beyond words
I couldn't want you more
And when I try to pour my hear out to you
I'm not sure it shows
That I love you more than you'll ever know

I'm sure you've heard it said hearts have windows
But mine has doors a painful past has closed
Unless someday they open wide revealing feelings locked inside
I'll love you more than you'll ever know

More than life more than I've ever loved before
It's absurd and beyond words
I couldn't want you more
And when I try to pour my hear out to you
I'm not sure it shows
That I love you more than you'll ever know

Even when I pour my heart out to you
I'm not sure it shows
That I love you more than you'll ever know
Yes I love you more than you'll ever know

Broken Trust & Help

2011-09-21T10:06:00.001-04:00

Trust a small word with a lot of meaning. Something as a child I had a lot of but as I went through my teenage years I learn that trust is something people will use to hurt you. I have over the year lost trust in many people and don't trust a lot of people anymore. My list of people I trust is very small. Most would say this is not a good way to live but honest I am happy with the few I trust and I'm happy with my life.

I also think there is different ways to trust. Let me speak of a few that to me are different. One is like the trust I have with Kadin & Tyler I can talk to them about anything and I know they would never tell anyone or turn what I said around to hurt me. I trust them with everything including my life. There are a few friends that come close to this status also but I haven't yet trusted them like that yet and I know I need too.

Another form of trust to me is sharing not deep dark secrets but like ok nudity for an example. I don't mind my friends seeing me naked or I them sharing one's naked body is something that I think is an honor and should be treated as such. Most people look at nudity as nasty cause that's the way we were raised to hide the body and the nasty parts well I don't think there are nasty parts on people and teaching this is just wrong.

So speaking on the trust topic I have a problem and I want your thoughts on how you would handle it if it was you.

About 4 or 5 years ago there was this big blow up in my family I posted about it before but I'll bring you up to speed so you don't have to go back and try to find it. I have this aunt by marriage been in the family for years that is a 2 face bitch. She acted like me being gay wasn't that big of a deal until I turn my back and then she rip me up and tore me to pieces.

What she did was used me being gay to get everyone to turn against us and divide the family so to speak. She accused me touching her kids and that just crushed me to the point I felt so bad about who I was that I thought it would be easier if I either ran away or just killed myself so my parents didn't have to deal with a sicko as a son. Course mom knowing me as well as she does knew I was having these feelings and we talked.

Now that's not the issue here is the issue I believe in karma and I think sometimes karma can be a real mean ugly bitch. Well karma found my aunt and has hit her hard. About a year ago they found a brain tumor and they did take it out but she hasn't been the same. I hear she is getting worse and I have to be honest I don't feel the least bit sorry for her and I'll probably burn in hell for that but I just can't feel sorry for someone who has hurt me so bad.

The issue now is my uncle my mom's brother never really said anything against me but didn't defend me either. The last time I talk to him was at my grandma's funeral about 3 years ago. I didn't talk to his fat wife bitch but I did speak to him. But haven't since I been thinking about him lately and I know he loves my aunt he has to cause he put up with here for years and as much as I don't give a shit about her should I call him? Let me know what your thoughts are please.

To Blog or Not to Blog

2011-09-19T10:47:00.003-04:00

I was going to stop blogging and facebooking just walk away. Many reason on why I was doing this and I will speak about a few of them. First was a threat I got now in my time of blogging over the years I have gotten many threats and I didn't care I got use to them. But this threat was a little more than someone trying to be funny or scare me.

This person went into details on things and pointed out places that only me or my family would know so it kinda freak me out and I don't mind if someone threatens me but leave my family out of it. I turn everything over to the proper authorities and that's all I can speak of it for now.

The other reason I was going to stop blogging is I feel I don't have as much time to put into it like I did before I mean hell I been writing since I was 16 years old I thought everyone was getting tired of what I had to say. To me seem like the post were lacking something and I couldn't figure out what and then I did. They were missing the teenage drama I was like wow I finally did grow up didn't I?

I got some emails asking me whats going on what does the blog post mean goodbye? There were two that touched me. One from a kid named Riley he said he was 15 and found my blog and has been reading it. Said he hasn't comment cause he was a little scared said he is still in the closet but my blog gave him hope.

Another guy name Chris ask me to keep blogging that I gave him hope. Said cause of my blog he came out to his parents and after the shock wore off his parents have welcome him with open arms and he just brought home a guy for the first time to meet his parents. He didn't give me and age so I'm thinking he may be 18 to 20 maybe.

After talking with many people about the blog and getting some great advice I decided to keep blogging. I got some great advice from a friend I have know for about 7 years now and I trust him totally and I don't know if he knows this or not so I wanted to say it in a post. Ryan Field thank you for your support over the years thanks for all the advice and more than anything thank you for your friendship!

So I will keep blogging just mat be a little different than what your use to. There may be many post a week maybe one or might not be any. I just going to take a different approach so I don't get burn out on it and still keep it fresh. Also I will take question best to email them to me and from time to time I will pick a few and answer them in a post. The questions can be about anything past post or whats going in the world I'm open to most anything.

Thanks for reading!

Happy Friday

2011-09-16T04:29:00.000-04:00

Community Part 2

2011-09-14T12:49:00.001-04:00

The ambulance shows up takes me to the hospital I had them call my Uncle cause my parents were still together then and lives in Georgia. He came up cause they took me to Tampa General mom of course flew down right away and I was really sick cause I pushed myself way to far when I knew I was getting sick I decided to have another beer instead of taking care of myself.

Mom chew my ass out like moms do and she was right even though I didn't want to hear it. All I was wanting was to get out of here and get back with my friends and party. Well she wasn't having any of that and I was transfer from Tampa to Bradenton so it was closer for everyone and I got a chance to call my friends and tell them where I was at. They said they would come and visit but not a one showed up.

This is when I first met my soulmate the love of my life. Oh I noticed him right away even though my mind was not totally there I still noticed him. He took care of me while I was in the hospital and we talked a lot I still wasn't sure he was gay but I had a feeling. Besides making me feel batter he took my mind off my friends and why they wasn't coming to see me. When I was being let out of the hospital he finally ask me out and I said yes.

Let me jump a few months ahead yall get the idea. I'm with Kadin just started dating he notice a problem as well as mom & dad and they all tried to talk to me but I wasn't hearing it all I wanted to do was go out party do some karaoke and have a few drinks with my friends. I didn't see a problem I didn't feel I had a drinking problem and I could handle it. After coming home a few times a couple sheets in the wind they talked to me about drinking and driving.

Jumping ahead most of you know I crashed a car after coming across the skyway bridge. I was drunk and stupid thank God only one I hurt was myself. I have a fake knee cause of the crash and I'm thankful I'm alive and thankful I didn't hurt anyone. The point of this is while I was laid up in the hospital for months my friends who I consider friends didn't come to see me or even call to check on me. I was starting to see what kind of friends they were as long as I spending they were friends.

Never once did any of them ever come down to visit me at my house I always had to go up there. Most of them didn't have cars or jobs. Speaking of jobs I had my share of jobs that I lost cause I was stupid and thought partying was more important than work. Jobs people would kill for but I dismissed them like I was working at taco bell. While I was laying there in that hospital I was getting a life lesson. I told dad I needed his help cause I needed to learn how to control the drinking.

That's another story sometime and a debate but I will tell you I learn how to control the drinking and it don't control me and never will again. Now I've heard from these so called friends from time to time but not much. I don't consider them friends anymore just people I know. They are creatures of the night and that's not me I am a morning person thanks to dad but that's what I am. They go out every night and drink all the time well that's not me.

I learn there are better things in life other than a night club or the next party. Kadin has taught me about having good times with friends without having to go to a night clubs. Don't get me wrong I as does Kadin like going out now and then but its more then than it is now. There is a little club not far from us it's a straight club but they know me and Kadin are a couple and they don't say anything they always welcome us I go there to karaoke sometimes.

They other one of theses friends I speak of sent me an message on yahoo said I don't want to be your friend anymore. I reply back ok can you tell me why? He said you haven't spoke to me in over a month and I don't know when was the last time we went out. I said to him well you know that goes both ways you haven't called me or email or anything far as going out I don't do that anymore I find better things to do than hang out in a nite club.

He said you change you act like you better than everyone else since you been with Kadin you have become a pussy bitch. I was like ok if you think that then that's fine I am a pussy bitch Kadin's pussy bitch but look I decided to grow up and make something of myself I'm not going to be the 40 year old in the bar that's called a troll the very ones you claim make you sick.

I'm not a club kid and neither are you look at you your 25 years old running from club to club and man to man following these drag queens around and none of you have a pot to piss in. You have a part time job sometimes and none of have a car always looking for rides from club to club. So if you don't want to be my friend cause I decided to grow up and make something of myself then fine cause I really don't want to be your friend cause you never care when I was laid up in the hospital for months anyway!

I checked myself when I wrecked myself remember that!

Sorry

2011-09-13T13:14:00.003-04:00

Sorry I know ya'll being waiting on me to finish the story from yesterday but its going to be least one more day I've been so damn busy today. We have some coyote pups come in one is really sick but I think he will make it. Today also was washing day for the dogs and that's 40 dogs I have to bath. I will finish it I promise cause its a story I've been wanting to tell for a while. To top it off I got into it a little with someone who I thought was my friend from that time area who said I wasn't being a good friend so he wasn't going to be my friend anymore. Also coming up on why I posted again and who changed my mind and what my plans are for more posts.

The Gay Community

2011-09-12T11:55:00.002-04:00

I've had a few people ask me what happen between the time I was with Mikey until I met Kadin. It was kinda a dark time in my life and if you been with me since the start of this blog I bet you could tell with my writings. There was a period of stupid and trusting the wrong people period I really not proud of. But cause my life has been an open book since I was 16 I'll share this with ya'll too some already know the story others know pieces of the story.

My Uncle is the main reason I moved to Florida I am very close to him and he's gay so I always had that in common with him. I won't go into me and Mikey break up and the whys and how comes but after he left I decided I wanted to be single for a while and dip my toes in the gay community. My Uncle told me to be careful that gay community is awesome to be have but can also chew a young boy up and spit him out like bad cum.

Living across the bay from the big gay community at the time I thought just sucked having to cross the skyway bridge everytime I wanted to go out and make new friends. There really no good gay clubs in my area so you had to go up to the StPete/Tampa area. So off I went and my Uncle said if you need me I'm a phone call and 20 minutes away. I'm not gonna name the clubs I went to don't want to promote them same of them just suck now and for that reason I won't speak of them.Didn't take long to make friends I felt like all eyes on me like I was the new piece of meat in town. Felt good really having self esteem issues it was nice to have everybody checking me out. Moving on don't want make this a super long post. I met some guys seem to pretty cool and we became friends. I started dating this local club dj it just didn't feel right with him he was a night person I was a day person. I remember doing things with him that made me feel nasty so you know it had to be bad.

For months I did the back and forth across the bridge or would stay the night with friends up there or whatever I picked up I thought was hot. The problem was I was finding out how much I liked drinking and I knew that in my family we had problems with it on both my parents. But I never turn it down and it started to be an issue. I would get on the juice and I would do crazy shit like stripping and even had sex in bathrooms of gay clubs yeah shit I'm not proud of.

With my immune system the way it is didn't talk long to get sick with the life I was living I remember waking up one morning at a friends house in St. Pete and I couldn't breath I told him best I could call 9-11 he freak out said I can't have them come here you know I can't I said I can't breath I need them he said go down to the corner and I'll call them so they won't come here. So a couple people help me to the corner sit me on a bus bench went across the street to a pay phone called 9-11 and left.

Damn this is gonna be a long post after all I'm gonna have to finish tomorrow sorry look at it as a daytime soap don't make fun of daytime soap cause I love them big big fan of General Hospital!

09-11-11

2011-09-11T00:01:00.000-04:00

I couldn't let this day go by without saying something. It's been 10 years and still to me feels like it was yesterday. I was 14 years old when it happen I was home from school cause I was sick imagine that. I was laying on the sofa and dad was watching the today show I wasn't all the way to sleep yet just getting ready to doze off when dad said that wasn't no commuter plane. I remember asking him what? He said just a plane just hit the trade center in New York I woke back up and seen the smoke and they kept saying on the today show a commuter plane hit the trade center and dad said there to much smoke and the hole is to big it was a jetliner. We all know what happen next.9:30 The house phone started ringing about the same time dads business phone started ringing I answered the house phone it was mom she was like you see that and I said yes she said I'm on my way home I was like ok. Dad said it was work he had to get into the office I said ok mom is headed home he said good tiger I don't want you to be alone kissed me on my forehead he was gone. We didn't see him for a month after that he was in Atlanta for a few hours then they wanted him in Washington. Rest if the year we seen him here and there but not for more a couple days at a time. It's his job so we understood but was scared for us and him at the same time.As I sit and watch that day at the fire and all I felt really sad me and mom sit there and cried and kept watching. I felt so bad for all those who died all for what for hate that's what for religion and hate. All them kids who grew up without one of there parents or maybe even both. Those who jump cause they didn't want to burn and those on the planes that didn't know what was going on I felt sorry for all them and still do. It change everything and everyone that day. Sad part is the hate hasn't stop and I guess never will it's very sad just think what a beautiful and wonderful world this would be if we all just got along and respect each other beliefs.

The End

2011-09-01T09:57:00.003-04:00

New Truck & Fun Weekend!

2011-08-25T11:23:00.005-04:00

Well I just got back from picking up my new truck after looking around for a while I finally found one I like. I totally hate shopping for any kind of cars to be honest. The problem is I see something I like I want it right then and there when Kadin and Dad want to look around so they can get an idea on prices and get a better deal I say why bother cause its gonna be the same in the end anyway.

After looking at I think every SUV on the market I ended up with a 2011 GMC Yukon my first brand new vehicle well second but my first one really was never mine and still I have only got to drive it twice cause it's in the barn at my dads place in Peachtree City. He got me a new limited edition Trans Am for graduation but like I said I think it was more for him than me. So it's up there with the rest of his car collection but that's ok least it looks brand new.

Back to my new truck so this is my new truck and I really like it cause I did help pick it out and the color and all they had it brought in from another dealership in the panhandle cause they didn't have the color in stock with the options I wanted. Yeah I'm really happy with it and I hope it's a good truck and I get a lot of miles out of it. Kadin was sweet some of the money he got from his car that got totaled this past summer he put down on mine so we could get the payments we wanted.

Then Kadin and dad surprised me this morning with the help from the salesman. Dad told me to make sure everything was with the truck he said make sure that the owners manual was in the glove box so I looked in there seen a envelope that said road trip on it I open it and there it was tickets for the race in Bristol for this weekend. Dad was like you and me father and sun weekend what you say we break your new truck in? I said oh hell yes!!!Have a Great Weekend I know I am!

Question Day

2011-08-23T09:52:00.002-04:00

Today I thought I would answer a few questions from yall.

Ryan Field asks me Do you and Ty ever argue? And what are the big differences between you as brothers?

Yes we do but not that much normally its over him telling me where he going and what time will he back now he's 18 he thinks he don't need to inform me and I have to let him know the rule I always hated when I was growing up you live under my roof its my rules he fights with me over it but normally I get Kadin and for some crazy reason he listen to him and don't argue with him.

Um I would say other than hair color being different Tyler is taller than me and a little stockier and hung like a horse lol had to throw that in to see if anyone is reading this! He also like video games and cell phones I could careless about them. He likes different sports than I do and also different TV shows. He also likes girls sometimes and I just can't do that.

Jimm asks didn't your folks take in a gay cousin of yours? jus wondering how he is doing and if he has changed any?

Yes they did and when my parents split he came down here with my mom I didn't make him feel very welcome I still had a trust issue with him. He ended up staying with my uncle and mom for a while he got a job and ended up dating a few guys here and there. Now he is living in Tampa with his boyfriend and doing very well. Yes I finally open up to him and let go of the past and we get along great now.

Somebody who didn't want there name used ask how is Corey doing?

Corey is doing great talked with him last week he's living with Mikey in the Atlanta area he's going to collage and in general is doing really well very proud of him. I knew him and Mikey kinda bonded and I was ok with that I just wanted the best for him and I'm glad he has Mikey there for him and I will always be a phone call away he knows how much I love him.

Well that's all I got for questions this week if you have anymore you can leave them in a comment or email me @ ryryt87@yahoo.com

I wish I were the Tin Man

2011-08-22T10:40:00.003-04:00

Most the time I am a happy person and will do anything to help anyone out hell yall know that as long as some of you have read this blog know I give every dime I've made from this blog has went to help gay teens or animals in someway or another. I hardly ever ask for anything for myself I think once I ask for a cd from a singer in England and someone sent it to me that was very sweet.

I at Christmas time started up a Christmas card drive cause I thought we lost touch on what Christmas was about. I can't even begin to tell you how many cards I sent out but that didn't matter cause it was fun and I got a lot of cards and was touched by each of you. I just felt it was a great idea and everyone who got into it thought it was also I'm sure of that. There again is was something that I like to do and I felt I put a smile on someone's face.

I do this blog at first was for me but over the years I think it was for me and for those who read it. So why do people I care about always seem to be the ones that hurt me the most. Like I said I don't ask for much I'm a giver but all I ask for is maybe friendship or a little understanding and I can't even get that from someone I would die for. It really hurts!!!

Maybe I should just stop putting myself out there to get hurt maybe I should just be the prick that some thing I am. Maybe end this blog end facebook and just say the hell with it all. Live my life with Kadin and just close everyone out least then I wouldn't get hurt. I really would like to be the tin man without a heart cause then mine wouldn't get broken.

What Makes Me Mad

2011-08-17T09:27:00.001-04:00

I love when people email me and ask questions on thing I may never talk about or may never post about but need to from time to time. So the question was this you always seem to be happy do you ever get mad? Is there anyone who you just see and it pisses you off? (besides family) I was like wow when I seen these questions and thought well I need to answer them in a post on here.

Do I ever get mad? Yeah I say on a daily basis mainly over something I read or when I have to go pick a dog that has been abused and is so scare that sends me into a rage real fast. When I read something online or else where about some stupid ass hurt or killing an animal for no reason at all makes me real mad.

Someone messing with my family even though Tyler can handle himself and knows all that taekwondo shit and can flat kick the shit out of someone if I see someone hurt his feelings or heart I just want to rip there head off and shit down there throat. This will send me into a rage also.

Now the other question yes there are a few people I can see and I get pissed off and want to punch them right in the face. My family up north would top that list I think all the hurt they have done over the years I really can't stand them and normally when I see them I want to hit them.

There is a guy in the Saint Petersburg area that I can't stand and when I see his ugly big yellow teeth looking face it pisses me off. Thank God I don't go out like I use too or there would be a fight. Sad part is he is friends with a lot of friends I have but one good thing is I don't run in the same circle so I don't have to see him.

Last time I seen him was on my birthday party in Ybor City but thank God Kadin was there to keep me in check cause I wanted to go up to him so bad. I just wanted to grab his little queer ass up and say got something to say to me yellow teeth? I swear I would have kick the shit out of his gay ass!

Ok I need to think of something else cause thinking about him is pissing me off!!!!
If you have question you can ask them here or in an email and if there good ones I'll do a post about them!

Thanks Ethan for this questions.

I'm Damaged

2011-08-11T09:55:00.002-04:00

I got an email the other day I wanted to take a couple days and reread it a few times before I wrote about it make sure I got my thoughts and feelings right. I'm not going to post the email I don't want to give the guy who wrote it that much credit than what I'm going to give in this post. Pretty much he was ripping me apart for being a sell out from what I gathered from the email.

He was upset that I posted naked guys on my blog this was the littlest thing he was bitching about. Let me say this he claims he has been a reader for a long time and if this was the case he should know I have posted naked guys before on here before and trust me I will do it again. I make it clear that it's not a porn blog I like male nudity I think its beauty and when I want to share it I will post it.

The biggest thing was he thinks I'm damaged he did go back and read my blog I have to give him credit for that. This is why he thinks I'm damage I did a post a long time ago about my first time and how I was a little kid. For those who don't know let me bring you up to speed on this. I had a babysitter a boy from the neighborhood I was 9 he was 16 and I was in awe of this boy thought he was the hottest thing ever.

I want to make it crystal clear he did not come on to me it was I who came on to him. Yes maybe he should have know better but when your dealing with someone like me that don't take no for an answer well the boy didn't have a chance really. When I finally see him naked omg I was in heaven it was so big to me and when I found what it did I was in love!

There is more to this story but you have to go and find it in this blog past sorry but that's life. I do want to say this before I finish about this guy and his email. I do not think that having sex with a child is ok and I think if a man has sex with a child his dick should be cut off! Saying that I do think some kids are different than others and I know I was I knew when I was 5 years old that I like boys and I knew that playing with myself felt good!

My parents knew what had happen and they were upset but my parents listen to me and I thank them for that I told them it was me who started it and not him and I didn't want him to get into trouble. I wasn't allowed to see him anymore but they understood and of course it just got worse from there when it came to me and having sex.

This is where the guy says I'm damaged that this boy raped me and made me a sexaholic. He says me posting about sex and jacking off and getting fucked by Kadin all the time is cause I'm damaged and it comes from my childhood me posting guys naked is cause I'm damaged and I need to get help for my sexual behavior before I hurt myself or someone else.

Let me say this anit we all damaged in someway? Really I want to make this crystal clear what happen when I was a child has nothing to do with my sexual behavior now. I like to have sex ok I like to cum I love making love to my boyfriend Kadin but I also like to have a nice wank too I love porn and if that makes me damaged then I guess I am. But really who is damaged here me for getting some or you for not getting some?

Not to change the topic love to here your thoughts on this but there is some friends of mine who just open a store a few months ago I want to throw out a shout out and put there link on here a little about them.........

6S Boutique is a Stage Performer's Boutique.
We are a "One Stop Boutique" selling entertainer's necessities such as Make-up, Wigs, Rhinestones, Adhesives and more!

We also do fabulous Custom Swavorski Rhine-stoning and Repair on clothing (Gowns, Suits, Costumes), shoes, jewelry and more!

They have some really cool stuff you could wear everyday not just for performing and some really cool rainbow jewelry so go check them out and buy something lets help them make it we need to support business in our community!

Sending Hugs to Sasha & Andrew Good Luck with the Boutique!

This is Why

2011-08-08T10:49:00.003-04:00

People ask me why do I care about animals so much? They say that I care more for animals than I do people. I would have to say for the most part that is true I do! I think it goes back to my childhood and not having a lot of friends I always had animals around me and to me they were my friends I love them and they love me unconditionally!

I'm not going into a boo hoo crying my eyes out post a feel sorry for me post. I love my childhood and I learn a lot from it and I was never lonely even though I had very little friends. I had my animals and no matter what was going or how mad I was they would always come up to me lick my hand and let me know it was ok.The only thing my animals ever did that hurt me and they didn't do it on purpose but they would die and leave a hole in my heart and I would hurt so bad that they left me. I think because of that is why I work at a shelter now and why I do all I can do to help the animals it's sad to see a animal that don't know what love is.My shelter has a strict policy on adoption and trust me I follow through every bit of it. You can't just come in and take an animal home don't work that way. There is a lot of paper work involved and I check everything out on there to visiting your house your friends house and your momma's house trust me and I do make follow up calls when you take one of my animals!

So yeah I have a soft spot for animals and I always will and will do anything to protect them make sure that if someone is mean to them that they lose there right to own and animal. So yeah the more people I meet the more I like my dogs! Please if you can give something to your local shelter even if its 5.00 bucks every dollar helps!

Penis Talk

2011-08-04T13:04:00.005-04:00

Today post is going to be about penis talk I know right but I have gotten some emails some to my yahoo and some on facebook. They ask different things but a lot of the questions were the same so I thought I would just do a post and maybe answer some of these question. So ya'll ready to take Ryan's penis class? lol

So one of the big questions was how come I talk about or post jokes about cocks? Well first off let me say what is more funnier than a dick joke really? I post things to make people laugh or smile maybe make the day a little better and I get a kick out of some of the stuff people send me. That's the main reason why I talk or post about cocks.

The other top questions is I'm always bragging about my size am I really that big or is it wishful thinking. I have always been honest with people on here and facebook I just don't speak about size without being able to back it up. So yes it's more than average and yes I am proud of this fact.When I was a kid I got pick on a lot either cause I was the littlest kid or cause I had hearing aids, glasses or cause I was sick a lot so I had nothing special to make me stick out from these other kids until I join the swim team and I found out that I did and I thought now make fun of me with your little dick!

Well they did of course said I was deformed or something cause I had a donkey dick but none of them was willing to pull theres out in a cock contest but I sure would in a heartbeat cause I knew I would win and make them look like little girls or something. They could bully me all they wanted but I knew I had a bigger dick than they did and this made me very happy.The other thing growing up with my parents where nudity was open and we spent a lot of summers at nudists camps and such I learn to look at the male body as art something that is beautiful. Nudity don't have to be about sex all the time. I think if there wasn't any clothes and people had nothing to hide the world might be a nicer place to live.Well hope that answers your questions and before you ask you first!(for the record these pics are off the net I don't know any of these boys and they never sent me these pics if someone sends me pics I would never post them!)

Have a Good Weekend!

What's New I'm Confused

2011-08-03T10:17:00.000-04:00

Kadin has these friends he has know for a long time they are somewhat older than we are there a straight couple but very open minded people. I think they were like flower power people from the 60's nothing wrong with that trust me if I grew in the 60's I know I would have been. They been good friends to Kadin since he been a little boy and he likes them a lot.

Ya'll know most of Kadin friends I don't get along with that well but this couple I do and they been very nice to me and have welcome in like they knew me forever. Like I said they are very open minded people and have talked to both us about gays and there feelings and very happy that Kadin and I found each other even when me and Kadin went thru our little trouble they help us get thru that rough patch.

This is the deal they have a son he's 12 and they say he's transgender when I first met the boy I will call him Sam I really thought it was a little girl. He dressed like a girl his room was all girly and he played with girl toys. It was months later that I found out he was a boy we were over visiting and I excuse myself to use the bathroom I went down the hall and the bathroom door was open but when I turn to walk in Sam was standing there peeing. I was shocked I was like Sam's a boy!

He didn't say anything other than sorry I should have closed the door. I went back to the living room where everyone was and I must have had a look on my face cause I was ask what was wrong? I said Sam is a boy with confusion in my voice. They were like you didn't know that I was like no. They said to Kadin you didn't tell him? He said I didn't think about it cause Sam has always been a girl to me.

Reason I bring this up is we were over not long ago and Sam is doing fine and still dresses like a girl and says he is a girl with a boy penis. He also wants it removed but knows he has to wait until he is 18. Course I have ask question to his parents and to him but I'm still confused on things. He is homed school and I think that is good and bad but understand why he is.

He has friends that are both sexes and seems to get along great with them I'm not sure if they know the truth or not. I don't understand transgender that well I have to be honest I do know some personal but haven't wrap my mind around it that well. My question was it right for Sam's parents to allow him to live as a girl even though he was born a boy? If he wanted to after he got older then that would be on him.

What do you think?

Answering Question and a Statement

2011-07-26T11:19:00.002-04:00

Okay I'm going to answer some of the questions I was ask and then make a statement on something I'm doing and hope ya'll will help me with.

Jimm ask me how Kadin and Tyler helps and deals with my hearing or lack of. Well Kadin is very good about it and makes sure when he talks to me he looks at me most the time he also makes sure like the TV surround sound is on he just does small things to make it better. Tyler what can I say he likes to have fun with it he will talk or act like he's talking when all he's doing is moving his lips it's all good I know he means no harm about it just things brother's do like when I use to kid him about his little penis now I wish I would have kept my shut! lol

Ryan Field made a great point he said I should go back and take my best post and repost them. I think is a great idea and it would maybe bring some of the new people upto date on somethings about me and things I've been through. Since I have writers block lol this would help me until I get back into posting on here like I did before.

Luke ask about someone from my past Mikey (Mike) this would be good post to go back and repost so ya'll would understand how much I cared for Mikey and he did me. But like all things sometimes things don't work and this was our case. Mike is living in Georgia he rents a house off my dad has for the past year or so. I know he is going to school and also working as a security officer I don't know if he's dating anyone the last guy he was with they spilt up and I agree he is a hottie. I wish him well in whatever he's doing or with.

Ok now my statement there is this contest it's call the AE Bestshot Contest American Eagle Outfitters that I was enter in at first I didn't want any part of it but after I went and look it over I had a great idea and now I don't mind being in it. I'm not really concern about winning first place or anything like that modeling is not really my thing I want the gift cards that's what I want. Now before you start thinking bad thought I don't want the cards for me ya'll know me and clothes don't get along that well anyway.

What I want the cards for is this shelter in town where I live it's a home for teens that don't have anything so I was thinking if I could get enough votes and could win a couple of the gift cards I could give them to the shelter and they could take the kids out to get some new school clothes and it might make them feel good. Kadin and I normally try to help them out when we can normally at start of school and at Christmas. I was thinking if I could use myself to get some votes and a few gift cards then why not.

So please give me your vote and lets see how many cards we can get for these kids!

Click on this to Vote

Open Door

2011-07-21T13:08:00.003-04:00

I've been doing this blog forever it seems and here lately seems I've run out of things to write about or maybe it's facebook I'm not sure what it is. So I thought I would throw this out there I know I have some new readers and there is just so much in this blog to sit and read it all. So if you have some questions on things I wrote about or something I might have said and would like to know more leave a comment and next week I will do a post and try to bring the subject up to date.

Oh something cool did happen today last year I posed nude at this art school in Sarasota the teacher called me this morning and ask if I would be interested in posing again this fall? I told her sure I would I love doing it last year the hardest part for me wasn't controlling my hard on but sitting still for 20 mins to half an hour at a time. They did pay me for my time but I gave the money to the animal shelter I couldn't see keeping it cause it was something I like doing being naked lol!
Have a Good Weekend See Ya Back here Monday!

Aj Millan

2011-07-18T11:22:00.003-04:00

I am a diabetic have been all my life from birth until now it's something I deal with everyday. I've learn over the years how to deal with and what I can eat and what not to eat. Of course being a kid having to control something like food is not an easy job. When you see your friends eating candy or ice cream and you want some but you have to check your sugar first and then if your lucky you get to have a little.

Of course I've not always been good about my health seems like I'm in the hospital more than not. Either with some kind of cold due to my immune system or its cause of diabetic issues. I have to say since Kadin things have been better cause he watches me better than I do and I'm thankful that I have him. People with out this issue think they know what a person goes through but really I don't think they do Diabetes sucks but Juvenile Diabetes sucks even more!

July 14th someone I knew passed away from diabetic complications Aj Millan (Armando HERNANDEZ Jr.) I only met Aj a few times but that's all it took. He was a bright star and love people and anybody he met was a friend. He had so much passion for everything he did and just loved life and lived it to it's fullest. Aj touched many hearts and people could learn form him. I been told God takes the best first he must have seen you on that stage and wanted you to perform for him. Aj when I hear thunder now I will think of you dancing and singing across the skies!Aj family ask that you give to...
Juvenile Diabetes Foundation. Visit http://www.jdrf.org/, and donations should be made in memory of Armando Hernandez and designated to the Tampa Bay Chapter.

Even if its only 5 bucks just do it!
Aj Millan Obituary

For You Ryan

2011-07-14T08:31:00.002-04:00

Oh and I may not say it much I do love you.

My Deal

2011-07-13T11:35:00.001-04:00

This will be the last post for this week I got a lot going on and tomorrow being my birthday I'm sure I'll be busy and tomorrow night me and Kadin are taking off to somewhere for a long much needed weekend together. I said somewhere cause he won't tell me where or even how we are getting there all he tells me is he has it covered. It really don't matter where we go or what we do as long as were together.

The past couple weeks have been rough on me and if you follow on facebook I bet you could tell. Anyway I been dealing with some issues in my life dealing with the gay thing. Not that I am having mixed feelings about being gay that would never happen I love Kadin and I love him naked hell I love guys naked period they are so beautiful. No its the issue of the gay community and how one should act and not be so in your face.

Anyway not going into that again I made my feelings well know with three post on it and many comments and emails from yall. I think everyone had a point it's just something I have to deal with myself. The problem it's become a big problem in mine and Kadin life cause we don't agree and have got into a few fights over it. No not fists fights we would never hit each other we both agree how can you hit someone you love.

I am very hard headed and if I feel I'm right I refused to see any other side. Now this was at the tail end of a bad week when we got into over this topic before it was something else hell it was over my friend. So when it came time I played it back on him we were suppose to got to dinner over at his friends house and I didn't want to go cause I don't like the people and I said I don't want to go cause there too gay for me.

Yeah that went over very well and boy the fight was on. I told him them people have never liked me since he took me over the first time and the one guy is was over the top with his gayness and they make me look like a stupid hillbilly. So he got pissed and went to his room I stayed out and was watching TV and what was I watching nascar.

Omg he came out and blew up said that's why you didn't want to go you knew there was a Saturday night race on and you blew me off to watch your friend race! I was like no that not true I was going to dvr it and watch it later but since we are home I thought I would watch it. He was yelling at me and I finally had enough and said shut the fuck up Reed is not even in the race!

3 days we didn't talk we didn't have sex we slept in the same bed but didn't touch. It was ok at the time I think we both wanted to be mad for a while but after a while I got to thinking about it and seen how stupid I was and didn't take into thoughts how I made him feel and how I wasn't thinking about his friends either. Took me a few days but I finally understood that I wasn't being fair and the make up sex is always awesome.

Still have these issues with the gay community but something I have to deal with and I am day to day. All I know is I'm going to be 24 tomorrow and old fuck but I am going away with the man I love and will have the best weekend ever!

Love You Kadin Bear I'm Sorry!

The Wind of Change Part 3

2011-07-11T12:17:00.001-04:00

First off let me say thanks for waiting on me to post something I just needed a break from it from time to time. I want to talk about the 2 part post and some of the comments. Yes Austin some of my reply has to do with what you had to say. Let me make it clear I'm not mad and I believe everyone has the right to say what they feel.

I stand behind what I said before I have issues with the gay community. I have problems with they way a gay man might be a little girly and has to flaunt it for the world to see or even throw it up in someone's face. I don't like the fact that gay men call each other women or bitches or anything like that. I'm sorry these are my thoughts and feelings. I choose not to deal with people like this anymore and this is my choice.

I believe there is a time and place for everything and maybe a gay bar its ok to act however you want but in public I don't think so and I stick behind what I said before I think we are our own worse enemy and why were hated. There is a time and place for everything but acting like a flaming queer in the middle of the mall is not the place. Don't get me wrong just because I had an out of body deal at pride I think that if it makes people happy then have your pride.

I agree with some of what Austin said in his comments and I thank him for his thoughts on this topic and for taking the time to speak his mind in the right way besides he cute and that helps! One thing Austin said that I agree with is some people will hate us no matter how we act or don't act they hate us for just being alive. With that said I think there is others we could get to accept if we didn't flaunt so much.

Most of you had good comments on this topic Teddy I like yours too. Right now I can't change the way I feel and I just feel sick when I see a guy act like a girl. I don't understand the idea if your a gay why would you want a girly boy why not just get a girl? Trust me this topic is hitting deep not only on here but at home. Kadin and I have been fighting over this since I wrote it.

Always open to thoughts and comments!

Soon

2011-07-06T22:00:00.002-04:00

I'll have a post soon just taking a little break. I want to answers some of the comments from the post below so look for that soon!

Thanks

The Wind of Change Part 2

2011-06-30T11:48:00.005-04:00

Sorry took an extra day to do this post I had the other wrote out but when I walked away came back and reread it I didn't like it. It seem I was being mean and hateful and really I'm not just I don't understand somethings in the gay community and guess I never will. All I know is when I step out of myself and look at myself I didn't liked what I saw and I'm making a change to what I am and what fits me.I don't think anyone should be mad fun or bullied for who they are I have always believe in that and always will. I also think some people may bring it on themselves also. What I mean by that is flaunting when there is no need for it other than to get someone to say something to you. I have a friend that does that shot and it drives me crazy don't matter where were at he can turn it on and make people look.I've told him many times knock that shit off you don't need to act that way and if says its who I am and I said no it's not your turning it on to piss people off. We have had many fights over this. I personally think when we flaunt are gay it upsets people and it makes the gay community look bad. Just be normally and maybe people would stop fighting us so much for equal rights.I don't like being called a girl or a lady I'm a boy even if I do take it up the ass from time to time still don't me a girl. I have a cock and balls very nice one if I say so myself so don't refer to me as a girl. I don't like guys acting like girls and think that I find that attractive I'm gay if I want someone who acts like a girl I will be with a girl. I'll trying to deal with drag queens.Like I said maybe I'll piss some people off but I have to be honest with myself and these girly boys really piss me off but I'm trying to understand. I want to say this again NOBODY SHOULD BE BULLIED FOR WHO THEY ARE OR HOW THEY ACT! I just think if we want equal rights then we need to act equal and stop acting like a group of ho's! Nudity I love and ya'll know that but it needs to be done in the right place to be beauty.All I know is I am a Country Boy from Peachtree City Georgia and I'm gay but is a small part of me and it don't define who I am!

Happy 4th of July Weekend!

The Wind of Change

2011-06-28T13:18:00.002-04:00

What I'm going to post I'm sure will piss a lot of people off but I have to be me and I have to be honest. I'm going to talk about me being gay and going to pride and what happen and why I got so pissed off. I wasn't being true to myself and I was trying to create this person that I wasn't and it took me going to pride to understand it.

See I been to pride events before last year in St Pete the 2 years before that Atlanta's Pride hell I even been to a couple in Sarasota but none of them hit me like this one did this year. I was all gear up and super excited for it to get here and when it finally did I was like super happy to get there see some old friends and meet some new ones.

Going over the skyway bridge I felt something in my stomach wasn't sure what it was but I felt something. We got there and got out of the truck now its like 8:15 in the morning and people are drinking already rainbow stuff everywhere half naked guys walking around this should be a great pride.

Before we even got out of the parking lot this old troll was already hitting up on my little brother he seem drunk from the night before. After a few minutes of go away you old troll nobody wants you here take your drunk ass and go back under the bridge he finally went away. Now my brother can handle himself he has a black belt but last thing I want is him kicking the shit out of some old dude.

Get to a nice spot so we could see the parade and I'm just watching people thought it was going to rain still filling something in my stomach wasn't sure what it was. A few people we were going to meet up there showed up and we were talking for a little bit and more people showed up and they treated us like we were bother to them. So we just moved to another location.

Then the parade started and it was going great I was standing there in my underwear with a drink in my hand and it hit me like a ton of brinks why I had that feeling in my stomach. It was like I was standing outside myself and looking at me and everyone else I could see everything and for once I didn't like what I seen.

It wasn't me it's not the Ryan everyone knows and loves I was trying to be somebody I wasn't and I didn't see it until I step out of myself and what I seen I didn't like and to be honest pissed me right the fuck off. When I came back to myself I touched Kadin and said lets go. He ask if something was wrong I said yeah there is this all of this anit me!

Tomorrow will be the rest of the story with what this all means and what happen when I stopped at the flamingo and why things will change!

Peace!

Reed Wins!!!

2011-06-25T22:46:00.003-04:00

Reed Wins at Road America! Congrats Buddy I'm Proud of You!

Monday Hell Part 2

2011-06-23T10:46:00.004-04:00

Okay part 2 of the Monday from hell Kadin and I just left Piggly Wiggly headed to CVS to pick up some of my meds we were sitting at the red light waiting for the arrow to change when I seen this car coming down the road seem to be all over the place when Kadin said oh shit he's going to hit us!

Bam and he did I braced myself all you could hear is metal and glass bending and breaking. Next came the air bags from the front and from the sides. I felt like I was trapped for a few seconds finally I felt Kadin touch my arm and ask if I was ok and I said yeah I am are you? He said yeah and then he said I love you then I knew I was ok I felt safe again.

We got out of the car and went to check on the driver that hit us there was another guy there already checking on him when I looked into the car it was just a kid a young boy first thing I thought of he's not old enough to be driving but found out he was 16. Also found out what happen he was texting and trying to drive.Man that set Kadin off real bad he started yelling at this kid and telling him he could have kill all of us over something stupid. He kept on and the boy started crying and I told Kadin ok he got the point were ok let it be. The boys parents showed up and when they check on him and then us his dad ask what happen and he said he was answering a text and went over into the other lane and next thing he knew he hit us.

Oh man did his dad go off I felt sorry for the kid he had to listen to Kadin going off on him and now his dad said this is the second time you have done this over a damn phone he said let me see the phone the kid handed it to him he smashed it onto the sidewalk damn iphone busted all up he said no more cell phones! I think he means it too.

Anyway to wrap this up the police came took the report gave the kid a ticket tow trucks came towed both cars away found out later that Kadin's car was totaled and he just paid it off last month so looks like a new car is coming. Kadin wanted me to say in this post that he thinks the car makers and cell phone markers need to work together and come up with something that disables a phone when the car is in drive.

Anyway that was the Monday from hell I'm going to enjoy the weekend it's Pride Weekend here in St Pete Fla if you live in the area hope to see you there. We will be hitting a few places after the parade on Saturday Detours & Georgies to name a few so if you see us come up and say hi!

Monday from Hell Part 1

2011-06-22T10:22:00.004-04:00

Sorry the post have been slow and few just lots going on and I don't have time to stop and post like I want too. So Monday was a shit day for me the morning started out hard trying to get Tyler up to start his new summer job. Then I get to work and I was stuck in meetings most of the day trying to get people to donate money for the animals in this economy. Then finding out one of our big backers is backing out at the end of the year I thought could this day get any worse the answer is yes it could!Get a phone call from the county that there is a wild animal that is killing people's pets in this neighborhood. Said they have it trapped in this yard they think they said it was a coyote oh this great. So I call the guy I normally use to catch wild animals but he was tied up and couldn't make it for about 2 to 3 hours. So even though I didn't want to I headed out to see what I could do. Sure enough I got there and there is a coyote trapped in this lady's yard that's has a 15ft high wood fence.

This coyote has already killed 3 family dogs and it look really wild I knew sitting a trap wasn't going to work besides who going to go in there and set the trap without this coyote going off on them. Yeah not me that's for damn sure I love animals but getting bite and scratched by a wild coyote is not on the top of my list. There is only one option left and one I knew I had to do but so hate it more than anything in this world and that was to shoot it.See down here in Florida if a wild animal attacks a pet or person they have to be put down. I don't agree with this law but it is what it is. Don't matter if it's a coyote or a gator or a wild boar if it attacks it has to be put down. I could have ask the police to take it down but I know how they are sometimes and how they want to be like Wyatt Earp and I knew cause my dad taught me I could take it down with one shot and no pain other than the pain in my heart for having to do this.

So I'm not going into details about it I did what I had to do and it broke my heart and when I got back to work all I could do was go into the bathroom and cry. The girls at work knew I was heartbroken but I know the people that lost there family dog to this coyote was heartbroken also. I told them to come down to the shelter and look at the dogs we have and if they see one I would wave the charges. So far one lady came down and found one she fell in love with and he went home with her.

So yeah you would think that would be enough for a Monday but it wasn't tomorrow part 2 of my shitty Monday the car wreck me and Kadin was in on the way home from the Piggly Wiggly.Later!

Tune in Tomorrow

2011-06-21T14:48:00.002-04:00

I will have a post tomorrow tune back in then please!

Thanks!

Thoughts of You

2011-06-15T08:46:00.001-04:00

Isn't it funny how something can happen in your everyday life that reminds you of something in your past? Here lately it's been happening to me a lot. I have come to terms with my Grandma passing a couple years ago but I still haven't come to terms of me not making it back in time to say goodbye I don't know if I ever will.

I been thinking about her a lot lately seems like I see someone who looks a little like her or hear a song or see her favorite flowers I even smelled her perfume the other day at the store this lady was wearing it. It just made me really sad I had to leave and went and sit in the car and just cried. Then out of no where I felt this calm like she was there with me.

I know people will think I'm crazy and who knows I may be but I know what I felt. It was a calm that only she could bring to me and I felt it a few times since she passed. I told Kadin and he told me it wasn't crazy at all that my Grandma was still watching over me and is my Angel. Least I have someone who believes me all I know is I really miss her and the hurt hasn't went away and I don't think it ever will.

I Know What Love Is

2011-06-10T10:07:00.003-04:00

Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning.
For me that was the Love of My Life My Soul Mate Kadin.

I Love You Kadin.

Ya'll have a Great Weekend!

No More Lables

2011-06-07T13:04:00.004-04:00

Yesterday on facebook I posted this..........

Doing so I upset 2 people one voice his concern thru a comment the other thru an email. I want to make it crystal clear that I never meant any harm in anyway to anyone. First off I may be gay but thanks to my brother Tyler for helping me understand that people don't come with labels on them or warning signs.

So when I upset theses guys with the sign that says retards I'm not talking about a special group of people I'm talk about all people me included cause lord knows I've done some retarded things. I don't look at the Special Olympics as being retards that's bullshit that it was even brought up with this joke. I wasn't even thinking about them or anybody when I posted it I was thinking about myself.

If everyone must know what happen is I was coming back in from walking the dogs and come thru the cage pool area and was looking at something not watching where I was walking and fell into the pool. I thought damn I'm a retard. So I wasn't meaning it toward anyone and I'm a little pissed that anyone would think I would pick on a group of people in the first place.

What people need to start doing is STOP putting LABELS on PEOPLE!

Now something to make you smile a pube shot lol

Is is Love I don't think so!

2011-06-06T10:55:00.001-04:00

Sorry haven't been on here in a while to be honest I needed a break from it. Sometimes you just need to walk away from blogging for a little bit so you can come back and be happy to blog agian. So if I stop blogging for a week or two don't worry just taking a break from it. So now I'm back and ready to talk about some things going on in my life.

Friday I spent most of the day getting a friend out of jail. I know right should left his ass in there but I'm not that way. I didn't realize how hard it was getting someone out of jail I mean it took all day long to get his ass out. Ok I know your wondering what he did without giving too much away he got into with this girl he was dating and she slap him and when she went to slap him again he blocked it and hit her hand and he said that his and her hand went back toward her face and hit her lip and bam right in the kisses.

I'm not saying who's right or who's wrong I don't believe in people hitting each other and if you loved someone how could you or why would you want to hit them. Saying that I also believe in being equal right across the board. This is where some of you will get pissed at me but if a women comes up to me and is running her mouth like a man and then reaches out and strikes me them yes I will strike back.

Way I see it if she wants to act like a man and hit me she better be ready to take it like a man cause I'm hitting the bitch back. It's just like plain and simple and if it makes me a bad person than I'm a bad person equal rights remember! Like I said I'm not saying my friend is right or wrong I wasn't there when it went down all I know is he went to jail and she didn't.

Anyway I did the friend thing and got him out. Now he has to spend lots of money to clear this all up and hope and pray he don't lose his job over it.

Thoughts?

Later!

Memorial Weekend

2011-05-27T06:45:00.000-04:00

I remember those who paid the price for our freedoms do you?

Be safe have a wonderful weekend take a second to remember why we have this holiday weekend see you back here Tuesday!

Bad Day? Think About It!

2011-05-25T10:56:00.005-04:00

Everyone who knows me knows how much I love animals dogs are my favorite but I love all animals. Everyone also knows I work in a shelter and I do some work for Humane Society, Peta, SPCA, Defenders of Wildlife and Mote Marine Laboratory & Aquarium when it comes to helping animals in need they know I am right there.I just wanted anyone who reads my blog to think about something today. Everybody has bad days from time to time hell I had one yesterday myself. I lost a good friend cause we couldn't see eye to eye and then I felt he went behind my back and did something wrong just out of spite. Friendships are a give and take I know that but ours has been push to the limits many times this time I don't see a repair.So what I want you to think about even though I'm upset over the events that happen yesterday I still have it pretty good. Walk into a shelter and look at the dogs and cats in there that all they want is a forever home and somebody to love them. They are happy to see people and just want one chance. So anytime your having a bad day think about this there is an animal in the shelter that has it a little rougher than you.I ask if you can help any of theses wonderful places please do and I thank you. If you would feel better helping someplace close to you that would be awesome also! Just remember they have it rough also there homeless. Nothing makes you feel better when your having a bad day and you come home walk through that door and there is a dog wagging his tail cause he is happy to see you and will always be happy to see you!

One Love

2011-05-24T10:26:00.004-04:00

I wanted to clear up a few things from yesterdays post after I went back and read it again and from the comments and emails I got from it I can see it made me look like a prick and trust me I know I am but I didn't want to come off that way cause it didn't go down like that until I felt I was attacked and them I did get a little mean about the topic.

See when it first went down I ask the person why do you act so girly? Maybe it wasn't my place to ask him that but I can never learn anything unless I ask. Remember the ugliness I had for the drag queens but until I talk to them I had no room for them and didn't want them around now I understand them and hell even have some that are great friends.Saturday night turn ugly cause this friend who was suppose to be a good friend to Kadin decided to but in and make a big deal about it. That's when it got ugly when he was saying I wasn't any good for Kadin and that I was white trash I kindly reminded him that's what trash with money lol! Yes Kadin stuck up for me and I don't know where there friendship stands all I know is I won't go over there anymore.As for my issue with girly boys goes thanks to Eli, Foggy and all of you tha left comments and emails I am starting to understand it a little better and yall had great points and trust me made me open my eyes. I think Foggy said it best when he said.............
"On June 27th, 1969, at the Stonewall Inn in New York City, the "Gay and Lesbian Liberation" began. I was 23 years old. We became visible and united. It was US against THEM, and nothing could divide us.

Forty two years later, the "cause" has come full-circle. Instead of US against THEM, it is US against US. We have become our own worst enemy, and I am just as guilty as the next guy. It's so sad"

ONE LOVE!

Girly Boy?

2011-05-23T10:04:00.002-04:00

Had a pretty good weekend had its ups and downs. Friday night we went over to some friends for wine & snacks and a little body painting. lol I know right but its something we do once a month and believe it or not its rather fun and relaxing. Kadin's been into a long time and introduce me to it and of coursed I loved it. These friends are really cool and Kadin has know them for a very long time and they welcome me in the first time I met them. The one couple have been together for 18 years so there if proof that 2 men can make it together for a long time.
Saturday night was another dinner with some friends I didn't want to go for many reasons. First I never felt welcome they make me feel like an outsider and second is the all star race was on Saturday night and I wanted to watch it. I know I know for Kadin I will do anything so I recorded with the dvr. So off we went to dinner with some friends. There's one guy there I don't care for at all and he always has a new guy every time but whatever its his life. Normally the guys he picks just gets under my skin so bad I can't stand it.

This time wasn't any different so let me explain. The gay community sometimes gets on my last nerve. I may have written something in the past about this I don't know but I'm gonna write about it again. I use to have a problem with drag queens I think the main reason is I didn't understand them but after sitting down talking with them I understand a little better now. But the thing that drives me crazy the most is a guy who acts like a girl even refers to himself as a girl.

Last night this guy brought his date this guy was so freaking flaming his light would never go out. I don't mind a guy being somewhat girly but so girly you want to slap him and tell him you have a cock and balls use them! I sit there and listen to this girly boy go on and on finally I had enough and I said why don't you act like a man. Omg I started world war 3 up in there. People were coming at me left and right telling me I had no right judging him and I should be ashamed of myself.

Hell they wanted to take my gay card from me lol I tried my best to explain but they wasn't gonna hear it. Finally the one guy who is Kadin's friend told me I wasn't right for Kadin I was too redneck somewhat white trash WTF somewhat fuckface I am white trash and proud of it! Really I don't understand this part of the gay community I am a boy and I like boys I don't want someone who acts like a girl cause then I would just be with a girl.
Your thoughts please?

Camden Pierce Hughes

2011-05-18T20:30:00.003-04:00

A young boy found dead on a remote Maine road has reportedly been identified as Camden Pierce Hughes, a 6-year-old from Texas.

Juli Mccrery, the child's mother, confessed to Massachusetts State Police that she administered an overdose of medication that killed her son, WBZ-TV reports.

Calls to the Massachusetts State Police were not immediately returned.

After the boy's body was discovered along a rural road in South Berwick, investigators released a computer-generated image of the child and were swamped with hundreds of tips about the boy's possible identity.

Authorities focused their attention on witnesses who said they saw a woman driving a blue Toyota Tacoma pickup truck near the location where the child was discovered.

According to the station, a Massachusetts state trooper who was aware of the lead pulled over a vehicle that matched the description at an I-495 rest stop in Chelmsford, Mass., on Wednesday morning. The motorist, identified as the victim's mother, reportedly made statements about the boy's death and was taken into protective custody.

Mccrery's ex-boyfriend, Robert Miller, who called himself as "the only dad [Hughes] ever knew," described the child as "a very nice boy ... an innocent boy" who was in the "gifted and talented class in kindergarten."

"All I know is that he's dead and she's in jail," Miller told WBZ-TV. "I don't know why she was even up there."

Huffingpost.com

Poor little Camden now he can play all he want's. There is a lot I can say and what I would like to do to his mother but I'm not this post is not about her it's about Camden. It's just sad and makes me cry that this little boy will never have a chance in life but now nobody can hurt him.

God Speed Little Angel.

Found Dead on Rural Road Puzzles Investigators

2011-05-18T10:25:00.004-04:00

I don't understand this and it makes me really sad when I think about it. How in the hell could anybody harm a little boy not only harm him but kill him and them dump his little body like it was bag of trash. To me this is sick and whoever did it I hope they burn in hell. The other thing that makes me sad is this little boy nobody knows who he is he has no name. Somebody out there knows who this little boy is and they need to do the right thing and step up and tell us what his name is so we can lay him to rest the right way. Take a look this little angel and if you know who it is call and let the police know. Please repost this on your blogs or your social networks lets get this little boy picture out there somebody somewhere knows who this boy is.
By: Ryan

Mystery Maine Boy Found Dead on Rural Road Puzzles Investigators

Despite receiving at least 100 tips, police said they're no closer to identifying the dead boy found under a blanket on a rural road in Maine.

"Somebody has got to miss this child. He's a nephew of somebody, a son or grandson of somebody. ... It's just been very, very frustrating that we haven't gotten any leads, significant leads, in identifying this child," said Maine State Police Lt. Brian McDonough.

On Saturday, the body of a boy between the ages of 4 and 5 was found on Dennett Road in South Berwick, Maine, at around 5 p.m. A passerby who lives in the neighborhood saw the body with a blanket over it, police said. Police won't reveal how decomposed the body was or if the body showed signs of trauma.

"I think this is a suspicious death. There's a lot that we still don't know that we need to learn from people that were familiar with him," said McDonough.

What makes the discovery of the body even more of a mystery is no boy has been reported missing in Maine, New Hampshire or Massachusetts who fits the boy's description, authorities said.

Before the body was found, residents spotted a woman driving a blue pickup truck in the area Saturday morning.

A blue Toyota Tacoma pickup truck was seen in the area Saturday, and so obviously, we need to check that out," said Stephen McCausland, spokesman for the Maine State Police.
The truck has an extended cab and a full cap over the bed. Police have not been able to track where the truck is licensed. Over the weekend, police took castings of tire impressions and foot impressions on the road.

Today, police are looking at surveillance video, hoping they might catch a glimpse of the child.

McDonough said that he believes the person who dumped the body had to be familiar with the rural, semi-paved road because it is in a remote area.

South Berwick is near the New Hampshire border, and New Hampshire authorities have been helping in the investigation. Members of Team Adam from the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children are also involved. Team Adam includes former law enforcement officials and those familiar with missing children cases.

The State Police Computer Crimes Unit produced a computer-generated photo of the unidentified boy. The boy was 3 feet, 8 inches tall and weighed 45 pounds. He had dirty blond hair and blue eyes. His baby teeth had yet to fall out.

The fully clothed boy was wearing a gray colored camouflage hooded sweatshirt, khaki pants, a navy blue T-shirt with "Aviator Series" displayed on the front and "Lightning McQueen" black sneakers, police said.

Police thought that they had a near break in the case earlier today when a law enforcement tip led them to search for a boy of a similar build and description as the unidentified boy. A check revealed that the boy was safely at home.

"Progress is coming in, leads, and information is coming in, and as long as that continues we have something to follow up on and work to do," McDonough said.

Anyone with information about the boy's identity or the Toyota Tacoma pickup truck spotted in the area should call Maine State Police at 207-657-3030.

By: Jessica Hopper
abcnews.go.com

Happy Birthday

2011-05-17T10:09:00.004-04:00

Today is my Boo Kadin's Birthday so this post is for him.

Happy Birthday Kadin!
Hope you have a great day Tyler and I have a special night planned!
Love You Boo!

When We Were Friends The End

2011-05-16T10:57:00.004-04:00

So after Matt talked to me an explain to me pretty much he was with the in crowd and I was a nerd. Even though I understood what he was saying and even inside me I knew it was wrong I wanted to have more friends in my life than my mom and Reed. So I went along with the rules even though it hurt me to see Matt talking and laughing with other kids and he wouldn't even say hi to me.

The weekends would come and I was always super excited cause I knew he would be spending most of his time with me. Normally on Friday he would come over and not leave until Sunday. The fun we had playing on the farm doing things that boys do. Making forts swimming in the lake riding bikes just being boys. Not to mention my parents treated him like he was another kid and anytime they got me something while he was here he got the same thing.

This went on for the rest of the school year during school hours we didn't know each other on the weekends we were best friends. Deep down I knew it was wrong but I didn't care the little hurt I had while at school was made up on the weekends when I got Matt all to myself. I would plans things all week write them down go over and over them I wanted to make sure he was having fun and wanted to come back every weekend.Summer came and no school I was so happy my parents always had summer plans camping, amusement parks, Florida you name mom had it planned and of course I tried to take Matt as much as his parents would let him go. I remember when we went to see the Atlanta Braves once he just loved it never been to a game before and thought it was awesome.

Over the summer we grew really close and one night when we was camping out he ask me. Ryan you the kids in school told me that your gay is that true? Wow I was lost and knew what I said could change everything between us. I knew what I was and I already have messed with a boy before (for those who been following this blog know this) I was shocked really didn't know how to answer his question.Finally Matt spoke again he said if you are that's ok Ryan it don't change our friendship. I was still shocked but happy finally I said yes Matt I like boys but I don't think of you in that way. (Even though that was a lie I didn't want to scare him) He finally said why wouldn't you think of me that way don't you find me cute? Finally I told him I did and I'm not going to drag this story out yes we did stuff together honestly it was me that mainly did stuff for him.

End of summer I thought things would be different now in school I thought after a great summer of us being together almost everyday after my parents spent tons of money on him after I did everything to make him happy I thought this year I would go to school and Matt would be my friend and all the kids would see it and think he maybe Ryan is cool after all if Matt is hanging with him. WRONG!
First day of school I walk up to Matt and said hey how's it going or something like that he look right at me and said get out of my face fag! The look on my face I bet was priceless I said what come on Matt why you being like that? He then said get away from me before I kick your ass and push me when he walked passe me. Yeah I was lost and confused and hurt so bad I wanted to just leave.

Later that day I seen him going into the bathroom I didn't see anyone else heading in there so I did I wanted to see why he was acting like that and so upset. In the bathroom I was like Matt what's wrong what's the deal? He said stay away from me were not friends anymore I was like why? Then a couple boys walked in and he went crazy and said look the faggot is begging to suck my dick. Me and my mouth I said you were begging me over the summer everyday to suck you.

Then it happen bam he clocked me down I went. He was kicking me yelling, cussing and he even pissed on me. All I could do was lay there and cry. They finally left the bathroom this boy came in ask if I was ok I couldn't answer him he went and got a teacher and finally got me back to the office called my mom and I went to the doctor and then home. That was the end of my friendship with Matt it hurt.I look back on it now and I feel sorry for Matt I don't know what happen to him much after that. I seen him from time to time through school but we never talked again. I don't know if he was gay or just being a boy that age that wonders and plays around a little. I would see him with girls and he looked unhappy but I don't know if he was for sure. I just feel sorry cause he couldn't man up back then and say I'm picking my own friends if the rest of you don't like it then fuck off.

Matt don't know if you read my blog or not but if you do I'm not mad anymore and I forgive you. Wish you all the best in life.

When We Were Friends

2011-05-13T12:36:00.004-04:00

Every now and then I like to take a look back at where I came from and who I am now. I know I've talk about my past before and how unhappy I was. Not at home my parents were great and my mom well if I'm honest she made a brat out of me. My childhood wasn't the best and I felt lonely a lot. I know most of you have read this from before but some of the new readers haven't and there is so much in this blog it's kinda hard to go back and read it all.

I was a little kid growing up and being born months to soon I wasn't suppose to make it. Well of course I did but not without health issues I still fight today. Being a kid I got picked on a lot for wearing hearing aids and glasses. So when I speak on being bullied I know what I'm talk about. I didn't have many friends in school I was the easy target it wasn't until my friend Reed stood up for me that I knew what true friendship was like and I'm am proud to this day to still call him friend.

The story I want to tell today is about my first love Matt. He didn't talk to me in school but when I was out riding my bike one day we ran into each other and he was super nice to me. I was 12 and he was 13 we rode together and I ask him if he wanted to come to my house for lunch and he said yes. Back at the house I could see mom was happy I made a friend and like I said we just seem to hit it off. We back out riding bikes and talking like we were the best of friends.We hung out all weekend and things were the best they could be and yes deep down inside I was like falling for him but no way in hell was I going to tell him I was gay. Monday came and school and I seen him and walked up and said hi and he blew me off like I was trash to him. My heart was broke and I didn't understand how he could treat me that way after the weekend and hanging out. I wanted just to go home but I stayed and kept to myself like I normally did and got picked on a normal day for me.

Later that night Matt called and ask if he could come over and explain of course like an idiot I said yeah. He told me he was sorry but he had no choice but to treat me that way cause if the guys knew he thought I was an ok guy he would have been a target. That should have been my flag but you know I didn't care I like this boy and I wanted to be friends and would take his friendship anyway I could. So the rule was we could be friends out of school but in school I couldn't talk to him.

To be continued on Monday..................Sorry Have a Good Weekend!

Some Hate

2011-05-11T11:19:00.002-04:00

Yesterday post I thought was pretty good it promoted something that I love nudity. I'm ask where will you be doing your next nude event? I try something that I can meet people where they will feel comfortable as I will. Normally like a nudist beach or camp is the places I picked so everyone who wants to be naked can. Most of my nudity normally involves raising money for the animals so I can't really met up with people so I thought the bike ride was a good idea I could meet some people and get to be naked and ride for a good cause. I pick Lexington Kentucky cause I've been there a few times and I like the city.Today hate showed it's ugly head again I open up and email from someone in the Lexington Bike Ride Group Page on Facebook and it said please don't come we don't want a bunch of queers in our bike ride. So I sent an email to my back up city Philly to see what there feelings were and if they would like some queers in there ride soon as I hear back I'll let you know. I took all the links done to this event until I hear and I remove myself from the Lexington group just so ya'll know if you join that group also please leave it don't stay and promote there hate thanks!

World Naked Bike Ride

2011-05-10T11:28:00.005-04:00

Every year I try to find something to do that involves pubic nudity you know a group of people doing something in the nude for a good cause. Normally mine involves animals same way. No get your sick mind out of the gutter. When I say animals I mean me getting naked to raise money or awareness to help animals and I'm sure before this year is over I'll be getting naked for that cause.This year I wanted to do something different like maybe going hiking or jogging with a group of people naked and then I found it something I did when I was like 16 and haven't done since. World naked bike ride they do it for different causes this year its to protest against oil dependency I was checking there website and decided I want to do this and the one in Lexington Kentucky sounds like the place I want go to this year.So I found some websites and facebook fan pages its in August the last Saturday of the month. If for some reason Lexington don't have there ride I'm thinking about Philadelphia as my back up city on Sept 4 I'll keep you updated. So any of you think you might do this? Any of you do anything naked in public before?

For the Moms

2011-05-08T00:01:00.000-04:00

To my Mom and all the Mom's out there. Love You Mom!

I'll Have a Shot

2011-05-05T10:26:00.004-04:00

My ass is so tired no not from sex lol it's these damn dreams they keep me up this been going on for 2 weeks now. Kadin is calling the doctor today making me an appointment he thinks they can give me something maybe to slow my thoughts down when I sleep. I'll try anything right now I'm just tired of being tired.Happy Cinco De Mayo us Americans will use any holiday for a reason to drink hell we don't care what it's about we just see it as an excuse or reason to drink. I personal don't have in Spanish in me but I've been in a few Spanish asses lol so I guess that counts so I have a good reason to have a few tequila shots

Anyway Happy Cinco De Mayo Bottoms Up!

I Will Not Apologize

2011-05-04T11:41:00.003-04:00

Um a few things I wanted to cover today first off the bin laden thing I got a few emails saying that they were disappointed in me and many Americans. I understand but I'm not going to say I'm sorry that he's dead. Celebrating in the streets and such as many Americans did people say it was distasteful and maybe it was but I recall him sitting on the floor with others laughing and having a good time when they pulled off 9-11.Maybe people in the world just not ready to see the new America where we celebrate a killing of someone who needed to be whacked and if that makes you not like me anymore so be it. This will really set you off then I would have brought his body back to the United States and hung him up in New York City with a sign that said something like this. It may have took 10 years but let this be a lesson we won't stop until we find you and shoot you down so if you want to fuck with us in America we will hang your ass up next!

Next is the boycott thing with the flamingo. I'm being ask why? Well this is the reason they have done many people wrong starting with employees all the way to customers. I have personally had bad dealings with these people as many have if you check out the boycott page. Something's that have came out so far is theft from credit card transactions to managers being drunk and treating the entertainers like they were abused children. I with others in the community are sick of it and demand a change or we will tell who will listen and boycott until a change is made!So if you came looking for and apology from me not gonna happen! I am a Proud American I know my country has issues and things we need to work out but I wouldn't pick anywhere else to live!

American by birth Southern by the Grace of God!

Gay Bed & Breakfast

2011-05-03T12:45:00.003-04:00

Many of you have ask me if I knew of any bed or breakfast in the St Pete/Tampa area that was Gay friendly. Well I would always tell you no I wish I did well now I am happy to say I finally know of one The Gay St Pete House Owner Brian Longstreth lives on site and is very involved in the local GLBT community. Brian is good people and has a very nice bed and breakfast the rates are great check out the website and feel free to ask Brian any question he will be glad to help you make sure you tell him I sent ya!Amenities:

Heated Pool

Dry Sauna/Exercise Room

6 person hot tub

Poolside rooms include private entrance and bath, Queen beds, TV with dvd player, refrigerator and microwave.

Daily light continental breakfast and beer/wine/soda happy hour provided.

Courtesy Of The Red, White And Blue

2011-05-02T10:52:00.004-04:00

Yes like many other Americans this is a great day. A day we been waiting on for 10 years now. No I don't think it will change al Qaeda maybe piss them off more but someone will stand up and take control of there hate. Bin Laden you got off easy if you ask me a gun battle so many ways I could have thought of to got rid of your sorry ass anyway burn in hell fuckface! But forget that for now today is a happy day for Americans so enjoy it. Just keep in mind today of those who lost there lives on September 11, 2001 and there families today. May God Bless the United States of America!