Bad Night

Something happened last week when Ryan and me went out to the karaoke bar. At first I wasn't going to post about it but then I talked to Ryan and thought maybe I would see what yalls feelings are about it. The other night you know we went to the karaoke bar with some friends we know down here. Wow I don't know how to bring this up but there was a guy there that is cute and he was hitting on Ryan a lot. It don't really bother me when guys do because I know how Ryan feels about me and Ryan told him he had a boyfriend and pointed my way. The guy came up and talked to me too. He was a really cool guy very cute and well I don't know why but we ended up taking him back to Ryan's uncles house and we had a few drinks next thing I know we all end up naked and you can guess the rest. Ive never did anything like this before since Ryan was my first guy I had ever been with so doing the threesome with this guy makes him my second. The thing is I didn't mind doing it at the time, it was fun but the next morning I woke up and I felt bad and still do. I feel like I cheated on Ryan. We have talked about it a lot since it happened and we both feel the same way that we never want to do that again. It just happened we let it I know but I am sorry it did now and I cant stop thinking about it. I wont even get started on the part about me drinking and how stupid I feel over that part of it. Coming from a household with a drunk for a father I had made a promise to myself to never drink. People had always said that was going to be a hard promise to keep and I reckon they was right. Im not even going to go any further on the drinking part of it cause I'd end up beating myself up all day on here over it. Im just disappointed in myself over the whole thing maybe the drinking part even more so then the threesome.

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