Help Me Understand

This is a sad story but I feel like I should write something. This couple I've know for maybe a year and half are calling it quits. They are an older gay couple been together for 37 years and are calling it quits. I just don't get it really after 37 years couldn't they work it out somehow? I mean 37 years that's more years together than most straight couples I know stay together. I have talked with both one more than the other of course but neither one has the energy anymore to stay together. I look at them moving out and see how sad they are.They hardly speak to each other while they are moving out going there separate ways. What stuff they don't want people are taking this is just sad. I hate to think after 37 years with 1 person that I couldn't work things out with that person. The one guy that I talked to the most came down last night to talk with me and Kadin gave us his new address and the poor guy just broke down and cried but when we ask why don't you talk with him all he could say is there pass talking. Damn I just don't get it I don't understand all that time and you can't talk. Anybody understand this please explain it to me please!

7 Responses
  1. Carl Says:

    Sometimes people just grow apart. I was in a 10 year relationship that ended and it was time.

    It is sad but, in the end this might be better for the both of them.

    Honestly, this is not something that anyone could understand. Things just happen - good or bad.

  2. jimm Says:

    Grumpy old men? In a dispute, sometimes both can be wrong, or both can be right. Those are the most difficult spats to resolve. Lots of resentment builds up over time.

  3. Anonymous Says:

    Usually the main culprit is pride. Too proud to talk and respect issues. They draw lines in the sand and dare the other to cross it. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, trust me. ed

  4. Eirik Says:

    I kind of agree with Carl. Also, who know how long one or both of them has been unhappy and "trying to make things work"? Sometimes people just fall out of love. I don't know bro - it is sad, but it would be even more sad to see them unhappy just to make things "work".

  5. elise Says:

    I share your sadness, Ryan, and I just have to wonder if they were able to be legally married, would it have made any difference?

  6. ryan field Says:

    I've seen it too. They stay together for years, and then split up. I'm always shocked.

    There could be tons of reasons. I knew a couple once who were both bottoms. They stayed together for over twenty years until they just coldn't take it anymore. I've seen relationships work with two tops, but it's hard to pull off with two bottoms and it almost always winds up not working out in the long run.

    It's sad.

  7. Matt Says:

    It is sad to hear they've been together for so long and then to have something like this happen...but all I know is that it happens...for example my parents were together for ironically 37 years... and are now separated...

    It's just always hard to know what was truly going on, as in my families case if someone only saw bits and pieces of everything that happened they could get the wrong idea about everything...

    But I agree that talking and making an effort is important, but there is a certain point where there is just a break down in communication, and you never know there is always a chance that after they live separate lives for a little while they might realize how much they still care about each other and might work to rebuild a new relationship, that works better for both of them....