I know I have start this week off with talking about my job but I don't think I have really stressed enough how much I loved this job and first but now I can't stand it's starting to mental get too me. It's not the residents at all it's the people that work there. Last night I was helping in the dinning room with getting drinks and such most the residents are able to do things for themselves. There are few that need help and that is why we are there. This one lady has a handicap with her hands I think bone age and arthritis made it where she can't handle a spoon or fork that well but she try's.Last night they had soup and sandwiches for dinner now that's a problem for me right there but I can deal with least it's food but this lady is trying to eat her soap and having a hell of a time with it.
I see this why can't anyone else I can't help her I'm already feeding this man that can't feed himself I look around and these nurses and cna's just sitting at this table laughing have a good time. This pissed me off so bad I couldn't keep my southern mouth shut I told the guy I was takin care of brb I went over ans ask what the fuck were they doing? The girl was like excuse me I was can't you see that lady needs help eating and your sitting on your ass laughing! So yeah we had heated words I could write about it but why ya'll know I can hold my own in a heated words fight. Ended up the manager of the home coming in and sending us both to her office but not before she got on the rest of them for not helping the residents.
I feel bad that it happen in front of the residents but most of them are behind me anyway and tell me I'm the best person there. Maybe that's what makes me go back I'm not sure well I'm off until sometime next week cause of my surgery tomorrow and got an extra day because of the fight. The thing is all the stuff I see wrong there seems nobody cares and I don't understand this and don't think I can fix it on my own. I also don't think I can go back there after my surgery I just don't think mentally I can handle it anymore I think what my problem is that I care for people too much. Kadin will post something tomorrow after we get back from the hospital let ya'll know how I'm doing. Oh it was the bro!
Later!
I see this why can't anyone else I can't help her I'm already feeding this man that can't feed himself I look around and these nurses and cna's just sitting at this table laughing have a good time. This pissed me off so bad I couldn't keep my southern mouth shut I told the guy I was takin care of brb I went over ans ask what the fuck were they doing? The girl was like excuse me I was can't you see that lady needs help eating and your sitting on your ass laughing! So yeah we had heated words I could write about it but why ya'll know I can hold my own in a heated words fight. Ended up the manager of the home coming in and sending us both to her office but not before she got on the rest of them for not helping the residents.
I feel bad that it happen in front of the residents but most of them are behind me anyway and tell me I'm the best person there. Maybe that's what makes me go back I'm not sure well I'm off until sometime next week cause of my surgery tomorrow and got an extra day because of the fight. The thing is all the stuff I see wrong there seems nobody cares and I don't understand this and don't think I can fix it on my own. I also don't think I can go back there after my surgery I just don't think mentally I can handle it anymore I think what my problem is that I care for people too much. Kadin will post something tomorrow after we get back from the hospital let ya'll know how I'm doing. Oh it was the bro!
Later!
My Little Bro Ryan, Listen to me....and listen very closely:
I don't care what you're doing at work, who you're helping feed or drink water, or who you're cleaning up after, or who you're pushing down the hall in a wheelchair, or who you're saying hi to.....it doesn't matter...... speaking as one who has had several parents in hospitals and care facilities, I can only say THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to YOU, and all of those like you, who care for our parents, in laws, others while we are away. I know it's a very thankless job. So, I want you to know that I don't care if there's politics and games going on behind the scene -- who cares. Stick with what you know. Stick to what you're good at. Be yourself. And know how much I appreciate all of the help you provide to those who need it. You're a doll.
What you're doing right now is a good thing. You're creating awareness by writing about it and people are reading and listening. If more people did this openly, I don't think we'd have as much of this sort of thing happening.
Hope everything goes okay tomorrow with the surgery. I'll be thinking about you...:)
Dear Ryan, bless you for caring so much.
But the thing you have to realize is that you can't make everything right. Even Jesus didn't make everything right. He brought forgiveness for what we do wrong. And what we do is what we are responsible for.
This morning at church one of the scripture passages was Romans 14:7-12. Please read it over a couple of times and then read verse 10 several times. The other passage that was read was Luke 15:1-10. Romans tells us that God is the judge. Luke shows us how God judges people. We aren't the judges, but we need to try to have an attitude like God's when we see people behaving poorly.
For example, at dinner, if you had excused yourself from the man, as you did, and then gone over to the other people and said politely, "Excuse me, I think that lady over there needs some help. Could one of you give her a hand?" somebody would probably have helped, and you would not have had a confrontation or got called to the manager's office. You'd have done as much good as you ended up doing, and you'd have avoided the unpleasantness.
Okay, I wasn't there. I don't know these people. I only know how I expect normal people to normally behave. And maybe civility wouldn't work with these people. But I think it's worth trying. And if it doesn't work, you aren't their boss. All you can do is go to management. You do yourself no favors by being so hot tempered.
Your problem isn't that you care for people too much. It's that you are too prone to anger and you think you are entitled to tell other people what to do. You are responsible for what you do. Other people are responsible for what they do. And if they are doing poorly, supervisors and management are responsible for correcting them. You say you can't fix everything on your own. That's right. That's how it will be wherever you are. So you have to learn to live with it.
I think you should go back there after your surgery. I think you should do your job as well as you can for the residents. As A Lewis says, it's good for them to have you there. So go back for their sake. And do your job; and let other people do theirs. And if you have an idea how they could do better, talk to them nicely, if it's really important or urgent. If it's not important, let it go. If it's something that keeps happening, mention it calmly to a supervisor or management. But don't make a federal case out of everything. And don't think that you can make everything right.
You have a wonderful caring heart, but you need to get your emotions under control. Try practicing at work.
I love you.
And God bless everybody who will be involved in your surgery and post-op. May he guide them to do everything well.
<3
If you are not there to look out for the residents, who will....just something to think about.
Change starts with one person.
naturgesetz .. you have some good points and agree. It may of been handle better. But you can only take so much , I wish Ryan this was just at your place of work ... it isn't it across the whole board of the nursing home industry. I too couldn't take it and didn't handle my feelings right. Going to supervisors doesn't work in this industry... because truthful as long as there is a warm body taken care of patiences and they met state ratios to care givers to patience they don't care, and they get their money. Also that there is no major things are going on where they lose a sue or get fine. This is a tragedy, and damn sure hard to see every day and not lose your temper. I had to get out Ryan too . I so miss them , I go back but not like I should.. what I am doing is fighting with state. You have to do what you have to but if you are fighting with the co workers trying to get them to do there jobs and losing your cool in front of them it not a good choice for any body. But if you stay you have to learn to accept some things you don't want to . I hope you a speedy recovery get some rest ... hope things work out ...
some excellent comments already---so, my sweet Ryan---1st--best wishes for your surgery!!! We expect to hear that report from Kadin!
2nd---I also have many years of experience in the nursing home industry. I worked for the State Health dept that regulates them, then i worked for a company that operated a chain of facilities, and I also once spent a miserable 6 weeks as a patient in a "rehab" nursing home after a bad car accident.
The sad truth I've learned thru all of this is that there are never enough decent, caring people like you to properly care for these folks. It's a money issue. The government reimbursements are not adequate. The not-for-profit homes can't afford to make up the difference, to hire enough staff and pay for more supplies.
The for-profit homes choose not to cover the exra expenses.
The result is not enough staff, so the staff get overworked and burned out, and there's not enough staff to give the direct care in a tmely manner. So these poor folks sit in urine soaked beds, or can't get help with feeding, etc.
When you see staff sitting around, not helping when they could be, it's often bad attitude,like "it's not my job", or they don't pay me enough, or the owners don't care, why should I?
It is a terrible problem, and once in a while, a low-level staff person or volunteer comes along and has such compassion, and sees these folks as worthwhile people who need help, and he just wants to help anyway he can.
That's you, Ryan, and these residents need you so much---I hope you can work things out and return to the job--or at least go work at another nursing home. You are truly an angel who can make such a difference!
Bless you, sweetie!
Sweetie...I'm glad you can't keep
your sweet southern gentleman mouth
shut...
Back when Nanny was in a nursing
home she was the same way...Only
she didn't know to eat...Leslie and
I walked in there one day and her
food was sitting in front of her
UNTOUCHED...There were others just
like that...Well yeah I sat down
and started to feed her...
People don't see that we were
taken care of...WE were feed and
our diapers were changed we were
bathed and so on BY PEOPLE WHO
ARE (or going to be)THAT AGE!
It's our turn to take care of them
when they are like that...
Even when Grandma couldn't feed
herself that last day I was in NY.
I fed her...I told her that she
took such good care of me it's my
turn to take care of her...She
tried to smile (she was having a
series of strokes)...
You did the right thing and I'm
ALWAYS gonna stand beside you :)
I'm proud of you Baby Boy :)
HUGS!
Laurie