How Do You Get That Lonely

I been back posting for over a week now thanks for those that waited for my return. I know some readers I lost moved on and I'm ok with that I did walk away from blogging for a while can't except them to wait around for me. I didn't know when or if I was going to come back to blogging I thought I blog out. But somewhere deep inside me I wanted to come back I do enjoy blogging. I've been doing this for over 7 years and it's just hard to walk away. I think over the years I may have help some people I know I've made some great friends and I have had contest and gave things away and I have enjoyed it all maybe not the hate so much but everything else I have. Going old fashion at Christmas time and exchanging Christmas cards I have sent out over 400 cards in 3 years and received as many that's awesome!

Coming back I thought what can I do what shall I write about that I haven't already covered. The topics still come to mainly just everyday life and everyday news. This past week I cover one story on here and posted a few on my facebook page. I want to cover them a little here today cause they bother me so much. I'm talking about the four gay or gay-perceived teen to commit suicide in this country in the last month. People this upset me so much they all had different stories but all kind of the same. I don't understand that these four youths felt that the only choice they thought they had was to end it. Why cause of hate cause of bullies this is not right and for one I am pissed off. I know these feelings I felt them in school hell that's one of the reasons I started this blog was I had no friends and this was my out.

I blame parents I blame religion and most of all I blame stupidity. People fear what they don't know I understand that but it give them no right to talk down to someone cause there different. I'm mad at parents who turn there kids away cause there gay. I thank the good Lord I have wonderful parents that support me for being me. Yes I butt heads with my dad all the time but it's not cause I'm gave it's the choices I make. I know he wants the best for me but never once has he every said I wish you wasn't gay. Parents need to support there kids whatever they are. That's one thing I can say about the gay community we support each other and that's what makes us strong. You get disowned by your family well it hurts but the gay community will support you and be your family. Think if the rest of the world was like that what a place this could be.

This goes out to any gay youths who may read this Please know that there are people out there that do care and people that will help and will understand. Please there is a choice and death isn't one of them. I urge any LGBT youth contemplating suicide to immediately reach out to The Trevor Project, day or night, at (866) 4-U-TREVOR [866-488-7386].PLEASE CALL THEM IF YOUR HAVING SUICIDE THOUGHTS PLEASE!Tyler Clementi, 18
Seth Walsh, 13
Billy Lucas, 15
Asher Brown, 13

There is no reason these 4 boys had to die none what so every.

Judy Shepard says and I agree with her 100%
Our young people deserve better than to go to schools where they are treated this way. We have to make schools a safe place for our youth to prepare for their futures, not be confronted with threats, intimidation or routine disrespect.

Quite simply, we are calling one more time for all Americans to stand up and speak out against taunting, invasion of privacy, violence and discrimination against these youth by their peers, and asking everyone in a position of authority in their schools and communities to step forward and provide safe spaces and support services for LGBT youth or those who are simply targeted for discrimination because others assume they are gay. There can never be enough love and acceptance for these young people as they seek to live openly as their true selves and find their role in society.
So stand up speak out tell your congress your local elected people call the schools just stand up people we need to stop this!!!
19 Responses
  1. Planetx_123 Says:

    Nice post-- yea it frustrates me so much, because its so needless. The schools and people that are responsible and have first hand insight into the daily happenings *must* do better.

    I just want to hug these kids and tell them that life is long, even though it doesn't seem like it right now.

    It's so so sad...

    Much Love,

  2. Carl Says:

    Ryan, the count is now five. There is another gay youth that took his own life.

    One is two many. There is so much hate that people have and in today's society it is trully shocking.

    The sad part off all this is people on the verge of ending their lives many hear all the news reports and think think that the people are now free and I can be too. Damn, that is not the answer.

    There are 5 that are well publicized. How many others have done this and how many others out there need our help.

    I was bullied in school but thankfully I was able to turn my frustration into a constructive outcome.

    Ryan, I think you should challenge everyone of your readers to make a difference in the next month. It can be small or something big. We need to "Pay it Forward" one person at a time. It must start somewhere.

    Let's share so others know that you can make a difference. Also, let's keep in anonomys. We need to start somewhere and soon. Everyone can make a difference in someone's life.

    A sad time in our country.

  3. Cheeky Says:

    This must be "return to blogger" week - I started back posting this week too HA!

    Such a great post - I just can't comprehend feeling so distraught that you want to end it all....even when I went through Hell a while back and my entire life was changed my thoughts never went there.

    Hugs to you Ryan and welcome back (PS Halloween cards will soon be on their way - I am assuming your address is still the same - yes?)

  4. I can't say much from fare away about this topic, except of course how sad this is.
    But the real reason I comment is I wanted to mention, how glad I am, that you're back to blogging. I just prefer not to comment when I not really have something to say, sorry :)

  5. ryan field Says:

    Great Post, Ryan.

    You covered everything very well. I'm going to share and put a link on my own blog post about this since you covered more info than I did.

  6. Rebjames Says:

    thanks for saying what you did. I too am saddened that gay guys and gals become so lonely and so depressed that they commit suicide. I have thought of it myself in the past...but it solves nothing. Society has to learn to be not so condemning of people who are different than they are...

  7. Just Says:

    it is time to give a damn .... enough is enough ... time to do something .. I am ... and have but ... what we are doing isn't enough... got to do more and something different! This isn't acceptable to me ...Glad your are back ... love outside looking in .. btw .... hoping for the ones we lost we save millions ! Hope things change and soon .... Peace Lee

  8. Bret Says:

    It is sad that this is happening.

    I don't and probably wont ever understand another person treating another like this to the extent they want to end it all.

    Very nice post my friend.

  9. Anonymous Says:

    Yes, acceptance MUST start at
    home...It's also important for
    parents to instill in their
    children the difference between
    right and wrong...To live the way
    they want their children to live...
    Being a good person and being
    strong...A good role model is
    most important for a child...

    Teachers need to follow up with
    the lessons...THEY SHOULD NOT BE
    YOUR CHILD! (Just saying) But
    a teacher needs to help instill
    in the children that they teach
    lessons of acceptence and
    understanding...To never pick out
    one child (this happened to me
    in 2nd grade) and make them the
    mockery or scapegoat of the class.

    Peers are another type of teacher!
    Funny I know but when a child is
    lonely or just wants to fit in they
    tend to turn to the 'wrong' crowd
    and things can turn ugly from

    Ya know even us lunch ladies
    are teachers...As a wonderful
    vice principle said to us one day
    RUN TO'...And she is right...What
    better time to take to teach each
    child what love is...How far a
    smile or kind word goes...It may
    not seem like much but when you
    smile at a child that is having
    a bad day they will smile back and
    then they will remember that and
    smile again when they think about
    it...We have the privilege to
    see the child up close and know
    when or if something is going
    wrong...Maybe they aren't their
    usual self one day cause something
    happened...We know cause they
    are able to be themselves around

    Children are gifts...We need to
    love them just as much when they
    tell us something that may break
    our hearts...Nothing should ever
    change your love for your child...
    Things may hurt and they may be
    hard to understand but your child
    is the same person they were before
    they told you they were gay...
    They are still the jock, the freak
    the prep, the cheerleader, the
    artist, the geek...They are still
    your child...

    Ryan, I have always loved you...
    Nothing you can say or do would
    ever change that...I hope that
    you know...I wouldn't change a
    thing about you...You are perfect
    just as you are...



  10. Reddecatur Says:

    Well done post Ryan

  11. Anonymous Says:

    "I blame parents I blame religion and most of all I blame stupidity." All very true... but MOST of these is religion. Religion - especially organized religiion - has resulted in the deaths of more people throughout history than any other single cause, and it's about time people woke up to this FACT. I'm sorry, folks, but religion is BULLSHIT - it's nothing more than a way to CONTROL people, which is wrong. Now we have 5 young, vibrant kids taken from us - yes, TAKEN from us - because of bullying - and 99% of this hatred comes from religion, directly or indirectly. I'm so frikkin' mad I could just scream.....

    AZ Denny

  12. Polt Says:

    Very well stated, Ryan. As usual.

    Glad you're back.


  13. well well well look whos back i had just started following you wehn you walked away so i didnt get the full awesomeness i looked forward to future blog post and if this is any jugde you are a very good blogger Love<~Peter~>

  14. Anonymous Says:

    One of the young lads was from my state. I heard that on the national news. My local news sources said nothing about it. The redneck bigots that live here were just glad another queer was gone. There is one college town nearby that has a gay community but the rest of the state look on it with disdain and thinks it is a shame that Homosexuals are tolerated. It is this kind of stinking thinking that causes us to feel less than human. Can't we all just overlook our differences and realize we are all brothers? Ted

  15. jimm Says:

    I wonder, faced with suicide, how many of us readers somehow resisted or were pulled back from ending our lives?

  16. deltachaz Says:

    Awesome video
    THANK YOU for sharing this song with us

  17. Andres Says:

    WOW this past month has been sp trajic... i googled each name and reading each story made me so sad...
    I hope things get better...
    I'm so lucky not to have come out until college... these days more and more young people decide to come out younger...

  18. dare2exist Says:

    WOW this past month has been so trajic... I googled each name and reading each story made me so sad...
    I hope things get better...
    I'm so lucky not to have come out until college... these days more and more young people decide to come out younger...

  19. Anonymous Says:

    Ryan, I finally got to take a look at your blog - it's great!! I love how you take care of your brother and a lot of the comments about how you've turned your life around. I love all of the poetry you've included. You just seem to know the right things to talk about and say. But, what really got me was the bullying and especially the Blaine Larsen song. I couldn't control my tears!! I HAVE felt that lonely - that's how I grew up. No friends at school even though I tried so hard to be the best person I could and be friendly with everyone. Parents never really seemed to care or be there for me. No one to really talk to, and no one to love or love me back. You don't know how many times I asked God why he made me, allowed me to be born, wouldn't let me die so I wouldn't have to go through all the pain and torture I felt. It hurt so bad! I can see that if Id had access to a gun, I could have easily have been one of those crazed school shooters. I contemplated so many ways to end my life, although, I always managed to talk myself out of it. The scars are still deeply imbedded though, and every now and again, like with this song, something will open it back up. But, I'm glad I can look back now and know that I made it through. I know what each and every one of those who died felt, because I walked that thin gray line for so long. I wish I could have held each of them and told them that it can get better, and there ARE people who DO care. Thank you Ryan!! (From Mike C. - facebook friend)