Merry Christmas Grandma

For those of you that haven't guessed I'm a mommy's boy and damn proud of it. That also means I'm a grandma's boy also. I have a grandma here in America and one in England I love both of them very much but of course I was closer to the one here in America cause I seen her more than the one in England.

Christmas 2008 was a normal Christmas it was my first Christmas in my own house so I had everyone come to my place for the holiday. I even had my grandma come down from Ohio something she didn't do much leave Ohio at Christmas. I think growing up she came to Georgia once at Christmas.

So here coming to my house for Christmas was a gift in itself to be honest. She came down stayed a week with us we baked we cook we sang had a wonderful time. I was about the happiest boy that December that any boy could be. Christmas morning came when we woke up she was already up had coffee and hot coco made. We did as everyone else rip through the gifts laugh and had a good morning.

I didn't know that would be my last Christmas with her I would have made it last as long as I could. See January 22, 2009 the good Lord called her home. She had a heart attack and they did everything they could but she was up there and age and it was her time I know that but I didn't make it back to tell her goodbye and to this day it still bothers me.

There is so much fiction in my family and it's just stupid shit really and she was kinda right in the middle. My mom side is a strange bunch of people white trash at its finest to be honest. She has brothers and sisters she hasn't spoke with in years and it has to do with me and my uncle and now my cousin being gay.

So I didn't get to go and visit her as much as I wanted but I knew she didn't care what I was I remember her telling me "Ryan love who make you happy and the hell with what people think" She would tell me "Be true to yourself, live a good life, try to do right and go easy on the bottle" things she told me I remember like she told me yesterday.

I miss her a lot think about her often. I wish I could have been there to say goodbye but something I have to live with and I'm trying. Thanks Kadin for helping me with this post I had to walk away many times just so many thoughts and tears come following back. Let me just say Merry Christmas Grandma Love and Miss You!

This was my Grandma favorite Christmas song hope Buck is singing it for you!
6 Responses
  1. elise Says:

    My dear Ryan---I think being a momma's/grandma's boy is one of your finest qualities!

    This post got me all teary, remembering so many holidays with my mom, who is gone 13 years on January 7.

    Keep hugging your loved ones and telling them you love them. They are the most precious parts of your life.

  2. Anonymous Says:

    She is always with you...

    LOVES YOU!!!!!!!!


  3. ryan field Says:

    Wow...I'm all emotional now, Ryan. I remember when you posted about all this back then. I know it was hard for you when it all happened. And it must have been hard to write this post, too.

    But I'm glad you did. It was a great post, once again.


  4. Jacob Says:

    Thanks for sharing. That was emotional.

  5. naturgesetz Says:

    I'm sure your grandma still loves you.


  6. steve Says:

    Dear Ryan,
    I do believe there is not one single thing wrong with being a momma/grandma's boy. I am one myself and am dam proud to say it. I had a similar thing happen to me as well. it was many many years ago. i was very close to both my grand parents they were my life. they both seemed to get sick about the same time. I lost my grandfather in beginning of december right before christmas and not more than 3 months later i lost my best friend in the world my Grandmother. She died of a broken heart. i have been lost with out them in my life. it gets harder and harder every year to deal with it and they say its supposed to get easier. who know but i am with you on your story. I do cherish every moment and memory i have and had of them. god bless you Ryan Im sure your grandma is looking down on you and smiling every day. blessings and thoughts to you. steve