Thanks for being a Friend

First it was mom telling me I pick bad people as friends and for the most part she has been right. Only one friend I had in school was worth a damn to be honest and we are still friends today. He has never ask anything from me or treated me any different in all the 18 years I have know him. Whenever I needed him he was there if not in person at least with a ear and when he was having issues with his career I was there for him. Now I understand how a friendship is suppose to work thanks Reed!

Growing up I always wanted friends I wanted people to like me but it always seem to be an issue. I was the little kid everyone pick on or made fun of. Oh look its Ryan with his glasses and hearing aids he's suck a dork or nerd. Then it was when you going to grow up little boy look how tiny Ryan is. After a while I just used to being alone and came to like it after a while. I got use to being bullied I think most kids that get pick on get used to it after a while and just deal with it the best way they can.

Kadin tells me now that I still do the same things I used to do in school. I ask him how you know? He said I watch you monkey and you try to hard to make people like you and to make people happy. He said you did the same thing in school I can tell. He's right I did I use to give people whatever hoping they would like me and they did until I stopped then they would go back to picking on me or making fun of me.

What brought this on I loan a friend some money cause he said he was in a bad spot. Kadin told me not to but it was my choice. I did loan it cause I wanted to believe that it can't be like it was in school and that people really do like me for me. When the time came and went for the money to be payback I thought well wonder what happen so I called and ask this person and they said they just got back to work and needed a little time I said ok.

Another month went by and I seen and heard from others that this person got a new car a new iphone and taking people out to dinner going to a concert just spending like crazy. I called again and he said yeah some of that's true but he need a car for work and a phone but he didn't have all the money to pay me ask if I would take payments? I was like ok whatever it takes to get the money back.

The payments haven't came been a month now and when I ask him about it he told me that he wasn't paying me shit cause all I did was harass him and as far as he felt the debt was paid. He went on to say he was only my friend cause he felt sorry for me cause I moved to Florida and didn't have any friends. He said he don't normally have nerds for friends along with a few other words I'm not gonna use.

I don't know it just makes me sad I believe in people and normally get hurt in the end. I don't know why I trust like I do I just do. I want to believe there are good people out there I guess that's why I keep trying I do need to listen to Kadin, Mom & Reed I don't need to do shit for people to make them want to be my friend. I really do need to listen so I'll stop getting hurt.
13 Responses
  1. A Lewis Says:

    The picking and choosing of friends is one of life's big challenges. And it continues right on throughout our entire lives. It is essential to begin to practice picking right, good, positive, healthy, balanced people in your life. Leave the negative and drama behind. You really don't need it. Toxic people are liabilities to you. You need to add as many assets to your life as possible. Begin today Ryan. Practice picking good. Today. And again tomorrow.


  2. Anonymous Says:

    Ryan,

    a true friend is going to like you just because you are you. You don't ever have to try and impress a true friend, sweety. And although sometimes it may seem like there aren't any good people out there, there really is.


  3. naturgesetz Says:

    Generosity is a good thing. I'm sure you are generous with Tyler, Kadin, and all your friends. And I think you are learning a useful lesson here. While generosity (and not always with money or material things) is one part of friendship, it can't make a person your friend.

    If someone "borrows" money from me, I always figure I'm not going to see it again. So I never lend more than I feel I should give away —which is about $20.

    The guy you lent the money to is definitely behaving very badly. His word is no good, and you're well rid of him. But still it hurts when someone treats you like that and talks to you like that. You don't deserve it.

    *hugs*


  4. Eric in Maryland Says:

    Yep sometimes money can be a real issue..the old adage of not loaning money to friends applies here I guess. I have had the same experiences Ryan as far as friends go. The real ones, the ones you can count on will be there no matter what. The others mean nothing since they are just there to use you (or me) and then treat you like shit.

    There are really only go to be a few people who will be there and who you can count on no matter what. No matter how old you are you will find it never changes. Family first..always...including lovers and partners, etc....then friends come next. I have learned that being upfront and sometimes brutally honest works best. As for your ex "friend", he is a complete asshole. I would consider taking him to small claims court but depending on how much he owes you it may not be worth it.

    Nevertheless I would tell him exactly how you feel about him and his freeloading ways. Up to you but you might feel better by telling him exactly how you feel.

    Hugz as always!

    Eric


  5. ryan field Says:

    I have a rule about lending money. I don't believe in doing it because most of the time it causes problems. If someone asks for money and they really need it, I'll give it to them. But I always say I'm giving it, not loaning it. If they want to pay me back, fine. If not, that's fine, too.


  6. jaygeemmm Says:

    Sorry you got taken, that does suck. You don't need a$$es like that in your life. Stick with the people you know well and trust. I hope the amount wasn't substantial, nor more than you could afford to lose.

    Peace <3
    jay


  7. Anonymous Says:

    OMG what a complete jack ass. So sorry that happened to you. Ryan you are far from a nerd. You are a great person with a great life. Sounds like to me, the person you loaned money to is the nerd and hopefully kharma will bite him in the butt later. Sounds like he wasn't even deserving of your friendship in the first place. Hopefully it wasn't too much money but in the end he was the one that lost here. He no longer has you as a friend. He will never get your help in the future should he need it. You now know he was never a true friend to begin with and try to forget about him and his hurtful words. I'm betting money that you are ten times better looking, ten times over all more happy in life than he is. He is a piece of shit and you are a great kind hearted person that is loved back by a wonderful kind hearted person as well (Kbear). Just remember you will always be a better person than this douchebag that ripped you off. What comes around goes around. Ha he'll probably drop his iPhone in the toilet and wreck his car. We can only hope so hahaha


    Chris Havens ((=


  8. jimm Says:

    Is the money really important, or is having friends more important?

    Guess i been thru alot of the same bs. Got no real friends no more tho. Nobody wants to repeat everything they say.


  9. elise Says:

    I'm glad you shared this, Ryan. Lending money and False Friends are lessons many of us learned the hard way.

    Maybe some of your younger readers will get some insight that helps them make some less-painful decisions about these issues as they grow up.

    Also, when you are a naturally giving and sharing person, which I feel I have in common with you, I think we will always find ouirselves in some of these hurtful situations--no matter how cautious we try to be.

    hogs...hugs...hugs....


  10. Anonymous Says:

    Ryan, it's unfortunate that this asshole screwed you out of the money - but just chalk it up to (yet another) of life's learning experiences. Life is school, really - we never stop learning, and I hope you've learned something on this.
    I remember an old saying: if two strangers ask you to settle an argument, do it as you will gain a friend. If two friends ask you to settle an argument, don't do it, as you will lose a friend.
    Loaning money is kinda the same way. I've lost a lot of "friends" by loaning them money, so I pretty much don't do it any more.
    I didn't know you growing up, all I know now is YOU'RE A GOOD PERSON - period! That's all there is to it. Don't sweat the other people, just be your own good Ryan self.
    As Forrest Gump would say, that's all I have to say about that! lol
    AZ Denny


  11. Anonymous Says:

    Sweetie...I've never tried to
    sound like i was nagging...I never
    want you to get hurt...
    When you post pictures of yourself
    on here or on fb it makes people
    want to be your 'friends' till you
    stop showing stuff then they call
    you a tease and all that...
    I've tried to protect you as best
    as I could...You told me over and
    over again that you'd be alright...
    I cry and i cry when i think of
    you being hurt or when someone
    is mean to you...
    I think it's time for this friend
    to get a wake up call and have
    to pay this money back no matter
    what...


    I'm on your side for forever
    and a day!

    I LOVES YOU!!!!!!!

    Mom-2


  12. Chuck Says:

    Wow, dude, that's so weak. Sorry to hear about the tool... Just a real bummer. Chin up though, eh? :) I can tell you know the good things you've got in your life and appreciate the hell out of 'em!


  13. Anonymous Says:

    Dear Ryan, cutie, this life's lesson sucks. But I agree with Ryan Field, and I do it the same way: don't loan - anything: not money, not respect, not love, nothing! Just give!
    Whatever you do, do not expect to get something in return. We can only give what we have, so we should not give something, that we self need and need to get paid back someday. This is the great point in selflessness: you cannot get hurt cause you just give what you have more than you self need.
    And respect your own limits and learn to say "No!" when more is asked of you than you can afford at the moment (emotionally or financially). But don't worry, there is still soo much you can give! :-)

    With love!
    Simon