World Aids Day

Today is world aids day I thought I would do a post on aids and how it effected my life. I heard about aids when I was younger wasn't sure what it was until I ask my mom one day and she explained to me. I still didn't deal with it much cause the few friends I had didn't have it and I wasn't involved with the gay community so I didn't deal with it much.

I remember seeing reports here and there on TV about how many people had died for the virus but it still wasn't clicking with me. Then one day I heard this kid from are school had gotten aids through a blood transfusion so we were told. He came back to school for a couple weeks but he left and never came back.

I was told parents were fighting the school they didn't want him there and some of the kids was bullying him calling him all kinds of names. I guess they him and his parents decided the fight wasn't worth it. I don't know whatever happen to the kid I didn't know him other than speaking to him maybe once or twice.

A little time later I met this older guy online he wasn't trying to pick me up or anything like that he found this blog and started leaving comments and then emails. Turn out he used to be a drag performer years ago and was just living his life the best he could. He answered a lot of questions for that I had that my parents couldn't answer.

See this where I have issues with gay boys they see an old gay man as a troll and yeah I'm sure there are some out there but most just want friendship and take it from me you could learn a lot for someone who been through the ropes a time or two. Think about that next time when you look at an old guy as eww gross cause maybe he not looking at you as a piece of meat but maybe as a friend.

Anyway we met up one day and he was up front and said he would only meet up if one of my parents came also so he could met them cause he didn't want any issues or anything like that. So my mom took me to meet him at Peachtree Center and just like online we hit it off and become great friends he use to come to dinner with my family all the time.

I'm going to make this quick cause I'll get all upset again thinking about it but he was sick and when I first met him I didn't know it he told my parents cause he wanted to be up front with them. He told me sometime later but after he told me he got really sick and he didn't have many friends so me and my folks were there for him as he passed. I have talked about this a little in pass but not much to this day it's still hard on me.

Listen people get tested okay I know they have came a long way but people are still getting this virus and people are still spreading it. Use condoms its simple thing to do so just do it.

I want to dedicate this post to my friend Neil and all those who we have lost to aids.

Click on pic for Aids Info!
8 Responses
  1. Eric Says:

    Great blurb Ryan! I have lived through the entire AIDS crisis since back in 1981 when gay men started dieing and everyone was terrified. Then the right-wing evangelicals like Anita Bryant came forward to attack gay people and use AIDS as a weapon to hurt us even more.

    I had friends who died. It was not their fault. But now we know so much more and yes, condoms are something everyone must use. Sex is great, but death is not. It is never worth the ecstasy of an encounter to get something as awful as HIV AIDS.

    One of my best friends and lovers in my early life in the military was Tony (aka Michael). He was sweet and wonderful and we really cared about each other. In 1984 he died of AIDS. I still remember him and it makes me so many lost their lives in the prime of their life.

    Lastly..agree on the troll issue. I am 53, like younger guys but find some are attacking older guys like me for no reason. If you don't like older guys fine..but please don't act like we are pervs....consenting adults..remember?

  2. Ryan Says:


    ive said this before and will say it again most of my friends are older than me some way older but i can be myself around them and know its only friendship guys my age and younger than me try real hard to get into my pants have no respect for me or kadin.

  3. mary gresham Says:

    Ryan, you know I'm older, 45 to be exact. I think I kind of grew up in a bubble here where I'm from. Sure, we knew about it, but as far as I knew then, it didn't affect anyone in my town. How wrong I was and I only found out recently. My friend mark, who randy and I visited back in august in montanta is HIV pos and has been for over 20 years. His first lover when he was 16 gave it to him. I only found this out once we got to montana. Did it change the way I treated him, no. He is still mark, I still put my arms around him and hugged him for the longest time. I still gave him a big kiss before we left him to come back home. But, it did change the way I feel inside.
    I look back at the 80s and the really stupid stuff I did back then. I thought nothing about having unprotected sex and I had a lot of it. I am so very damn lucky to have never caught any kind of STD.
    But I think of mark and so many others who have HIV and the so many that we have already lost to this horrible disease and I cry. I cry because they didn't deserve for this to happen. I also cry because it seems right now, in my town there are at least 10 plus people who are pos and think it is fun spreading it around by having unprotected sex. One girl even went so far as to intentionally become pregnant and now she has a HIV pos child to raise. Yes, treatments have improved, but to not care if this is passed on makes me mad.
    Ryan, tonight I am going to a memorial service at a church in a town close by, then afterwards, we will go celebrate life at crystals, one of the few gay bars in our area.
    Love you ryan, and I will be thinking about you and your lost friend tonight. I will raise a toast to you both.

  4. Jay Ross Says:

    I came out in the early 60's and it wasn't easy, but after stonewall life became easier and the 70's were wild. Then came the 80's and life became acary. In the early days of AIDS, there was no meds to help and many were dying. I lost a couple of good friends. How I missed it, I'll never know.

    I'm now 75 and young people are not always friendly. Most times I just want to talk. Life gets lonely at times. I'm thankful for Facebook and people like you that contribute. You especially make my life better and I look forward to your every post.

  5. mary gresham Says:

    Jay, you have lived through so much more than I have. And,anytime you need to talk, I'm here, just as I have tried to be with all of my young friends. I am available 24/7. Reading your mention of Stonewall, made me think of my friend that I mentioned in the previous post as his partner was a part of it, he's even had a magazine article written about him. His name is Wes Rogalski, google him.

  6. elise Says:

    Thank you for this post, Ryan.

    It's a very emotional day for me, too. I have lost many friends and colleagues to this horrific disease, including my 1st major crush in junior high, who was infected before anyone even heard of HIV, and before there were any AIDS drugs and so had no chance at all.

    Today it is inexcusable for any school in this country to choose not to provide HIV/AIDS education, starting in elementary school. And that includes how and why to use a condom, and providing free ones to sexually active kids who don't have easy access to them.

    We are sexual beings, and teaching ONLY abstinence is stupid and dangerous.

    And instead of spending gazillions fighting other countrys' wars, and giving tax breaks to wealthy corporations and individuals, we should be better funding the brilliant scientists and wonderful labs that I know can find a cure and a vaccine.

    peace and love.....

  7. Anonymous Says:

    You are my world and God forbid
    anything ever happen to you...
    i'm lost without my children...
    remember that...



  8. ryan field Says:

    Wow! That was a very emotional post. Up until about five years ago, I actually never had any contact with anyone who was HIV+. But then I found out a good friend was diagnosed and I've helped him out and learned a lot since then. But I've been reading a few very disturbing facts, too. Allegedly most who are HIV+ aren't getting/taking their HIV meds. I'm sure it has a lot to do with the cost of these meds. But there are programs and things to look into. And I hope these people try to at least get some meds, because HIV is now considered a chronic disease, not a death sentence. I just wish there were more information out there, about programs and assistance for people with HIV. The meds are thousands of dollars a month and most can't afford them. It kills me to think that people could be living normal lives with the meds and they aren't getting them.

    Sorry for ranting on. It just bothers me.