My Thoughts on the Community

Yeah I know its been a while I keep saying I'm going to start posting again and post more often but I haven't I don't know why it used to be so fun. I still enjoy it just don't seem to be enough time in the day and when I do post I want it to mean something not just some random shit. I've had a couple post in mind and hope to get them on here soon but this one today I need to do for me and others out there.

I want to talk about the gay community I have cover this in the past but I don't think in depth so I need to write about it again. Don't get me wrong I love who I am and I am gay but it's just a small part of who I am it don't define me I define myself. I don't feel the need to flaunt my gay on everyone and sometimes when I see others doing it well it pisses me off. This is not how we get accept by others.

Gay parades, gay month whatever I think it's a good idea I think we need to have them so one day we will have equal rights but stop and think about what we do at these events and when others see it how do they look at us. Everyone knows I am the first person to take my clothes off whenever I can but doing it at pride is that the right place? No I don't think so I think it makes us look bad and again how we ever going to get other to accept us when we act like this?

Gay community talks about standing to make a difference hell they will stab you in the back in a second if they get a chance. Stop and look around just cause were all in the same place maybe a neighborhood or a club do we speak to everyone there oh no we all have our own little click and what do we do point and talk shit about others. Then there the gays you have as friends that will stab you in a heart beat.

Look at me I've been dating Riley for a little while now and it's not been easy and its not us that don't get along its our so called friends that keep trying to break us up by talking shit all the time. We all have a past and sometimes its not good but it is what it is. The thing about the gay community is they have to spill all the dirty stuff they can't keep there mouth shut like oh guess who he slept with omg girl i heard he was bad in bed or oh he got a little dick.

This shit drives me crazy and being around the gay community and the straight community and there is a difference between them. How do we ever accept to be equal to others when we are doing things to our own community to make us look bad? Some things need to be kept quiet like your love life it don't need to be know by all of Tampa or wherever you live. We need to stop stabbing each other in the backs.

We need to stand together as a gay community and show the rest of the world how to live and stop the hate on our own so others will stop hating us. Am I wrong?
5 Responses
  1. mary gresham Says:

    No babe, You're not wrong. You know how I feel about the whole thing. But, know exactly what You're talking about, I see and hear about it with all of my gay friends around here and sometimes I feel stuck right in the middle of it when I'm hearing both sides of the story and it gets really hard to listen to them talk about each other. I've had to distance myself from it because if I didn't, it would drive me nuts.
    I will be perfectly honest, 99% of my friends are gay and I'm proud to call them my friends, but at the same time, I am very careful about what I say to who, because, as I'm sure you know, stuff said in confidence usually gets spread around and blown out of proportion. There are very few friends I feel comfortable telling just about everything to, without having to worry about who else is going to know about it by the end of the day. You, Ryan, are one of them, even tho we haven't met in person, I know I can trust you with anything, the other person is my best friend, Travis. I share just about everything with him. I tell him the crazy stuff Randy and I have done or tried and he laughs right along with me. He is only 21, but we trust each other with our lives. He is supposed to go with Randy and I to Albuquerque next month for GRL. I got his named tattooed in a rainbow sun on my leg a couple of weeks ago, he means that much to me. And, he is moving to West Virginia in a few weeks and I told him that way, no matter where he goes, he will always be here with me.
    As for the Pride stuff, I've seen that too. Not so much the nakedness, but it wasn't far from it. It's good to be proud of who you are, but if you don't respect yourself, no one else is either. Its kind of like what I've said and my friend, Anthony Romero,said in his blog in response to a question about if it bothered him watching his bf have sex on camera because they do porn. Doing porn doesn't define you, it is a job, nothing more, nothing less. It is only a small part of his life. He is in his 4th year of college, due to graduate in Dec. He's also an excellent artist and unpublished author, bit first and foremost is a man, Yes he is gay, bit just as with doing porn, it does not make him the person he is, which is a warm, witty, caring and sometimes bitchy person and I think he is one of the nicest men I have ever met

  2. DavidC.@Facebook Says:

    we are not a perfect world or a community. Its people like us that stand together. To those "friends" who talk shit about you, they are not your real friends. Friends support you in everything you do and waggle their finger at you when youve done some stupid shit lol.

    Love those who love you, always. I have known you since Mikey and I am happy and privileged to have met someone as awesome as you. I love what you have to say and always pray for you and anyone who has the chance to share the love you have to give.

    Keep being you my old friend. and know that you are always loved, no matter how crazy you can get sometimes lol.

    cause thats what a true friend is.

    love, hugs, and much love to you and loverboy. :).


  3. Been thinking about how to respond to this. What you say is VERY true and it's most of the reason why I don't like clubs/bars. I don't "dress right", don't "listen to the hip music", don't know who's "hot" etc and that makes me an outsider. That isn't right. We're so hung up on our cliques that we can't just go up and say hi to someone without fear of being instantly rejected for being ourselves.

    When I was in Costa Rica years ago me and my coworker went to a gay bar in San Jose Costa Rica. You know what? There was an amazing mix of gay men and lesbians and they were all friendly as hell and would actually talk to you. It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever been to. Sure, some guys wouldn't give me the time of day but that's par for the course isn't it? But in general? People would talk to you regardless and it made me want to have that sense of community here in the states. (especially between the gay and lesbian crowd that seems so separate most of the time) And it goes further to me, I want the bisexuals and drag queens and the transvestites to be welcome as well, not feel outcast.

    I don't know how to build that other than seeing it once a year at the parade, not the after affairs of Pride. But yes, throwing it in peoples faces won't necessarily help. A long time customer was surprised to find out I was gay a few years ago and you know what? Nothing changed between us.

    Think it's time for folks in the gay community to stop trying to be "oh so chic" and just be themselves. THAT is how we can show what actual pride is.

    Sorry for the long post. Love ya bro.

  4. ryan field Says:

    Good post, Ryan. What bothers me recently a lot is how some gay people are condemning other gay people because of their politics. I don't think that's fair, and everyone should have a right to their own political beliefs. And as far as I can see...please someone tell me I'm wrong...there ain't no visible politicians fighting hard for anything on the gay issue table. The best I've seen is some politicians pandering to gays, throwing them a bone, to get what they need to run for office: money. They know the gay dollar gets them elected into office.

  5. So I promised to say something & I’m late I know *sigh. Just some random thoughts. “We all have a past and sometimes its not good but it is what it is.” A strong sentence in my ears, in a good way. You’re getting wise dear Ryan :)

    Your expectations at the “gay community”, I don’t know much about it. Makes suffering people special? Because, of course gay people have to suffer a lot. I fear suffering doesn’t make people, speaking generally, better persons, or creates solidarity, makes them special human beings, maybe sometimes, but the same time it often feeds the desire to get back at someone, usually the wrong.

    Well I’m older but not wiser. I hope your expectations in the community will not be in vain. But better you have to get your strength from within yourself and those you love.

    All the best

    & please excuse my terrible English