An Open Heart

Last night at a family christmas party I met some new people some very cool others I'm not sure about. Let me explain this one lady came up to Riley and I and said I was hoping you would both be here your aunt said if I had any questions you would be the ones to talk to. Of course I was wondering about what so I ask her talk to us about what? 

She went on to tell us she had a son who was 10 years old and told her and her husband that he was gay that he liked boys. She said her husband is really upset over this and can't believe that at 10 years old he would know what he liked and if he was gay if he could handle having a gay son. 

Well part of what she was saying floored me and when someone else at the party jump in the conversation and agreed with her husband saying at 10 the boy didn't know what he wanted and was just confused pissed me off. So I told her first off know matter what love him for who he is or who he chooses to love.

Then I told her that her husband and this guy are both wrong that he could already know what he likes cause I knew when I was in kindergarten. The thing is talk to him about it let him know you support him and will always be there for him even if his dad won't be. Talk to your husband maybe he will come around too. 

I also went on and told her she may also needs to read up on gay sex so when it's time she can talk to him about it. I told her gay people are different and start having sex at different times me personally I was really young when I had sex (most of you know I posted about it before) not saying he will but she needs to know so she can be ready to talk to him about it.

Just makes me mad that people think it's a phase he's going through that he don't know what he likes already makes me mad that his dad may turn his back on the boy just cause he's gay. Riley also told her he started young also he also told her if the boy needed someone to talk to we were available. Just wish people weren't scared of what the don't understand just open there minds. 
9 Responses
  1. mary gresham Says:

    I agree with you Ryan. I so wish there was some kind of support program around here, but There's not anything within a 50 mile radius or more.
    But, everyone who knows me, knows how I feel about lgbt rights, either from my car stickers, my tshirts or my tattoos. The tattoos is what brought me one of my very best friends and also brought someone else into my life that I care a lot about.
    I want people to see these things and know that if they need a friend, someone just to talk to or, if they need more, that I'm here, no questions asked.
    If I had the resources, I would start a support group. The problem is, people are all hung ho about starting something, but when it's time to do it, they all conveniently disappear. And, I can't do it on my own. So, all I can do in the meantime is let kids and adults too, know that I'm here and sometimes, that's all that's needed. To know they are not alone and know that it's okay.


  2. mary gresham Says:

    I agree with you Ryan. I so wish there was some kind of support program around here, but There's not anything within a 50 mile radius or more.
    But, everyone who knows me, knows how I feel about lgbt rights, either from my car stickers, my tshirts or my tattoos. The tattoos is what brought me one of my very best friends and also brought someone else into my life that I care a lot about.
    I want people to see these things and know that if they need a friend, someone just to talk to or, if they need more, that I'm here, no questions asked.
    If I had the resources, I would start a support group. The problem is, people are all hung ho about starting something, but when it's time to do it, they all conveniently disappear. And, I can't do it on my own. So, all I can do in the meantime is let kids and adults too, know that I'm here and sometimes, that's all that's needed. To know they are not alone and know that it's okay.


  3. Jay Ross Says:

    Ryan, I agree with both you and Mary. One problem is there are so many people out there that believe being LGBT is a choice. Most of this is a result of their religious background. However, the mother is to be commended and lets hope she keeps giving her son the love he deserves.


  4. Tom Fess Says:

    If the 10 year old saw a girl that he liked, everyone would say "Oh how sweet, he has a girlfriend". No one would say, "it is just a phase he is going through", or that he "didn't know what he wanted and was just confused". Funny how so many people have a preconceived idea how the world should run, and if anything upsets that, then people begin to freak out.
    I just hope the mother and father both will support this young man. I am glad you are there for others to talk to and get your insight.


  5. Teddytoy Says:

    Ryan, I commend you for your mature and honest answers to that woman's questions. Most straights only idea of gay people is what they see on the news and in parades. As we know, what the news picks up, is not the normal gay culture but the few extremes. Seeing normal gay couples always shocks them.. you arent wearing dresses nor are you trying to attack them or their kids. The more 'normal' gay couples and families they see the more we are accepted. There are always a few who will reject us and their children. I would hope that eventually they can realize that their child is that..their child and should be loved and cared for as such. Thanks again Ryan for being willing to help. Have a great holiday!


  6. Jamie James Says:

    I think you did a good job of handling this, especially out of the blue! My favorite resource for parents is PFLAG. There are chapters all over the place.

    For sure, children are identifying as LGBT younger and younger. I work with 11-13yo kids, and while some of them are a little "confused" themselves, it's more because of a lack of words to put with how they know they are.

    The whole sex thing will work itself out. But knowing how to react when he wants to bring boyfriends home for sleepovers, etc. is necessary. That's why PLAG can be a great resource!

    Good job, Ryan!

    Peace <3
    Jay


  7. jimm Says:

    I guess I agree with jamie... it'll work itself out. Ryan, at the least, your family gatherings must be really kool.


  8. Greg Says:

    What a welcome to the family Christmas party, but pretty cool that - whatever their original reactions and thoughts - they were open to talking to you on the subject. Lots of times, people's reactions come from not actually knowing (or realizing that they know) someone who's gay.

    Fingers crossed for that kid and his parents.


  9. ryan field Says:

    I agree with you, Ryan. I knew at 3 years old I liked guys and it wasn't a stage or anything like that.