Cleanin out my closet

Sometimes in life you wake up one morning and realize you made a mistake. Well today that has happen and now I have 2 find a way 2 fix it. I was ask by Carl if I was happy and since then I have done nothing but think. I answer him by sayin for the most part I was. Who am I kidding you all or myself? No one that's who I am not happy and only I can change it but changing it gonna be hard but it has 2 be done. Ugh.................. this is what they mean when they say life sucks!

Also keep an eye open for Calvin he will be joining this blog he is from England and I think will add some new life 2 this blog. Besides I have a thing for Brits well maybe coz I have family there and my Dad is one.

I find these words so true.....
Have you ever been hated or discriminated against, I have, I've been protested and demonstrated against.

Later from Florida!
9 Responses
  1. elise Says:

    You are working on stuff to help you get to a happier place, Ryan, and that's what's important.

    And you have many, many people rooting for you and wanting to help--close by, and far away.

    As for your question--yes, unfortunately, I have experienced discrimination, hatred, threats, property destruction and even personal violence against me, just because I am Jewish.

    But today I'm focusing on peace and love, and celebrating Pride weekend in Chicago!

  2. Anonymous Says:

    You have a big warm heart Ryan, remember it is not how much you love but how much you are loved by others that makes you happy.
    I used to get picked on in school by the bullies because I was "different" and the smallest boy in class. I would go to church and hear the minister say how all HomoSexuals were evil and bound for Hell. I was a torn individual who often felt I would be better off dead. The Minister said I must change my ways but he didn't say how. How can I change how I feel inside? Finally, I realized he didn't have a clue as to how it was to grow up Queer in a straight world. One is only happy if they choose to be. Hugs my friend. Ed

  3. Laurie Says:

    We all know how to make ourselves
    happy. I know what would make me
    happy but, is it the best thing
    for me to do in the long run? I
    have given thought to it over and
    over and in the long run I'm just
    better off to be where I am and
    try to make the best of it.

    You know my situation.


  4. steevo Says:

    Mr. Pensive, eh? Gay guys are usually more sensitive, so welcome to the club. Just don't become a drama queen b4 your time! JK LOL...

    I think we usually know what would make us happy right now, and also what will make us a happy person in the future. Both are important. In other words, be good to yourself. And to others.

    One of my dad's best friends is a very gay-friendly priest. I have no clue if he is gay. Maybe, maybe not. Not an issue. He's known my parents since b4 I was born. He is really part of the family; sometimes vacations with us. He told me recently that the rents had told him a long time ago that they thought I was gay. They wondered if he had any advice. [They were not worried if I might be...] He told them, and one of his ongoing themes is, "If you don't find happiness, how can you share it with others?" He told them to be sure I was happy and secure and well loved and knew how to share it.

    THAT kinda religion I can understand.

    So, Ryan, we have an obligation to make ourselves happy, content, proud, secure, stable... all of these things. It's a journey, not a place we get to one day and say, "Whew. That's over."

    This journey has rough spots, especially at your age. But, hey, you only have 1 summer you are 18. Or 19 or 17. And you ARE in Florida.

    Steevo in cali

  5. Anonymous Says:


  6. steevo Says:

    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    2:48 PM



  7. jimm Says:

    wow ryan, your readers are really impressive!

    I know enough to do the things that I enjoy, and the things that make me happy, on at least a weekly basis. It's like taking a 'time-out' jus for myself.

    Discrimination? all the time, but I'd rather email that one, as it eats up my insides, and is kinda hard to put into words.

  8. sillyboi Says:

    You know where I stand on the hatred and discrimination. I can even send the file to you if i can locate it and everything once i get it off the hard drive that is currently waiting for parts to the pc that I need to finish so i can have the info again. I was an advocate for the longest time, fighting for what I assumed was right, but never actually getting anywhere. Its sad when one discriminates against others because they are different. Be that its the color of their skin, religion, disabilities, whatever the reason. It makes me sick to hear it and when I do I put them in their place.

    Your happiness is what you make it out to be. You gotta do what is best for you, even if your friends and support says otherwise. You have to do what will make Ry, the happiest. Even if it is one of the hardest things you have to do. But you know you have the support of your family,friends and readers. You do what you need and when the time is right you will be able to discuss it and we will be there to help out. Just drop me an email if you would like to read what I wrote and you can even use it on the blog if you wish. Doesnt bother me. All you have to do is just reach out and we will be there for you..

    Ryan, sometime and I believe this with all of my heart. You wear your heart on your sleeve and you get hurt easily because of this. There isn't anything wrong with it, I think alot of us are guilty as sin when it comes to doing that. I know I am and I will admit to it. But you know buddy, sometimes you just need to take some time for yourself and say screw everyone and get things straightened out in your own mind and get your thoughts gathered back up to get whatever you are unhappy about out in the open so it doesnt constantly eat you alive. I know you will get through this cause of everything else you have been through and yet you are still here and I know that you will get through this. So take as much time as you need to work things out in your own mind and your readers, and friends family will be there to support you and give you what you need when you need it. *hugs*

  9. Ryan I know what you mean. There are some changes i'd love to make in my life but who am I kidding?
    I never will.
    Hugs sweetheart.