Yesterday I ask anybody who had a pride story or a coming out story to share with us I have a few people take me up on this. First is a friend of my Luke he's from the UK and has a story to tell. He may also share more with us later he also has a facebook page so check him out. In Luke's own words....................
Ok well way back in the spring or 2002 when i was 23 my grandad passed away, and a few days later and the day before the funeral i was watching t.v on my own it was 10pm on channel 4 on a tuesday queer as folk was on. (the u.k version.) by the end of the episode i just new that a big part of my life was going to change forever,
the death of my grandad woke me up to the fact that we need to enjoy life to the full and be who we are not who people think we are, or want us to be, Now although i had knowen all my life i was gay, at that point in time on that very day i wondered to myself, am i gay, i mean how can i be sure, i had had girl friends in the past and knowen that it was not for me, but how did i know that men were, i had never been with a man before, (a part from an amusing night when i was 14 with my best mates 13 year old brother.)
i had to know, so a few weeks later a was surfing the net when i came across a chat room strait lads, lol, how nieve i was, i thought that it was a chat room for gay guys that were not out, no, no, no... as i found out it was a chat room for gays who like un-out gays, but i met a guy on there called Dale and over the next few weeks we chatted, he was 20, but had been out since he was 14
Now i know that hooking up on the net was a big gamble, he could have been anyone, i got luck in the sence that he was who he said he was. we met in Hampstead in posh leafy north london, near where i was working at the time, he taught me what the rainbo flag meant, and things like what an active, passive was, what twink meant and things that as an out gay man we hwere all the time, words we for get that non gay people wont have a clue what the mean. he had a boy friend, and he told me after a few weeks that he was starting to have feelings for me and wanted to stop meeting me because it was not fair on us or his boyfriend,
Although we had snoged a few times and he had taken me to my first ever gay pub, we we more like teacher and student than an afair, and i respected him and so we never saw each other again.
Well after Dale i knew i would have to start going to gay clubs, to be honest i was looking forward to sex, lol. well i had always wanted it with men and now for the first time in my life i was about to get some.
Well i like to think i am semi good looking but i am not Brad Pitt how ever i had taken a train to manchester as far away from london as i could afford to go, and also the setting in Queer as folk, (sad to say but at that time apart from Dale my only other gay experience was from what i had seen in queer as folk.
Well i got in there and everyone just knew i was fresh meat! lol, bless me. but my god i was fighting them off, not just old queens, (oh and by that i mean no disrespect, a lot of my friends are in there fourtys, but the old queens i'm on about are the type that go for very young not out types, well not only the old queens but guys of all ages very hot guys, i dont think i paid for a drink all night, I'm 31 but look young for my age, when i was 23 i looked about 16, i always had my I.D with me.
Well as you can guess i got fucked seven ways to christmas that night, (safe sex ofcourse.) by this very sexy young guy, his name was Aaron, we ended up dating then one day it months later it was Boxing day, and once again Channel 4 changed my life, The Wizzard Of Oz was on, and my whole family was there, my brother was sat next to me and said get this shit off the T.V its only for Queers and grannys, i thought to myself, you know what i have a boyfriend now, i'm happy as a gay man and i'm not going back, time to behonest and i stood up walked over to the T.v and switched it off, and told my family my bro my sis mum and dad and grandma, i'm gay and i have a boyfriend called Aaron and i'm in love.
Well at first i was not belived at all, cos i acted strait, in the past i had girlfriends, i liked and played most sports, then the next few hours were spent replying to some very sharp questioning, do i take it up the bum, do i dress up as women, do i suck cock, after that i had had enough and called Aaron he was in Manchester with his mum and dad, i was in the midlands with mine, about 100 miles away. he said hold tight and if my mum lets me borrow the car i will pick you up, well i just burst into tears, that night his mum did let him pick me up and i stayed for three days there with him and his mum and dad.
The next time i saw my mum she told me she wanted notthing to do with me ever again and i had to hand her the front door key to her house, "none of us ever want to see you again you dirty little fag hope you catch aids" i tried to call my mum and dad and brother and even my grandma over the years but i am dead to them, only my sister the morman talks to me.
When she told my parents she was a mormon she went through the same type of discrimination, now i'm no fan of the mormon church but i talked my parents round and the stopped cutting her out,
I love my sister, and i wish my family the best, but after all thease years she is the only one how calls me on my birthday and at christmas, so i dont wish to see the rest of them again.
Ok well way back in the spring or 2002 when i was 23 my grandad passed away, and a few days later and the day before the funeral i was watching t.v on my own it was 10pm on channel 4 on a tuesday queer as folk was on. (the u.k version.) by the end of the episode i just new that a big part of my life was going to change forever,the death of my grandad woke me up to the fact that we need to enjoy life to the full and be who we are not who people think we are, or want us to be, Now although i had knowen all my life i was gay, at that point in time on that very day i wondered to myself, am i gay, i mean how can i be sure, i had had girl friends in the past and knowen that it was not for me, but how did i know that men were, i had never been with a man before, (a part from an amusing night when i was 14 with my best mates 13 year old brother.)
i had to know, so a few weeks later a was surfing the net when i came across a chat room strait lads, lol, how nieve i was, i thought that it was a chat room for gay guys that were not out, no, no, no... as i found out it was a chat room for gays who like un-out gays, but i met a guy on there called Dale and over the next few weeks we chatted, he was 20, but had been out since he was 14
Now i know that hooking up on the net was a big gamble, he could have been anyone, i got luck in the sence that he was who he said he was. we met in Hampstead in posh leafy north london, near where i was working at the time, he taught me what the rainbo flag meant, and things like what an active, passive was, what twink meant and things that as an out gay man we hwere all the time, words we for get that non gay people wont have a clue what the mean. he had a boy friend, and he told me after a few weeks that he was starting to have feelings for me and wanted to stop meeting me because it was not fair on us or his boyfriend,
Although we had snoged a few times and he had taken me to my first ever gay pub, we we more like teacher and student than an afair, and i respected him and so we never saw each other again.
Well after Dale i knew i would have to start going to gay clubs, to be honest i was looking forward to sex, lol. well i had always wanted it with men and now for the first time in my life i was about to get some.
Well i like to think i am semi good looking but i am not Brad Pitt how ever i had taken a train to manchester as far away from london as i could afford to go, and also the setting in Queer as folk, (sad to say but at that time apart from Dale my only other gay experience was from what i had seen in queer as folk.
Well i got in there and everyone just knew i was fresh meat! lol, bless me. but my god i was fighting them off, not just old queens, (oh and by that i mean no disrespect, a lot of my friends are in there fourtys, but the old queens i'm on about are the type that go for very young not out types, well not only the old queens but guys of all ages very hot guys, i dont think i paid for a drink all night, I'm 31 but look young for my age, when i was 23 i looked about 16, i always had my I.D with me.
Well as you can guess i got fucked seven ways to christmas that night, (safe sex ofcourse.) by this very sexy young guy, his name was Aaron, we ended up dating then one day it months later it was Boxing day, and once again Channel 4 changed my life, The Wizzard Of Oz was on, and my whole family was there, my brother was sat next to me and said get this shit off the T.V its only for Queers and grannys, i thought to myself, you know what i have a boyfriend now, i'm happy as a gay man and i'm not going back, time to behonest and i stood up walked over to the T.v and switched it off, and told my family my bro my sis mum and dad and grandma, i'm gay and i have a boyfriend called Aaron and i'm in love.
Well at first i was not belived at all, cos i acted strait, in the past i had girlfriends, i liked and played most sports, then the next few hours were spent replying to some very sharp questioning, do i take it up the bum, do i dress up as women, do i suck cock, after that i had had enough and called Aaron he was in Manchester with his mum and dad, i was in the midlands with mine, about 100 miles away. he said hold tight and if my mum lets me borrow the car i will pick you up, well i just burst into tears, that night his mum did let him pick me up and i stayed for three days there with him and his mum and dad.
The next time i saw my mum she told me she wanted notthing to do with me ever again and i had to hand her the front door key to her house, "none of us ever want to see you again you dirty little fag hope you catch aids" i tried to call my mum and dad and brother and even my grandma over the years but i am dead to them, only my sister the morman talks to me.
When she told my parents she was a mormon she went through the same type of discrimination, now i'm no fan of the mormon church but i talked my parents round and the stopped cutting her out,
I love my sister, and i wish my family the best, but after all thease years she is the only one how calls me on my birthday and at christmas, so i dont wish to see the rest of them again.
It's really sad that people can be so narrow-minded and hateful. And amazing that the only one to stand by him at all is a Mormon, since the Mormon church disapproves of homosexuality. Good for the sister.
Nice post!
I'll tell you, the utter stupidity of some people just infuriates me!!! How you can throw away your son because he's gay is just beyond me...I really believe that there is a special place in hell, for those types of people... I wouldn't want to be in their shoes, for all kinds of reasons... The error is compounded when you add religion to the mix, as many seem to do- equate the absolute love of Christ with this type of evil thinking!! IDK, I'm tired of being sad about it... I'm feeling very confrontational lately... I think that maybe that's the only way things are ever going to change!! luv, tman<3
that's a nice post
that is rly sad bro i feel ur pain my dad is the same way with me. I feel for u and i wish i could call u but ya im in the US and ur in the UK. But if i could i would def call u
I could never turn my back on
my children...NO MATTER WHAT! Y'all
are gifts to me...I would rather
have my children gay then dead or
handicap then dead...I want my
children how ever the Lord wants
them to be...
I love you!!!!!!
'Mom'
Sad. Sad. But keep your head together, send love to them, forgive them and then someday, hopefully, things will turn around.
In the meantime, grow your own family, keep loving yourself, and give yourself permission to be who you are.
I have learned over the years that when it comes to family you just never know how they will react to anything. I do hope that someday they realize the mistake they have made by acting this way.
I know I have had issues with my sister and brother just totally not getting things and that make you grow apart.
Take care of urself and live life as you see fit.
That is incredibly sad! I have always took for granted how open minded my parents are, but then I hear stories like this and my heart breaks, but my eyes open again to how understanding my parents are. I'm so sorry you had to be put through this. nobody deserves it.
lots of love!
ittyK