Girly Boy?

Had a pretty good weekend had its ups and downs. Friday night we went over to some friends for wine & snacks and a little body painting. lol I know right but its something we do once a month and believe it or not its rather fun and relaxing. Kadin's been into a long time and introduce me to it and of coursed I loved it. These friends are really cool and Kadin has know them for a very long time and they welcome me in the first time I met them. The one couple have been together for 18 years so there if proof that 2 men can make it together for a long time.
Saturday night was another dinner with some friends I didn't want to go for many reasons. First I never felt welcome they make me feel like an outsider and second is the all star race was on Saturday night and I wanted to watch it. I know I know for Kadin I will do anything so I recorded with the dvr. So off we went to dinner with some friends. There's one guy there I don't care for at all and he always has a new guy every time but whatever its his life. Normally the guys he picks just gets under my skin so bad I can't stand it.

This time wasn't any different so let me explain. The gay community sometimes gets on my last nerve. I may have written something in the past about this I don't know but I'm gonna write about it again. I use to have a problem with drag queens I think the main reason is I didn't understand them but after sitting down talking with them I understand a little better now. But the thing that drives me crazy the most is a guy who acts like a girl even refers to himself as a girl.

Last night this guy brought his date this guy was so freaking flaming his light would never go out. I don't mind a guy being somewhat girly but so girly you want to slap him and tell him you have a cock and balls use them! I sit there and listen to this girly boy go on and on finally I had enough and I said why don't you act like a man. Omg I started world war 3 up in there. People were coming at me left and right telling me I had no right judging him and I should be ashamed of myself.

Hell they wanted to take my gay card from me lol I tried my best to explain but they wasn't gonna hear it. Finally the one guy who is Kadin's friend told me I wasn't right for Kadin I was too redneck somewhat white trash WTF somewhat fuckface I am white trash and proud of it! Really I don't understand this part of the gay community I am a boy and I like boys I don't want someone who acts like a girl cause then I would just be with a girl.
Your thoughts please?
12 Responses
  1. Carl Says:

    Everyone has a right to feel the way they do. Who is worse, someone who is honest about how they feel or someone who hides how they feel. I would rather know the truth about someone than someone who hides.

    That is one thing I respect about you. You don't hide.


  2. jaygeemmm Says:

    Yes, but aren't others allowed to like whom they wish? I kind of look at it like this: I'm gay, so why should a straight guy worry about me? Less competition for him. As a gay guy, it's fine if someone else prefers a different type of man than I do because it's less competition for me!

    You shouldn't judge others, and as far as the social settings, if someone gets under your skin either buck up and let it go, or leave, Kadin notwithstanding. It can't be worth getting into a shouting match over something that truly does not affect you at all.

    Now you know I normally come down on your side, Ryan, but this time, I think you're wrong. Remember...judge not lest ye be judged...

    Peace <3
    Jay


  3. Ryan Says:

    thanks carl i think you got what i was saying.

    i just want to make it clear that nobody should be bullied over how they act.

    its just being a gay guy i dont understand this and why guys act like this but gives nobody the right to pick on them or bully them cause they do!


  4. Eric Says:

    Ryan....yeah it is always tough to hold your tongue. I have never been a fan of very feminine guys but I respect their rights and would defend them the same as anyone.

    That being said, agree that we sometimes have to just buck up and say nothing. When I open my mouth is when I tend to get in trouble, especially if I am pissed off.

    I have tried to judge others less lately...at least on their looks, mannerisms, or weight. But, if they are assholes who try to deny others equal rights (in other words us gays) then it is a different story.

    So yep agree with Jay but still love ya babe!

    Eric


  5. naturgesetz Says:

    I'm with Jay on this. You have a perfect right to your feelings, and I basically feel the same way you do about guys who are extremely feminine.

    But in a social setting like that your main job is to get along with everybody else. Everybody, yourself included, will be happier if you force yourself to keep opinions like that to yourself. It may not be easy, but you can do it.

    Here's a tip that might help. If somebody annoys you a lot, ask Kadin to step away for a private conversation, and tell him how you feel. That way you don't have to keep your feelings bottled up, but you also avoid starting a fight.

    Now if somebody says something really outrageous, like he likes dogfights, you are entitled to tell him that you think we should treat all animals humanely. The more calmly you do it, the better. Again, you avoid bottling up your feelings, but you may also avoid starting a big fight.

    Ask Kadin to help you keep your cool if he notices you getting upset.


  6. jaygeemmm Says:

    I still don't think that you should get up in someone's face over their mannerisms. As you say, no one should be picked on or bullied but isn't that exactly what you did? If I am reading the post correctly, you made fun of someone outloud because you don't care for feminine gays. I wholeheartedly agree that you are entitled to your opinion, but in the interest of ettique you should have bitten your tongue, left the room or otherwise channeled your thoughts in a nonconfrontational way. I love you, too, Ryan, but I'll not hesitate to point out what I see as immature behavior. BTW, how did the target of this comment respond? How about his friend? How about Kadin? Oh and they were also wrong for judging you and saying you aren't right for Kadin. But two wrongs don't make a right either. Just sayin' big guy. Peace <3
    Jay


  7. Anonymous Says:

    Sadly it is usually the flaming screaming fairy queens that the media focus on in news reports ( think coverage of gay pride events) and I am set back by it. They make everyone out to be this way and its embarrassing to the rest of us who are not ! I am a guy, I like guys and want a man to be a man, not act like a girl or be nelly! If I wanted to be with a girl I would be straight!!! This is MY PREFERENCE. I see no reason to act like many do just because your GAY. Having said this, I also respect the other persons right to be whatever they want, as long as they don't push it on me. I guess that's why I hang with my click and that is usually the preppy crowd..
    BTW, long term relationships do exist in our community ( meaning more than a few month's LOL) , my partner and I have 14 years under our belt, and we are still happy in every aspect..........................Jon Winship


  8. I'm honestly not sure how I feel about this. I do understand how sometimes more effimanat guys can be somewhat annoying. But there are times that I play around with some of my other gay friends by saying things like "Ooh Girl!". Granted, we're doing it just because it's fun and just between us. But sometimes I think it does go to the other extreme as well, and that's a person's personal choice so what right do I have to say anything?

    I know we all reach our breaking points, and yes, sometimes things like this make me want to say the same thing too. I don't think that they had the right to say what they did to you either. Hell, I don't get the whole leather man thing and to some degree it just seems dumb to me. We all are allowed to have our own opinions on things and our own feelings.

    I'm not sure what to say about how the whole situation went down, but it just sounds like you were coming from two VERY different places (and apparently the other side can't see you for what a wonderful guy you are).


  9. FOGGY Says:

    On June 27th, 1969, at the Stonewall Inn in New York City, the "Gay and Lesbian Liberation" began. I was 23 years old. We became visible and united. It was US against THEM, and nothing could divide us.

    Forty two years later, the "cause" has come full-circle. Instead of US against THEM, it is US against US. We have become our own worst enemy, and I am just as guilty as the next guy. It's so sad.............

    Respectfully,...... "FOGGY".....


  10. Anonymous Says:

    Did you ever stop to think how that young man must feel? I mean he has probably had to put up with that taunting and teasing and harassment all his life. And now even as a young adult he still had to hear it and defend himself. Like you he wasn't asked to be born this way, it's just the way he is. Can you agree with that? I wonder how he felt when you told him to "Act like a man" I sure he has heard those words before maybe from his father or mother or people at school. I'm just asking did you ever stop and think about his feelings first and how they can feel like a punch in the gut? You’re a good person I'm sure but if ever we are all going to increase the love we have to stop the hate in all shapes and forms.

    Adam


  11. Anonymous Says:

    I avoid drag queens. I'm a closet case. I enjoy guys who act like guys. I'm on your side.

    A statement made by a mentor year ago still rings true: "If you can't remember me kindly, then kindly don't remember me."

    Another mentor told me "The perfect companion should be compatible socially, be a chef in the kitchen, and a whore in the bedroom."

    I'm still seeking that perfect companion.

    Out of side, out of mind. Don't make me watch.
    KJ


  12. E-G Says:

    I suppose Gays are like Crayolas there are tons of colors and some of them you like a lot and some you might leave in the box until they get neglected and crack from mishandling. You forget how fascinating the collection was when it was all brand new.
    It is good you are accepting people in all their shades of glory.
    You are like everyone else in finding your preferences of personalities to gravitate towards. I think it is admirable that you are so open minded.
    Nice Post.
    E-G