What's New I'm Confused

Kadin has these friends he has know for a long time they are somewhat older than we are there a straight couple but very open minded people. I think they were like flower power people from the 60's nothing wrong with that trust me if I grew in the 60's I know I would have been. They been good friends to Kadin since he been a little boy and he likes them a lot.

Ya'll know most of Kadin friends I don't get along with that well but this couple I do and they been very nice to me and have welcome in like they knew me forever. Like I said they are very open minded people and have talked to both us about gays and there feelings and very happy that Kadin and I found each other even when me and Kadin went thru our little trouble they help us get thru that rough patch.

This is the deal they have a son he's 12 and they say he's transgender when I first met the boy I will call him Sam I really thought it was a little girl. He dressed like a girl his room was all girly and he played with girl toys. It was months later that I found out he was a boy we were over visiting and I excuse myself to use the bathroom I went down the hall and the bathroom door was open but when I turn to walk in Sam was standing there peeing. I was shocked I was like Sam's a boy!

He didn't say anything other than sorry I should have closed the door. I went back to the living room where everyone was and I must have had a look on my face cause I was ask what was wrong? I said Sam is a boy with confusion in my voice. They were like you didn't know that I was like no. They said to Kadin you didn't tell him? He said I didn't think about it cause Sam has always been a girl to me.

Reason I bring this up is we were over not long ago and Sam is doing fine and still dresses like a girl and says he is a girl with a boy penis. He also wants it removed but knows he has to wait until he is 18. Course I have ask question to his parents and to him but I'm still confused on things. He is homed school and I think that is good and bad but understand why he is.

He has friends that are both sexes and seems to get along great with them I'm not sure if they know the truth or not. I don't understand transgender that well I have to be honest I do know some personal but haven't wrap my mind around it that well. My question was it right for Sam's parents to allow him to live as a girl even though he was born a boy? If he wanted to after he got older then that would be on him.

What do you think?
9 Responses
  1. Cheeky Says:

    WoW...interesting topic. I have watched documentaries on this topic and I struggle with what I think the right thing to do is - I can see both sides (I think you and I are thinking alike)....until I am personally faced with it - its hard to say. I just hope at the end of the day - that little Sam is happy


  2. Anonymous Says:

    Hmmm, that's interesting. I think personally it has to depend some on the parents' religious practices. My parents on one hand, said that by being gay, I would never be accepted by them. Maybe the parents knew there was something 'odd' about Sam...and maybe by letting him do the things they allowed at a young age that was their way of accepting it.
    I don't understand the transgender sex all that much myself...

    *just a personal thought*


  3. Carl Says:

    Of course is it OK. Is Sam loved? Is Sam happy? Then there is no issue.

    Ryan, I know you don't understand transgender and neither do I. I think everyone deserves to be happy no matter who they are.


  4. ryan field Says:

    I think the whole transgender thing starts very young. Most older transgenders say they knew when they were kids.

    So I think I'd be doing exactly what this kid's parents are doing...allowing her to be who she feels most comfortable being. It might save a lot of time and money in the future regarding therapy. And I'm sure the kid knows which feels better, being a boy or a girl. I don't think we give kids enough credit sometimes. I'm glad this kid's parents are offering support.


  5. Teddytoy Says:

    Ryan, Transgendered people are a very unique group. They aren't necessarily gay or str8. But their feelings are similar to what a gay person goes thru, except that their body doesn't match their mind.

    When you were born you were a gay man,
    As your body and mind tell you.. you are a man that has a natural attraction to men. Sam's tells him he is a woman, and he may be attracted to men or women or both.

    He needs family support just as you do. And, I'm glad to hear, his family apparently accepts him as he feels.


  6. naturgesetz Says:

    Two thoughts: one coldly clinical and one personal.

    As I understand it, genetically, biologically, he is completely male. Somehow, psychologically he feels female. This is, IMO a psychological problem. Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be any standard, well-known psychiatric cure. That is why many opt for a surgical "cure."

    But the little boy is not simply a clinical case. He's a human being with feelings that must be respected. He needs love and affection. His parents are responsible at this stage of his life for deciding what is best for him. I suppose a friend could ask in a friendly way, "Have you considered psychotherapy?" But basically, even though the parents' way of handling the situation seems mistaken to me, it's not our place to suggest to them that they're bad parents or anything of the sort. They've got a very unusual child to raise, and they're doing what they believe is best for him. And since you've already asked about it and gotten answers and you're not an expert on the subject, it's probably best to drop the subject and accept things as they are.


  7. Jay M. Says:

    I think his parents are dealing with a situation that is quite unusual, but maybe not so...just that many of them don't respond so well, and try to force a child to live as their physical body shows, instead of what their brain is telling them. I know one transgender person here in the blogworld, and I know he wishes he'd been raised as a guy instead of a girl. Sam's parents seem exceptionally perceptive, and I suspect they are convinced they have a girl in a guy's body. He'll need a lot less counseling or psychotherapy than the TGs who are forced into the body they sport instead of the world their brain inhabits.

    Peace <3
    Jay


  8. surakmn Says:

    Sounds like Sam's parents are pretty smart. They're willing to let him be who he is and express his own identity without forcing other people's expectations on him. As he grows up we'll see where he lands on the gender spectrum. What matters is he's happy, healthy, and has a good productive life.


  9. Andrew Says:

    Actualy there is a well-known psychiatric cure. Its all in the DMS 4, now lets not forget that up untill 1974 Homosexuality was seen as a "Mental Illness" ok having said that, I am a transexual male, we {trans people} have to see a therapist before any physical transition can take place, then we get a letter from the therapist that allows us to then start hormones and/or have the surgeries , this is the treatment, the end result is a cure...we at some point are free, we know peace, as we are finaly in the gender that is correct for us, if your comfy with your gender, close your eyes now imagain the oposite anatomy on your body...yeah thats how we feel, there is so much information out there now, i guess you just got to look for it if you want to really know something, for those who want further understanding please contact www.forgefl.org a training or educational program is avaialable for anyone wanting further understanding. I have a medical condition not a mental illness, once the medical needs are taken care of.....there is happiness, freedom, peace, there is the truth.
    I am happy to answer any questions as long as they are put forth respectfuly. Andrew