Last week I got an email from someone in my past I was shocked when I first seen the name and then got a little pissed thought what could he want from me. I ask Kadin to read it first and if it had to do with hate or with bullying then I didn't want to see it. So he read it and said I think you should read it. So I sit down and I read it and boy did I get a shock before I go into the email I need to tell you a little about the person who wrote it.

Back in school I was bullied I've wrote about this before I just haven't really went into details on it. This event I'm talking about happen back in the 6th grade. It was a new school year and I was the chosen one to be picked on being short back then wearing hearing aids and glasses I was the prime pick for the school bullies. Being called four eyes, queer, retard, fag was a daily thing for me besides the punching and whatever else they wanted to do.

A couple weeks went by and we had this new kid start and the attention went off of me and on to this kid. He was chunky kid and boy did the bullies pick on that and ran with it. I felt sorry for this kid but deep down also I was glad he came cause it took them off me. I knew it was wrong to feel this but I did. Life got hard for this kid and the bullies never stopped I would see this kid and the sad look in his face but I didn't do anything to stop them from attacking him.

One day at lunch I was sitting alone like I always did and I didn't see this kid or the bullies. I was eating lunch when they walked in and came right to my table and started messing with me one of them took my tomato juice and dump it on my head. They all laughed and walked away the teacher who was a bitch came over and all she said was go clean yourself up she seen what happen but didn't do a damn thing about. I heard later she got fired for not stopping kids from bullying.

Anyway I went to the bathroom to clean the juice off my head and clothes and I heard someone crying so I walk over to the stall and there was Todd the chunky kid sitting on the floor crying. I ask him what's wrong he looked up at me said I can't take it anymore Ryan I just can't take it they made me lick the toilet I just can't take it anymore. I could see the look in his eyes I knew he was thinking about doing something bad to himself and I said Todd please don't do whatever your thinking I can fix this.

He ask how can you fix this they pick on you too. I said I'll think of something and I did! I came up with a way to get them off of Todd and back on me I knew I could handle it I knew I had the strength that Todd and many other kids didn't have to get through the bullying. I told Todd if you want these guys to stop fucking with you then you have to pick a fight with me. He said he couldn't do that and I said do you want to keep getting pick on?

The next at lunch Todd came in with a different look on his face I knew he thought about it and game was on. He came up to me and said give me your lunch I said no he called me some names and said give it to me and by this time other kids were looking at us. He said he was going punch me in the face if I didn't give up my lunch and I said no by then the bullies were standing behind him telling him yeah hit the queer.

I knew Todd didn't have it in him to hit me I could see the look on his face and I knew he didn't want to. Todd said I cant hit him he has glasses on one of the bullies smack me said he don't know so punch him. Todd was almost at tears I look at him said do it Todd do it! Bam he hit me hard and I fell on the ground then one of the bullies said stomp on his glasses and Todd did. From that day on they never picked on Todd again.

The following year Todd was gone I heard his dad transfer again with his job. I never really talked to him again after that day I think maybe he wanted too but was scared if the bullies found out they would go back to picking on him so he just never did talked to me again. That was until last week when I got an email from him.

He said he been trying to find me and finally found my facebook and had to email me. He said that day he hit me has haunted him for years and they hell I went through after that day. He wanted to apologize for putting all that hate on me and wanted to tank me also cause he didn't think he could have made it a few more days if I didn't stick up for him. He told me that what I did for him meant the world to him and believes he is alive today cause of me.

He hopes that I could forgive him for being a coward and for the hell I went through cause he wasn't man enough to take it. I wrote him back gave him the link to this blog told him I would write about and would have my responses on here. So Todd I forgave you the day it happen and I never felt any anger or hate toward you I felt we both did what we had to do to survive. I don't think your a mean person I didn't think that back then and I don't think that now.

Thank you for looking me up and for telling me sorry. Glad things turn out good for you and them punks that bullied us back then yeah well they didn't amount to much now did they? All is forgiven Todd we made it!
14 Responses
  1. lauradeth Says:

    I was bullied, it feels so good to come out the other side, doesn't it :)

  2. Ric/Teddytoy Says:

    Ryan ... this is exactly why people love you so much. You see people and creatures with your heart and soul. The pain you suffered has molded you into a really great person. You have learned to protect others and care for them without regard for yourself.
    You make everyone of us very proud to know you.

  3. ryan field Says:

    I wasn't bullied. I used be a lot meaner than I am now. But I always did stick up for the kids who were bullied. I hated to see that. I even got into fights sometimes because of it.

  4. Jay Ross Says:

    Ryan - You are an amazing person and the world needs more people like you - a lot more!

  5. mary gresham Says:

    Ryan, I agree with Ric. You are a wonderful person. Remember what you said about me, well you are an even better person than I am.
    I dealt with my share of bullies in school and so did my oldest son, he got it for the same reasons u did. I know it hurt, but he overcame it all and is a great man and husband today, he showed them all he was and is, better than them. He's only a year older than you and he's accomplished more with his life tham most of his classmates put together. Thanks Ryan for sharing. Luv u babe!

  6. naturgesetz Says:

    Ryan, this is one of the most heroic things I've ever heard of. It is also one of the most Christian things I've ever heard of.

  7. naturgesetz Says:

    I also think God got you to the bathroom at the right time so you'd be able to help Todd.

  8. elise Says:

    This post is another reason I'm so glad you decided to continue blogging.....you have an important voice and messages to share.....big hugs and much love, elise

  9. jimm Says:

    Ryan, your Awesomeness shines bright!!!

  10. Ryan, you're really talented to bring ppl to tears.

  11. jimm Says:

    I meant to put in a few words for Todd, too.

    When bullied as a youngster, most of us didn't really know how to respond or battle back. We all came up with different methods. A lot of kids are too embarrassed to seek help. In your case, Ryan was there for you. No need to feel shame.

  12. FOGGY Says:

    ...... we need to clone about a million more - just like you.

  13. Phil Yabootz Says:

    It's hard to feel sorry for bullies and so difficult to understand them. Bullying has been around forever but their twisted little lives catch up with them eventually.

    My concern is over the last 10 or 15 years measures have been taken to combat bullying which has merely driven them underground and social networking sites have given them the means to remain anonymous.

    Clearly the methods currently employed are not working. How many more suicides will it take for somebody to come up with a different workable answer.

    Segregate them, pack them off to boot camp, somehow teach them empathy, I don't know.

    Personally I was stubborn enough to stand up and fight often resulting in injury to myself and occasionally to them.

    Unfortunately others are not so well equipped to combat it. It is those that are not bullies but do nothing that should feel the most shame.

    If you ignore it you are effectively part of it. Make a stand and help those that need it.

  14. Gerry Kelly Says:

    Thanks for standing up for a friend even though it means difficulties for you. You are better person today for what you did in the 6th grade and You NOW know what a difference it made to that boy.

    God Bless YOU always. You are special!