A Man and His Thoughts

When I first starting blogging back some 8 years ago I did it for me a way to be me. As many of you know I was bullied in school and being gay well there is issues there when your in school. So I started blogging as a way out never thinking that I would make so many good friends through the years. Reason I am writing this post now is another blogger who came back to blogging after being question if he was real or not. He stated he was being bullied online and so was his friends and family not sure how that works unless he has there info on his blog.

Anyway I was 15 when I started blogging and at first I did keep myself hide I didn't want people to know who I was hell I was 15 and gay didn't need anymore heat on me. But after a while I got to know some of you my regulars and it got more easier for me to come out and stop hiding who I was. Now over the years I have had haters and people who came on here and tried to bully me into going away. Hell for a while I had Fred Phelps and his people commenting on here with all there hate. Then I turn 18 and I came out online and decided to show the world who I was.

There are 2 blogs that I don't agree with what they say when ask why they wont revile who they are. I personally don't care why they don't but there reasons just don't sound true to me. They claim the reason they don't is that they are scared someone will show up at there do and do bad things to them. I don't believe this sorry I just don't. My reason is I've been doing this blog for 8 years and a lot of you I have never met in my life but we exchange Christmas cards most of you know I live in Bradenton, Florida and have my facebook page and I have never had anybody show up at my door.

Now it's your choice if you don't want to show who you are and we as readers have to believe in what your telling us or move on. Just be up front and say I don't want to share pics with anyone and let it be that. Don't use the excuse fear cause that makes you sound funny and puts questions in people's minds. It don't matter to me either way cause I don't really read these blogs but I just couldn't let the excuses they use go by without making a post about it. Just do your blogs they way you want there yours and write what you want just when you put doubts in everyone's head then is when you have problems and questions.

Just my 2 cents!
6 Responses
  1. lauradeth Says:

    I see why a lot of people don't reveal their ID on their blog but there's reasons and there's excuses.

    If you don't want people to know who you are then either use a fake name and keep any personal details to yourself.

    People would only know where to find you, if they have access to your details.

    My 2 cents is that if you're scared that they'll find you maybe you shouldn't have put your details up in the first place, but that's just me.

    How's your tree looking Ryan? :)


  2. RIc/Teddytoy Says:

    Seventeen years ago I started a web page.. blogs weren't around then ... live web cams were the hot thing then and I had one on 24-7 ... and still have it today but only by request ... but in that time I have never had anyone try to make a physical contact unless I invited them.
    I found that if you are open about your life to everyone .. then there is less chance that you will be bothered. They either accept or move on. You do have to use some common sense tho. I even made a habit of telling perspective employers during the interview that if they had a problem let me know now and the interview would be over.
    You are very right about being open. The biggest problem we have is being afraid of the truth and afraid to stand up for ourselves.


  3. ryan field Says:

    "I found that if you are open about your life to everyone.. then there is less chance that you will be bothered."

    I agree with @Ric/Teddytoy. I've always been open and honest with my blog and the gay content, and even though I have had a few negative things happen, for the most part I haven't been bothered. I also like the feeling of being able to say: this is who I am and I'm proud of it.

    I agree with you, Ryan. I don't follow, or take blogs seriously, when I can't get a *grasp* on who is doing the blog. I really don't care what they do. It's a matter of choice and not for me to say. But in the same respect I don't take them as seriously and wind up dismissing them.

    Another factor to consider is longevity with blogging. As an openly gay writer I've been around for twenty years and I'll be around for another twenty. As blogger I've been around for four years and I'll be around for another four. But I've seen my fair share of gay blogs crash and burn over the years. I've seen scandals and lies. And I think I good deal of it had to do with holding back.


  4. Jay M. Says:

    There are a lot of reasons why people remain anonymous here. Too many to list. There's several people here in the blogworld that I correspond with outside the blogs, and I have no idea what their names are, and don't intend to ask. They have their reasons, and if they choose to share those reasons, that's fine.

    Openness is good, but remember that there are valid reasons to remain hidden. I don't think you can condemn anyone for doing so, unless they are bullying or otherwise being mean or unfriendly to a particular person. You can always click "Next" in the bloglist!

    Peace <3
    Jay


  5. Barb Says:

    I had to think about this for several hours before I responded. I guess I just don't understand why this is an issue. It sounds like you're only questioning the 'reasons' why a person chooses to remain anonymous instead of just the 'fact' of being anonymous or open.

    Maybe I'm just confused as to what you're saying...I'm a straight, white, female with a blog. Do I need to prove those things by revealing myself and personal details?

    Or, is it just the 'reason' why a person wants to remain anonymous that bothers you? Is it less legitimate to say you want to remain anonymous due to fear of potential bullying or stalking than it is just to not give any reason at all? Who's to say that this stalking couldn't or hasn't actually taken place?

    I have to agree with Jay, if I'm understanding him correctly. If I enjoy someone's blog, who and where they are and whether they want to remain anonymous doesn't really matter. If I enjoy their posts, humor, music, etc, fine. If I don't, I just won't read it.Blogs are basically entertainment (at least the ones I read). They're not a serious commitment or an emotional buy-in which would be traumatic if I found out that the writer was not someone I thought they were.

    Anyway, just my thoughts...


  6. When I was writing my blog, I would use different names for people in my life because that was my only fear...that they would read something about them and be upset (plus it was about MY life not their so....)

    I agree that if you don't want to put up your picture, then fine, don't do it. Worried someone at work will find your blog and out you? Well...there's ways around that too I'm sure.

    I guess my problem is that I can see both sides of the coin to some degree. I can imagine that someone is going to come to their house mind you...but the fear of having the blog read by a coworker, etc...yeah I can understand that. So I guess, if they are really that scared of something, they should just use a different name or screen name for their blog. Just my thought is all.