Is this stupid or what?

Trying to understand people I know I will never understand people. But really I have this friend who has to be one of the stupidest people I know. Okay let me break this down for you maybe you can get me to understand or agree with me. My friend has been saying he's been dating this guy for over 6 months now the thing is they live in different states and have never met in person.

This isn't the first time he's done this he dated another guy online for months and never met. Now this guy he's dating now they talk online they text and even talk on the phone hell they even fight. My problem is this they have never met so I say that they are really not dating how can you date someone you have never met in person. Well of course this pisses him off and he said I don't understand.

My question is this am I wrong? I know all the bullshit online and I know the games people play online. But how can you say you love someone call them a boyfriend when you have never really met them before. I don't know this just seems so damn stupid to me. Am I the only one who feels this way or is there's others out there who have done this?
10 Responses
  1. Jay M. Says:

    I know of others who have done this, and it has never turned out well. I also know people who met first online, then later IRL, and things were wonderful.

    But I tend to agree with you. Part of a relationship is proximity. I, at least, need to hold, touch, breathe beside my boyfriends (if I ever find one). I wouldn't necessarily call it stupid to "date" online, because it's entirely possible that some people simply can't date/have a relationship in what we call a "normal" way. So this is their manifestation of a boyfriend relationship. Who am I to judge?

    Peace <3
    Jay


  2. randster25 Says:

    You are correct, it's stupid.


  3. mary gresham Says:

    I totally agree. It's one thing to meet online, then meet in person and connect with that that person and then call them a boyfriend or girlfriend, but to call them that before ever meeting, that's just not cool.


  4. FOGGY Says:

    When one goes out on a date, one usually "Goes Out" on a date - that is to say, physically getting out of the house, meeting your potential life partner, and getting a good "hands on" (poor choice of words, maybe) observation of the possibility of a solid mutual growth towards an everlasting relationship.

    However; in today's "hi-tech" world of iPads, Internet and Skype - it may be a good preliminary step to establish whether the "hands on" step would be worth the airline ticket or gas money needed in order to accomplish "the touch" that no iPad could ever relay to one's fingertips.

    "BZ" ..... "FOGGY" :)


  5. naturgesetz Says:

    A date is a prearranged meeting between two people, usually to try to develop a relationship. It's part of what used to be called "courting."

    The problem is that there is no established terminology for relationships that are purely over the internet. There can be chats and messages, of course. Is there a difference between a long-distance relationship where people dated and then one moved away, and one where they've never met at all?

    It has always struck me as a little bit unrealistic for people to call themselves boyfriends when they've never met. But if neither is interested in finding someone else, if they feel in love, what else can they say? It's not the same thing as having an imaginary friend.

    Maybe they should call it a cyber-date.


  6. ryan field Says:

    I hear you. I know what you're saying. And I agree for the most part. But I sometimes think it's different with online friends/relationships. I love you in an online/cyber way and we've never met :)


  7. lauradeth Says:

    My friend was currently in this position for over a year. She's form UK, he was in America. She knew him threw an American friend of hers but it was over a year before she actually met him but she was calling him her boyfriend and saying she loved him before she met him which I just found more creepy than anything else. Then earlier this year, she "dated" a guy from Canada who she's never met. I just want to shake my head at her and I find myself thinking "not again!"

    However, I think online dating and meeting up for a coffee on an official date and see where it goes then that's fine. And online friends are totally fine, I'm friends with you :)

    I think in all honesty, anyone who says they have a boyfriend after only ever dating online are bonkers! ;)


  8. Mind Of Mine Says:

    It is not a typical relationship granted, but it is their relationship. Not to be defined by others. Only them


  9. Anonymous Says:

    It is kind of sad that anyone would get so caught up in someone they never met or probably never will meet. On the other hand though, I have met people online that I really care about. People that I weep over their hurts and rejoice over their happiness. I wish them the best of everything, but a person needs to keep online friends separate from reality as in everyday life. One real friend you can sit down and talk to is worth much more then many online friends that you will never meet.
    Seems that people are seeking relationships in the wrong places, substituting cyber-world for real-world.
    Your cyber-friend that really cares...Nedmot


  10. zeph Says:

    Nah, I know several married couples who got together first by online dating.

    Of course, if you never actually get together, that's an odd relationship. Then again, homosexuality was defined as mental illness not so long ago, so you might want to be careful how you judge. It's not up to you to make their choices for them.