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Sometimes I say stop feeling sorry for yourself. What's in the past is done and over with your not gonna change it. So stop thinking about it like you can. Sure you had some shit did to you in your past so what everybody has. Other people have overcome a whole lot worse than you. Stop dwelling on it and move on with your life.

Good advice!! Now I need to take it!!

If my old truck was a horse
I'd have to shoot it
Lord the day my ship came in
I was waiting for a train

Everytime I get a grip, I always lose it
I can't find the sunshine for the rain
And you know I'm always saying I'm sorry
But you stand by me through it all

Seems everytime I make my mark
Somebody paints the wall

Everytime I think I'm off and runnin
I'm barely up to a crawl
Everytime I get a leg up on the ladder of success
I slip and fall

Like last week down at the factory
I was up for a promotion
But the boss says little brother got the call

Seems everytime I make my mark
Somebody paints the wall

Everytime I think I'm off and runnin
I'm barely up to a crawl

Everytime I get a leg up
On the ladder of success, I slip and fall

Like last week down at the factory
I was up for a promotion
But the boss says little brother got the call

Seems like everytime I make my mark
Somebody paints the wall

Seems everytime I make my mark
Somebody always paints the wall

No other lover ever really cared
When I’ve reached out for you you’ve always been there
Now I’m so far away and baby I’m scared
I never knew lonely til you

You are my rock and the strength I need
To keep me sane in this life that I lead
Now I’m not with you and my broken heart bleeds
I never knew lonely til you

I never knew lonely could be so blue
I never knew lonely could tear you in two
I never loved someone like I love you
I never knew lonely til you

I can’t make up for the times I’ve been gone
But I’ll prove I love you in the words of this song
Back in your arms girl it’s where I belong
I never knew lonely til you

I never knew lonely could be so blue
I never knew lonely could tear you in two
I never loved someone like I love you
I never knew lonely til you

Last week one of my readers Nykk from the UK said in a comment that he had just seen a highlight show of the country music awards. He said he liked it and knowing that I like country music wanted to know what I thought he should listen to first. Unfortunately what he heard on the awards show probably 90 % of it in my opinion is not country music. Let me tell you what I think country music is. Good men singers are George Jones,Vern Gosdin,Hank Williams Sr. (not Jr. hes not country),Conway Twitty,Brad Paisley,Alan Jackson thats just a few there are other good ones also. Good women singers are Dolly Parton,Martina Mcbride,Sara Evans,Leann Womack,Patty Loveless,Pam Tillis just to name a few. Let me tell you what is not country music .The group Big and Rich is not country music if you make a video and it looks like the circus has come to town thats not country music. Another example and I can't even believe Im puttin his video on my blog but the only reason I am is to show what aint country music. I use to like this asshole thats in the video. I dont know what the hell he's thinkin making it but that's his problem. The singers Ive listed are traditional country music what is use to sound like. You don't hear it on the radio or TV much anymore which is a shame.

Spencer here's your song test. Sorry it took me so long I was just trying to find a good one. Good Luck!! Old memories have the damnest way of showing up at the most unusual times. They can walk right through the darkest part of your mind and turn on every light.

It's funny how doing the most normal of things can bring back memories for you.

1. And your crybaby whiny opinion would be...?
2. Do I look like a people person?
3. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
4. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
5. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
6. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
7. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
8. You!... Off my planet!
9. If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cats.
10. Does your train of thought have a caboose?
11. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
12. A PBS mind in an MTV world.
13. Allow me to introduce my selves.
14. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
15. Suburbia: where they tear out the trees and then name streets after them.
16. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
17. See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
18. I have a computer, a remote control, and pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house?
19. Not all men [women] are annoying. Some are dead.
20. Did I mention the kick in the groin you'll be receiving if you touch me?
21. A woman's favorite position is CEO.
22. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
23. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
24. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
25. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
26. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
27. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
28. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
29. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
30. I plead contemporary insanity.
31. And which dwarf are you?
32. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
33. Meandering to a different drummer.
34. I majored in liberal arts. Will that be for here or to go?

When I first met you I didn't care,
Then after a while I felt you there.
Before I met you my hopes had seemed to die,
And now my eyes have no more tears to cry.
Now the sun has shined from above,
cause you surrendered me with your love.
And why I feel this way about you....
I just don't know.
All I know is that I won't ever let go.
I won't let go of what I feel,
And with this poem I will make you a deal.
I promise to always love you
and respect you in everything that I do.
Cause one thing that I know is....
That I'm all about you!

I thought I would let everyone know I have started a new blog. It's nothing but pics of cute guys. Who don't like cute guys anyway. The name of it is The Boy's Club if you want go over and check it out.

I can't believe I forgot to mention one of the coolest things Ryan sent me the other day. When he went to the race in Atlanta last month he got Kasey Kahne and Brian Vickers autographs. He got them to sign cards for me and him. Ain't he just the sweetest person in the world.

I am so happy I can't put it into words. Christmas came early for me this year. I got a package from Ryan yesterday and I thought I would share with you what all I got. First was his little note which I love,his writing is so cute. Then my teddy bear,his name is Wyan. His name is a long story and my little secret. He's got Ryan's favorite cologne on so when I sleep with him I can always be reminded of Ryan not that I need any help. The Kasey Kahne watch Ryan bought for me but the little white car is a collectors item and Kasey sent him 2 of them so he gave me one. The bigger blue car Ryan wanted me to have cause it's his favorite driver. He also sent me a bottle of his favorite cologne Mesmerize so we can smell like each other. I got a few other things I can't mention other than to say their special and mean the world to me as did all the things he sent. I hope nobody thinks it's childish me getting a teddy bear and cars. Their special to me and I will cherish them alway. Thanks babe for making my day so special yesterday. Your the best and I love you with all my heart.

I want to say Im sorry to everybody who has been coming to my blog and Ryan's also. I made a major fuck up the other day. I dont even know I did it for sure it could have been a glitch or something. For some reason the enable moderation was turned on on mine and Ryan's comments. Their both on the same account and so he wasn't seeing his comments and neither was I. Im sorry it happened nobodys been banned or anything like that and I cant say Im sorry enough to all the readers of my blog and Ryans also.

FEELIN STUPID

I close my eyes
And head for the path,
I can see you there
My heart now beats fast.
The world that I have entered
The one where you are,
Has pulled me in so deeply
My soul has reached beyond the stars.
The feeling that you give me,
It's one I can not lose,
I treasure it so deep inside
I believe this to be true.
You've shown me a life
That has no body to be seen
But where two soul
have joined
For all eternity.
Promise me if you can
You'll always hold this close,
Remember my soul next to you
Cause in my heart, I hold you close.

When I was little as far back as I can remember when I had something to say or even was thinking something I was either told to shut up or sometimes even smacked. Now as a result of that I believe I have a hard time expressing myself. Like commenting on friends blogs even. I read blogs everyday and have comments in my head but I think they don't matter so I don't even say them. I know it's online and everything and Im more or less anonymous but it's just like Im right there talking to the person and I just clam up.

While I was on the subject of growing up. I love my mom dearly but she does something that annoys the hell out of me. Not so much now but when I was little. It used to hurt me but now it just bugs me. I would ask for something or to go somewhere or just anything and she would always put me off. It would always be Ill do it I promise Mike or we'll go in a little bit I promise stuff like that. Like I said it don't hurt now but as a little kid it did.

For every breath you exhale
I inhale your love for me,
For every breath I exhale
I send my love to thee.

You have been placed deep within my heart
No one can ever take that away,
I pledge my eternal love to you
Until my dying day.

The way you touch me
Warms my soul and heart,
The way destiny brought us together
Tells me, we shall never part.

I know you are my life now
There's no way I shall ever let go of you,
I give my life and true love
One day I shall become one with you.

You'll never be sorry if you let me love you.
You'll never be lonely if you let me care.
If you'd let me hold you, you'll know what I told you is true.
You'll never be sorry if you let me love you.

The first time I saw you,
I could not forget you.
I felt I had known you,
All of my life.
I have been faithful to you since the moment our eyes said hello.
You may think I'm crazy,
There's only one way you will know.

You'll never be sorry if you let me love you.
You'll never be lonely if you let me care.
If you'd let me hold you, you'll know what I told you is true.
You'll never be sorry if you let me love you.

Once in forever fate brings us together like this.
Someday when we're older we'll laugh and remember
Those moments before we first kissed.

You'll never be sorry if you let me love you.
You'll never be lonely if you let me care.
If you let me hold you, you'll know what I told you is true.
You'll never be sorry if you let me love you.
You'll never be sorry if you let me love you.

Some things that make me smile and of course you know what tops my list.

Spencer your song you gave me happens to be one of Ryan's favorites but he didn't help honest. It was Trail of Tears by Billy Ray Cyrus. Here's your's for the day. Good Luck. I can't help beleiving there's another,oh you've been whispering in your dreams.

My Angel

The other day I posted my 5 songs from my youth. I should have included this one. The little boy reminds me so much of my childhood.

I got a new toy to play with. Ryan knows how much I love George Jones he found this way to post videos so he showed me. In case anyone doesn't know George Jones is the greatest country singer ever alive or dead period. Thanx babe I love you

Over at Spencer & Daisy's blog Spencer asked what 5 songs remind you of your youth.
A couple of my songs are from my youth and a few are new to me but they have meaning.

1. Go Rest High On That Mountain by Vince Gill
(reminds me of my brother)
2. I'm No Stranger To The Rain by Keith Whitley
(again reminds me of my brother. their troubles were very similar the bottle)
3. You Needed Me by Anne Murray
(Me and Ryan's song I had to include it. I love you babe)
4. Choices by George Jones
(reminds me of my "father'' and the choices he made and fucked up everybody's life)
5. When I Get Where I'm Going by Brad Paisley and Dolly Parton
(a new song I just heard but I love can't go wrong with Brad and Dolly)

The time of year is rolling around that always puts me in a sad mood. I can feel it coming on. Thanksgiving and Christmas time I mean. Thanksgivings never was much to be thankful for but to be honest with you they have gotten better since my "father" died. I always went to my uncles house on Thanksgiving to get away from all the cussing and yellin and fightin.

Christmas I wont say I didn't get presents cause I did cloths mostly. A kid would like to have a toy sometime wouldnt he. Am I being ungrateful for wanting toys to play with I did appreciate the cloths. I would always get big promises of toys but that's it. Here's the way a conversation would go between me and my "father". I would see something on tv so I would say man that looks neat I bet that would be fun. He would say you want that boy Ill get it for Christmas for you. Funny thing I beleived him everytime. I reckon kids are stupid that way. Im still big on promises I suppose I always will be.

Here's you song test for today Spencer good luck.I know all she plans to do
But I don't know where or when.

We tend to get what we expect. Norman Vincent Peale

I was wondering what the word normal means so I looked it up. Normal means ordinary or usual; the same as would be expected. I was thinkin who decides what normal is some doctor or the government. Im being serious I really want to know. Who made the test up that determines whether were normal or not and did the person who made it up have to take it as well. The definitation says it means ordinary or usual. Who wants to be ordinary I sure as hell don't. You should be yourself and not what someone tries to make you be as in someone trying to make you be normal.

I love you,
Not only for what you are,
But for what you do,
When I am with you.
I love you,
Not only for what You
have made of yourself,
But for what
You are making of me.
I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out;
I love you,
For putting your hand
Into my loving-you heart
And passing over
All the foolish, weak things,
things I've said.
I love you
because you,
are helping me to,
build something of my life.
Not a house
But a temple;
Out of the framework
Of my everyday
love for you
I love you
Because you have done
More than anyone
Could have done
To make me good,
And more than any fate
Could have done
To make me happy.
You have done it
Without a touch,
Without a word,
Without a sign.
You have done it
By being yourself,
Perhaps that is what
being a friend means
After all.

Im in a good mood today I may even splurge and buy myself something today. Maybe even something I want.

Song test time Spencer. You and your 1000 cds you got it somewhere I bet. Well my daddy plays the banjo and saws the fiddle too. Taught me how to sing and play for you

Never get to happy
Never get to sad
Never get to mad
Never get to excited about anything
Never think your entitled to something just because of who you are
Don't think wishing for something doesn't work,it does
Don't think just because you wish for something it's going to happen,it wont
If somethings to good to be true it is
Everything happens for a reason